The real reason England left the EU

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Witch Doctor 01, Jun 28, 2016.

  1. Witch Doctor 01

    Witch Doctor 01 Mojo Maker

    Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC (now officially the European Union, or EU), the European Parliament has commissioned a feasibility study in ways of improving efficiency in communications between Government departments.

    European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessary difficult; for example: cough, plough, rough, through and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased programme of changes to iron out these anomalies. The programme would, of course, be administered by a committee staff at top level by participating nations.

    In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using 's' instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities would resieve this news with joy. Then the hard 'c' could be replaced by 'k' sinse both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be made with one less letter.

    There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year, it was anounsed that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be written 'f'. This would make words like 'fotograf' twenty persent shorter in print.

    In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments would enkourage the removal of double letters which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.

    We would al agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful. Therefor we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and writ as though nothing had hapend. By this tim it would be four years sins the skem began and peopl would be reseptive to steps sutsh as replasing 'th' by 'z'. Perhaps zen ze funktion of 'w' kould be taken on by 'v', vitsh is, after al, half a 'w'. Shortly after zis, ze unesesary 'o' kould be dropd from words kontaining 'ou'. Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

    Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli sensibl riten styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls, difikultis and evrivun vud fin it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drems of the uvermnt vud finali hav kum tru.
  2. oil pan 4

    oil pan 4 Monkey+++

    techsar, UncleMorgan and Bandit99 like this.
  3. Oltymer

    Oltymer Monkey++

    Honklj, fohtyjxv Tyxaescrut !!!
    techsar and UncleMorgan like this.
  4. Wild Trapper

    Wild Trapper Pirate Biker

    Or they could just speak American. [ROFL]
  5. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    Her's yer syn [finger]
    techsar and UncleMorgan like this.
  6. techsar

    techsar Monkey+++

    Couple more steps and you'll have Deutsch...;)
  7. Cruisin Sloth

    Cruisin Sloth Special & Slow

    Glad they had a REAL VOTE to see how most felt.
    The Change will take time & cost , BUT do not let others(from external country's ) tell YOU how to live & who to accept .
    Just wait till you drive into Hongcouver & can't read the street signs or west persionville & not be accepted in west vancouver stores.
    It's coming !!

    Legion489 likes this.
  8. Mindgrinder

    Mindgrinder Karma Pirate Ninja|RIP 12-25-2017

    *tap tap*
    nuf sayd
  9. azrancher

    azrancher Monkey +++

    Ola, como esta...
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