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The same but different languages

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Grand58742, Feb 23, 2011.

  1. Grand58742

    Grand58742 Monkey+++

    A lot of the times we end up speaking a whole other language, based in part on the English language, but entirely different. For those who know what you are saying, you can speak fluently. For those who don’t know, things could get a little dicey…

    Gift exchange (one in the know to another in the know)

    “You got me that coyote brown Kifaru Claymore pouch with the MALICE attachment. Awesome! I’m going to mount a TAG pouch to it to see how that works before rigging it to my T.H.E. pack. Awesome gift!”

    Gift exchange (the same, but radically different languages)

    "Hey it's...brown."

    "Yeah, I know!"


    "You like it?"

    "It's brown...what are these little strap things on the side?”

    “Oh, that’s MOLLE!”

    “I don’t know Molly, is she a new designer?”

    “Not Molly, MOLLE! Like PALS!”

    “Two friends named Molly?”

    “No, like…hang on, I have to look up what MOLLE and PALS stand for.”

    “Is Molly political? Does she protest certain things with her friends?”

    “Ahhh, not like stand for, but, MOLLE, umm, MOLLE works with other compatible systems to hook on to the basic platforms.”

    “Platforms? Like shoes? Why would anyone want to hook up something to their shoes?”

    “No, not shoes. Like accessories.”

    “Oh, Molly does other accessories as well? Like other handbags and such?”

    “No, it uses a MALICE attachment system to work with other MOLLE pouches.”

    “Malice? Who’s she mad at?”

    “She’s not mad…never mind. It’s an upgrade from the old ALICE system.”

    “Who is Alice? Does she design things as well?”

    “No, ALICE is the old system that used to work with gear placement.”

    “Gear? Did Alice make like sporting goods or something?”

    “No, ALICE is just one way of doing things. MALICE is another. 5.11 has a different method. It all works with PALS.”

    “There are five hundred and eleven different ways?”

    “No, 5.11, as in five point eleven.”

    “Then five hundred friends?”

    “Umm, no.”

    “You’re confusing me.”

    “I think I might be getting confused, it’s a company.”

    “Five hundred and eleven companies make this?”

    “No! I mean, there might be, I don’t know. It’s not important anyway. Your gift can be hung on a Blackhawk vest as well.”

    “It’s Native American?”

    “No…I mean, it’s an American company, but…never mind. My friend put it on his T.H.E. pack.”

    “His the pack isn’t proper English.”

    “No, it’s his T.H.E. pack!”

    “It’s either his or the pack, which one is it?”

    “Never mind. It can be used with Eagle as well.”

    “Birds use this? Are you making this up?”

    “No, lots of folks use MOLLE. The military went to MOLLE exclusively. They won’t use anything else.”

    “That’s not nice and certainly not proper. Someone should talk to Molly about that.”

    “Not like that!”

    “Well, you were talking about birds and Indians, then you came back to Molly.”

    “No! I mean, I have PALS on my Falcon II as well.”

    “More friendly birds in your little story?”

    “No, just saying I’ve used MOLLE as well. I used to use ALICE, but not since I found MOLLE.”

    Dead silence at this point

    “That didn’t sound right did it?”

    “You bet it didn’t buddy…”

    “Okay, so moving on, you can use that on TAG as well.”

    “There is only this rhinoceros looking tag on here.”

    “Not tag, but TAG!”

    “I know and it’s made in the USA.”

    “Never mind…I thought about a Mayflower pouch, but figured you could use this more since it’s larger.”

    “What does Plymouth Rock have to do with this?”

    “It doesn’t…I just wish Tac Tailor made this kind of pouch.”

    “What kind of a tailor uses a tack to sew?”

    “Ahhh, never mind. Do you like your gift?”

    “Of course I like it, but we probably need to talk about you, Alice and Molly now…”

    And the moral of the story is…be careful what language you happen to be speaking when discussing your gear.
  2. dragonfly

    dragonfly Monkey+++

    That's sums up how I feel anymore! Talk about confused! I thought MOLLE was pronounced as MOLE! ( as in an underground critter type!)
    I am so confused....Whatever happened to fatigues, khaki's (1505's) and such...? Ok, what the heck is TAG and PAL and all the rest? I need a dictionary!
  3. Grand58742

    Grand58742 Monkey+++

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