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Thought this was funny

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by bmtm09, Aug 4, 2016.

  1. bmtm09

    bmtm09 Monkey

    During the final days at Denver's old Stapleton airport, a crowded United flight was cancelled. A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.

    Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."

    The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out." The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"

    Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 17."

    With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore "Screw you."

    Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that too."
  2. duane

    duane Monkey++

    Old Texas joke about the newly rich oil man in Huston who had just moved into his new house. Man walks up and asks to look at the beautiful new house. The oil man puffs up and proceeds to show him his new house. Lot was 500,000, front door came from old English castle and was 20,000, lamps in main room were Tiffeny and cost 40,000 each, and so on for the whole house. When they were through with the tour, he escorted the man out and the man said. "Do you know who I am?" The oilman said "No". The visitor said " I am the county assessor and I am out here to set your valuation for your taxes". The oilman thought for a moment and then said "Do you know who I am?" The assessor said "No I don't". The oil man said "I am the biggest da** liar in the whole State of Texas".
    Olympic mountain man and bmtm09 like this.
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