This just Has to Be considered a JOKE..... What the MSM thinks of US.....

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by BTPost, Nov 5, 2016.

  1. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart Snow Monkey Moderator

    Election Chaos Fears Have Preppers Stockpiling Survival Food
    In case of an election night Doomsday, preppers are running up sales of emergency survival food.

    While sales for "long term food" typically see an increase around natural disasters and elections, "this is more intense than what we saw in 2012," said Keith Bansemer, VP of marketing for My Patriot Supply, a manufacturer and seller of survival food. During the previous election his company saw sales double. This time it's triple.

    "We have everyone we can on the phones," he said. "We are overwhelmed."
    A handout image showing a one-year supply of food for four people. My Patriot Supply

    Purchases at other long term food supply companies are up as well. Emergency preparedness online store TheEpicenter reports a 6 percent uptick in year over year sales.

    Another company, Legacy Foods, predicts they'll see a 1-2 week spike in sales after the election -- if Hillary Clinton wins, said owner Phil Cox.

    The meals, sold by the plastic bucket or tote bin, are typically dehydrated or freeze-dried food in sealed military-grade Mylar packs. Menu items include pasta primavera, Hawaiian Style Sweet n' Sour, cheesy broccoli and rice soup, orange energy drink mix and chocolate pudding. They're sold in bundles based on how long they'll feed" target="_blank">Try watching this video on</a>, or enable JavaScript if it is disabled in your browser.</div></div>

    For $2,000 spent at Legacy Foods, you could eat three square meals a day for an entire year. That's 1,080 servings. TheEpicenter has a 14-day supply kit for $235 that's recently been "selling really well," said owner Bryan Nelson. The most popular entry-level seller at My Patriot Supply is a 3-month supply for $497. It comes a in nondescript gray slim line totes bin designed to be easy to stack in the back of a closet or slip under your bed.

    Big name retailers are in on the game. Costco sells a 1-month supply of 390 servings in plastic gallon buckets for $114.99. Wal-Mart has a bucket deal, too.

    What's feeding this new urgency? Survivalist consumers says they're preparing for post-election unrest that could involve everything from massive riots, to power grid outages, to the total collapse of the financial system where a can of food becomes currency.

    And it's not just guys digging a hole on their farm and filling it with MRE's who are driving sales, companies say, but schoolteachers, moms, and successful financial planners. Nor is it limited to just rural areas.

    "Frederick Reddie," a 41-year-old "urban prepper" from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania is stocking up on staples like rice and peanut butter and working on expanding his 6-month supply of emergency food to two years. He has to use a pseudonym to protect his supply from any future hungry neighbors, he told NBC News.

    Reddie predicts a Trump win that has the urban poor revolting across the nation and the imposition of martial law to quell riots and the burning of businesses.

    But he's also getting ready for the possibility of a Clinton victory that he says could lead to conflict with Russia and "World War 3 in 2017."

    Either way, Freddy's ready - with both supplies and a word of advice.

    "At minimum stock up your cabinets as if you knew a hurricane was coming," he said. "It'll be like a hurricane that could touch every city in America."

    The companies take pains to point out that they sell food not just for the collapse of civilization but also for camping, outdoor recreation, and natural disaster preparedness, like Ebola or volcanoes.

    Their customers are careful, self-sufficient and pragmatic types, they say, students of history who know things like stock market bubbles and crashes go in cycles and are taking small, meaningful steps, to reassert control over a toxic election. They're always thinking ahead.

    Cans of food that last 25 years are "better than money in the bank," said Nelson. "If you think the value of money is going to go down, then you could convert dollars into something tangible that you can use later" for either eating or barter.

    Bansemer said that his customers don't necessarily fear a specific election outcome, but change itself.

    "You hear them saying, no matter who wins, I know I could take a positive step myself and secure what's important," he said. "They're securing their food supply."
  2. DKR

    DKR Raconteur of the first stripe

    Bruce is correct on this being a joke.

    (Throws the Bullsh!t flag)

    "three square meals a day for an entire year. That's 1,080 servings" NO, it is not.

    3 x 365 = 1095. And a serving is NOT a meal.

    A meal:
    An entree
    A side dish (corn, peas, vegis - something)
    Fruit as 'desert' or perhaps some Jello or pudding
    Something to drink other than water. Like coffee with Breakfast
    And many want a 'bread' item as well (cornbread, crackers, pilot bread - something)

    1/2 cup of cooked oatmeal is NOT a 'meal'.

    A meal is a full cup of cooked white beans over cornbread (with butter and maple syrup for fun), a serving of Jello and half of a peach - now that...that's a meal......With a glass of milk, preferably chocolate.


    Not trying to derail this but so many of these sleazeball 'food storage vendors' are just plain a rip-off.


    And buying just before an election will ensure you make a very bad/poorly thought out purchase.

    See these for something better than Bucket Chow.
    Affordable One-Year Emergency Food Supply by Robert Wayne Atkins, P.E. - Grandpappy (real food/one year/one person - $800 when written)
    Basic food planning and packing - Survivalist Forum

    Bucket Chow
    Augason Farms 30 day bucket trial. - Page 3 - Survivalist Forum
    Not a happy outcome.
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2016
  3. DarkLight

    DarkLight Live Long and Prosper - On Hiatus Site Supporter

    They lost me at "military grade mylar"...
    Sgt Nambu, GOG, Ganado and 2 others like this.
  4. Bandit99

    Bandit99 Monkey+++ Site Supporter+

    @DKR That is a pretty good list by Robert Akins! I checked through and noticed I have most the things on there but missing - salt. Not sure how I missed that but it sure was worth you posting it. Thanks! I have saved the list for future knowledge.
    Sgt Nambu, Ganado, 3M-TA3 and 2 others like this.
  5. Seepalaces

    Seepalaces Monkey+++ Site Supporter+

    When we had our "storm of the century" a few weeks ago in PNW, the stores were brimming with people buying things. I just stayed home. As I had guessed, trying to get in and out of a store in an emergency is probably more dangerous than consistently prepping and relying on those preps (which, incidentally, we never touched because we never lost power).
  6. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    Yeah, right up there with military grade aluminum truck bodies. Whataloada.
    Sgt Nambu and Seepalaces like this.
  7. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    It is exactly what I would expect from a liberal arts major writing when the get their first job with the MSM. It probably isn't a hoax, even though it is a joke to those of us that do prepare. Flick on the liberal logic and see the world from a sheep's perspective.
  8. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    Oddly enough, I don't feel much confidence in using military grade condoms; Anything produced by the lowest tenderer has me wondering about quality issues. :LOL:
  9. Gator 45/70

    Gator 45/70 Monkey+++

    Regular run of the mill Helter Skelter sales pitch.
    Sgt Nambu, Seepalaces and chelloveck like this.
  10. DKR

    DKR Raconteur of the first stripe

    Instead of buying the so-called Bucket Chow (the lazy man's road to starvation) buy a book and use it

    I Can't Believe It's Food Storage: A Simple Step-by-Step Plan for Using Food Storage to Create Delicious Meals
    by Crystal Godfrey

    Just in case: A manual of home preparedness
    ISBN-13: 978-0884942801 ISBN-10: 0884942805

    Book by Salsbury, Barbara G
    This lady has been writing about food storage & cooking with storage items since the early 70's - knows her stuff. Has a ton of very good books covering use, recipes and everything in-between.
  11. Yard Dart

    Yard Dart Vigilant Monkey Moderator

    I hope they burn it down within the urban centers.... it will be a nice beginning to a reset highly needed.

    This may be a joke thread... but there are many out there buying ammo, weaps and such now, just in case hildabeast wins the day. Once that is determined... then we will all have to decide what our prepping priorities are moving forward. ;)
    Sgt Nambu, GOG, Cruisin Sloth and 2 others like this.
  12. Bandit99

    Bandit99 Monkey+++ Site Supporter+

    I do not understand why this country tolerates riots. I just don't get it. To demonstrate peacefully is one thing but to riot destroying property and threaten Be thankful I am not at the reins because I would be machine gunning them down.
    Sgt Nambu, Mountainman and Seepalaces like this.
  13. T. Riley

    T. Riley Monkey+++

    For someone with no preps, now is a good time to buy something. Anyone selling survival food by the serving is a fraud and will get people killed. Just like "survival seed vaults". Most people can't cook from scratch much less grow their own food and do not realize how much land under cultivation it would take to completely feed four people; your back yard ain't gone a make it. They will go through their "one year supply" in 90 day then starve to death if some one does not kill them first. Oh yeah, Jim Baker is the biggest fraud of all and should go to jail again for the crap he sells as he prays for his victims. The Morman church remains the best place, in my opinion, to buy the bulk of your survival food.
    Sgt Nambu, GOG, Ganado and 2 others like this.
  14. DKR

    DKR Raconteur of the first stripe

    Some might call that harsh - but it has happened before
    1884, the Cincinnati Courthouse Riots Of 1884 - gatling guns for 'riot control'

    This photograph may show the Gatling gun that was brought to Winston from Charlotte during the riot of 1895.

    The infamous draft riots in New York, 1863 - where active duty US Army troops fired rifles (and machine guns) AT US CITIZENS. Tell me it can't happen - it has happened and more than once.

    The New York Times (Yes, the newspaper) had Gatling guns out front to protect the presses from rioters.

    So, ya. It could happen.


    The Dayton Daily Democrat made the same comparison as Hugo, but not in a flattering sense, when it called the mob a "Commune" and Cincinnati "the Paris of America".
    Harper's Weekly blamed the riots on the fact that intelligent citizens had ceded politics to venal politicians. The paper called for stronger laws with "swift, sure and solemn" execution, and said that if middle-class Americans were running government instead of corrupt special interests, incidents like the riots would not occur

    Sounds like current events, eh?
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2016
    Yard Dart, GOG and Bandit99 like this.
  15. Olympic mountain man

    Olympic mountain man just a lonely cook

    I live near the mountains and can be in the woods in a flash I can hunt fish and forage stay full and fat with not much effort and stay hid that is my prep! knowing the skills to do it is priceless. I didn't name myself Olympic mountain man for nothing lol
    Sgt Nambu, Mountainman, GOG and 2 others like this.
  16. Ura-Ki

    Ura-Ki Grampa Monkey

    I'm right there with ya Olympic, Up on the Plateau not many could survive a good winter up here, and with small resources available, many would simple starve before things got really going! This story is a bad joke, one that over reacts and takes things at a glance and makes a plan based on that! People that follow this and buy what's being sold will not make it long! I have been hungry before, hungry enough to kill to take, so I know just where that level of sanity can be reached with most! Most will die of thirst long before they die of hunger!!!
  17. T. Riley

    T. Riley Monkey+++

    A wild game and fish diet here might kill you from protein poisoning due to a lack of fat and essential vitamins. Not much of either in East Texas critters. Then there is the issue of preserving a kill long enough to eat it all. Also the issue of effort vs calories. Hunting all day to kill 10 squirrels that don't replace the calories burned would be counter productive. Here, I have to view wild game and fish as an occasional supplement to staples like rice and beans.
    GOG, chelloveck, Brokor and 1 other person like this.
  18. Brokor

    Brokor Live Free or Cry Moderator Site Supporter+++ Founding Member

    I have experimented with fasting, and I do believe some others here have as well. After a few days, it tends to screw with your judgment, and can be quite painful. There are methods to alleviate some of the symptoms of hunger (short term) which may assist while food is not readily accessible. No matter what, we do need fats and vitamins.

    For those wondering what some of my secrets are, it's simple. Tea, honey, nuts. Also, survival tabs for a bug-out. No, you cannot subsist indefinitely this way, but it can greatly improve your chances to survive.
    Tabs (25 year shelf life):
    GOG and Yard Dart like this.
  19. Thunder5Ranch

    Thunder5Ranch Monkey+++

    Don't know if it is the election or just the general *Improving Economy* but my whole hog sales have tripled this year from the same time last year. A lot of regulars that buy one fall pig for custom processing are buying 2-3 and have bought a additional freezer or two. Also a lot of them have bought bigger propane generators and had not one but two tanks set and filled for the generators. I have had several ask to see my battery system I use in conjunction with solar, my truck, a tractor PTO Generator and a Diesel back up generator. They are quite fascinated that I can go two weeks without any charge going into the batteries and still run the 12v LED lights and power 3 freezers. Of course the cost of that battery bank of (30) 600Amp hour batteries scares them. Other things that have been selling at 3x - 5x normal are potatoes, onions, garlic and carrots, things that have a long shelf life. I have also had a dozen people ask me to show them how to pressure can meats. Might just be a general trend to more people wanting a good solid food reserve, or maybe a collective sense of impending doom. Either way it has been a welcome financial boost that gives me more worthless paper to trade for things of real value.
    Gafarmboy, Mountainman, GOG and 2 others like this.
  20. arleigh

    arleigh Goophy monkey

    Just a few months into the "29" crash ,I'm told, wild life all but disappeared , certain deer went extinct.
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