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The Truth About Men..

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Nov 20, 2007.

  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    and I believe it....a good friend who is a LEO sent me this and we know they don't lie!

    Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

    Men love watches with multiple functions. My nephew has one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano.

    All men hate to hear "We need to talk about our relationship." These seven words even strike fear in the heart of General Schwarzkopf.

    Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally. [ROFL](I've seen this in action!)

    Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause -- you get to date young girls and ride motorcycles.

    Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.

    Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.

    Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. Men are needed emotionally and sexually, but they're also need men to help women get dressed.

    Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.

    Only men who have worn a ski or snowmobile suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.

    All men look nerdy in black socks and sandals.
    (Isn't THAT the G.D. truth)! (His comment, not mine!)

    Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: "Mitch, you look great." Mitch: "Thanks." On the other side: "Ruth, you look great." Ruth: "I do? Must be the lighting."

    Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: Depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: Nerdy and not nerdy.

    Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly, ever notice?
    (I guess you'll never see ME in a Budweiser commercial). (Again, his comment, not mine)

    No man is charming all of the time. Even I'M on record saying I wish I could be like me.

    When four or more men get together, they talk about sports. When four or more women get together, they talk about men.

    Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore, scratch, & fart.

    Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.
  2. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

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