Thinker

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by ghrit, Jan 19, 2011.


  1. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member

    The Thinker


    It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then - just to loosen up and be a part of the crowd. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.

    That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't help myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau, Muir, Confucius, Camus and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly that we are doing here?" One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."

    This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..." "I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!" "But Honey, surely it's not that serious." "It is serious," she said, her lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!" "That's a fallacious syllogism," I said impatiently. She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama.


    "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some John Locke. I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors. They didn't open. The library was closed. To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night.

    Leaning on the unfeeling glass and whimpering for Emerson, a poster caught my eye, "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous poster. This is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for me.

    Today I took the final step... I joined the Democratic Party.[beer]
     
  2. jungatheart

    jungatheart Beginner's Mind

    Great, thanks.
     
  3. Gray Wolf

    Gray Wolf Monkey+++

    No worries, the democratic party is happy to do your thinking for you!
     
  4. Equilibrium

    Equilibrium Monkey++

    Ummm.... I don't think Democrats think at all anymore. The UN has been doing the thinking for them for a very looooong time.... Democrats aren't Democrats anymore.... they're a UN conduit. You know.... social justice and "global" utopia for all via what ever political instrument their "faithful" can force down our throats to further whittle away at our rights. The UN is colder and more calculating than the cancer and biotechnology industries combined IMHO.
     
  5. Dawg-fan-in-TN

    Dawg-fan-in-TN Monkey+

  6. Equilibrium

    Equilibrium Monkey++

    "Nice" Takes having been one to know one. ;)
    Does anyone recall when our President chose himself as Chairman of the United Nations Security Council and as a result of this “conflict” of interest…. Biden quietly “filled his shoes” as leader of our Nation for the duration, In Violation of the Constitution: Obama Takes On Chairmanship of UN Security Council, “Some unprecedented news today, folks. Never in the history of the United Nations has a U.S. President taken the chairmanship of the powerful UN Security Council. Perhaps it is because of what could arguably be a Constitutional prohibition against doing so. To wit: Section 9 of the Constitution says:…” If you use Google as your search engine…. please consider a change. Google appears to be “filtering” out that which they don’t "agree with" or want us commoners reading. Yahoo is somewhat better in that they do cache pages removed from view better but…. don’t be forgetting AlGore… the self-professed “inventor of the internet”… was a Google senior advisor, Al Gore Advised Google About 'Search Quality' | NewsBusters.org.
     
  7. Equilibrium

    Equilibrium Monkey++

    Google Sr Advisor Al Gore is the ringleader of "Google's Poodles", Google Sr Advisor Al Gore is the ringleader of "Google's Poodles" | The Precursor Blog by Scott Cleland, “Wait a minute. The term "net neutrality" was only coined as late as 2002 by a socialist Columbia Law Professor!... And where are the disclosures in the book that most all of Mr. Gore's multi-ten million dollar net worth is in Google shares -- constituting a huge undisclosed conflict of interest on the issue of net neutrality.” Now take a look at this, UN considers panel of governments to set policies for policing the Internet | Raw Story, “A United Nations task force formed last week said it was considering the creation of a new inter-governmental working group to help further international cooperation on policies to police the Internet.
    The discussion was undertaken to "enhance" and extend the work of the Internet Governance Forum (IGF), a UN-sponsored organization that makes recommendations on how governments should deal with the Internet. The IGF's mandate is due to expire soon, so members of the UN's Commission on Science and Technology for Development Bureau took up the issue and formed a task force to determine what the new IGF should look like.” They did it…. by gosh by golly…. they’re ready to go with a “new and improved” task force… not all that dissimilar to the IPCC’s climate change "task force" advising governments on all things global warming only now they’ll be “advising” er uh “mandating” on all things internet. And don't forget we've already got the UN's WHO out there "advising" er uh "mandating" to us already. Our current administration is "harmonizing" us.
     
survivalmonkey SSL seal        survivalmonkey.com warrant canary
17282WuJHksJ9798f34razfKbPATqTq9E7