Today is Valentines Day, but it is also V-Day.....

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by chelloveck, Feb 13, 2012.

  1. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    V-Day (Victory against violence day) is a Global movement with the object of ending violence against women and girls worldwide.

    I invite you to check out the movement's website. I also invite you to download and listen to a streamed radio broadcast by Margaret Throsby (An Australian radio interviewer), interviewing the movements founder, Eve Ensler, American playright and author of "The Vagina Monologues".

    V-Day organisation
    Home | V-Day: A Global Movement to End Violence Against Women and Girls Worldwide.

    Margaret Throsby / Eve Ensler interview ABC Classic Radio. 2011

    Eve Ensler Interview "Women will rise up and take the Congo for the Congolese" The Guardian (Online)

    The Vagina Monologues
    The Vagina Monologues - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
  2. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart,Deadman Walking, Snow Monkey Moderator

    Do you also go in for "Candle Light Vigils" , and Group Sings of "Kume Ba Ya" there Chell... They all have about the same effect.... ..... YMMV....
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  3. Gator 45/70

    Gator 45/70 Monkey+++

    Tomorrow is support Starbucks Day...I think i'll have a cup of Joe in the morning...
    Alpha Dog likes this.
  4. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    Nothing changes if you choose not to do anything about it

    And of course, You are entitled to be ".". I support the things that I believe to have merit, and this movement's objectives I believe have merit and worth supporting....Will I be holding a candle light vigil, or singing "Kume Ba Ya" on the 14th of February of next year?...No.... but I will most likely be dancing for the cause, in partnership with as many folk, male and female that I can encourage to participate in the day's commemorative activities....much more pleasant, and probably much more effective, than getting down on my knees, and praying to God....that violence against women and girls goes away.

    The thing is....the V movement is already effecting change....again....I invite you to listen to the ABC podcast / streamed broadcast of the Throsby / Ensler interview before making any peremptory remarks, however sceptical you may feel about the whole idea or about the way with which the movement is tackling the problem. As my youngest son so eruditely observed, when I told him of my post on this subject.... "Nothing ever changes if you choose not to do anything about it"

    I have observed the effects of violence against women, and at first hand, being the son of a mother who for some 60 years has endured an abusive husband. The violence certainly had its effect on in many senses, women and girls are not the only victims of violence against women and girls...nearly everyone is a loser in that gig....even the perpetraters (be they male....or female).

    As to the efficacy of candle light vigils, and singing...and rallies....just ask the civil rights movement in America that started with, (among other things and with other people), the decision by one individual who decided not to sit at the back of the bus, and the courage to refuse any dirction that she should. Enough people saw the merit of her cause...and to a greater or lesser extent, risked jail, risked ridicule, risked censure, risked physical abuse, risked losing their job, for an ideal that they felt had merit and were prepared to act on that conviction. And they did it by, among other things...candle light vigils, group singing ("We shall overcome!!!") and rallies. Even intimidation and assasination could not stop that groundswell.

    Sometimes, even a devil's advocate can see the merit in helping the angels in achieving good things. Do I want to be one of the billion, at least having a go at doing something positive for the cause...Yes! seems to me to be a much better, life affirming option than being one of the billions doing squat!
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  5. Redneck Rebel

    Redneck Rebel Monkey++

    RIP Goosey
  6. ColtCarbine

    ColtCarbine Monkey+++ Founding Member

    Did somebody say vagina? [peep]
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  7. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    If you missed the V Monologues, don't miss the P Monologues

    Yes, CC It's that part of a woman's anatomy that contains the the occasionally sought for, but seldom found, "G" Spot...I'll give you a heads up (so to speak), when the Penis Monologues hit town! ; ) I'm certain that there will be standing room only!
  8. Cephus

    Cephus Monkey+++ Founding Member

    Well said!! Few words a lot of content !!
  9. weegrannymush

    weegrannymush Monkey+

    You are a good man, Chello.......excellent post. If I may be pardoned for being personal - why has your mother endured 60 years of abuse? Was it not possible in her family's adult years, for them to do something about the situation, to help her? Not my business, of course, just wonderin' seems such a shame to still be under such a cloud at her age.

    My husband (now dead) would become angry and on the verge of violence when he drank....he only once became actually violent to me (knocked me down and kicked the daylights out of me) but the kids could sense the violence simmering there and they were very fearful of him. This all took place near the end of our 15 year marriage so it was not a continual thing for too long. I don't know whether I would have eventually left him or not but he left me, as I have said before in another post, for a "new love", so the question was academic. However, the cause of violence against women and children is very much one close to my heart and one that I wholeheartedly support.

    My thanks to you and all the other good men who find it unthinkable to commit violence to the women and children in their lives. Live long and prosper!
  10. ColtCarbine

    ColtCarbine Monkey+++ Founding Member

    I can relate to this thread. I remember the last time my dad came home drunk and tried to get violent with my mom when I was 10. My mom smacked him upside the head with a cast iron skillet. He woke the next morning not knowing what hit him, she sent him on his way after that packing. Cause and effect.

    Let's skip the penis discussion though, I'd rather talk about one of my favorite parts of a woman.
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  11. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    Interim reply

    Thankyou for your kind remarks, granny. I know that this is not your position on the matter but,

    It might be tempting, and possibly a little trite for some to suggest, "well if every woman was armed with a gun, then there'd be less violence against women". but the essence of it is...that were that to be put into universal effect, I am not convinced that even if it could be argued that the violence against women was reduced, I am not sure that it would necessarily reduce the sum total of human violence. It merely introduces an additional measure of lethality into the equation that doesn't really address the human culturally institutional enablers that encourage, support and reinforce gender based violence in the first place.

    Granny, you asked what you identified as a personal question of me and my family's relationship to gender directed violence. It is a question that has exercised my mind for many years, from the time that I was a young boy, and during every stage of my life's development, as my knowledge about myself, my family, and my experiences and understanding has grown of what it is to be a man, a lover, a husband, a parent, and as a grandparent.

    I could explain myself and my experiences by sending you a private message and certainly I have seriously thought of doings so. However...I also recognise the power of personal testimony in encouraging people to think deeply, and evaluate their own experiences and values relative to the person giving testimony. As I have previously said, I believe the objectives of the V-Day project have merit, so, In supporting that effort, I am prepared to expose some of my personal, and somewhat painful (physically, emotionally and psychologically) experiences with gender directed violence, and also some of the darker aspects of my family's filial and matrimonial relationships. (be assured that the narrative does not involve sexual abuse...that, at least we as children, and presumably my mother was spared) But having a father who was and still is an abuser, (though in some ways somewhat less effectual at it these days, it does not necessarily attenuate the negative effects on the family entirely).

    Before I start drafting my testimony, I would ask you to do two things....

    1. listen to the Throsby / Ensler explains more fully the genesis of the V-Day project, and it's objectives. Ensler's story is quite inspiring and worth listening to in its own right.

    2. Consider the nature of gender violence directed at women and girls

    I am no expert on it....but think beyond just a husband slapping his wife...a boy coercing his girlfriend into agreeing to have sex against her inclinations, a father having incestual sex with his daughter, a gang of boys intimidating and raping a girl or girls. Think also of physical and sexual abuse of women and girls in war, as a tactic in political and economic repression, think of trafficking of women and girls for sexual exploitation, think of the pimps that fail to protect their prostitutes against the demands of customers for condomless sex,

    Violence against women and girls is not always physical or sexual...sometimes the emotional and psychological violence meted out by men against women are just as damaging, debilitating, and is an insidious process and not always evident to the victim, let alone to the casual observer, what is going on.

    It ought be recognised that some women and girls can be as, and in sometimes even more cruel towards men and other women as men may be violent to women. A classic example of this is the cruelty and violence of female prison guards in WWII concentration camps...and I am in no way excusing women from their role in gender based violence, either as perpetrators or as enablers.

    The important thing to realise is that much of gender directed violence has, at its core, the imperative of control. Control of sexuality, sexual behaviour, sexual reproduction, and of behaviour in its broadest terms, but also control of women as an economic commodity. Some violence against women is perhaps not necessarily gender based...for instance a woman killed by some criminal incidental to the committing of some random unrelated crime...but even then, a woman may have been unconsciously if not consciously selected as a target because of what the woman represents to the easy target, generally weaker physically than a male, who is a much less likely threat to them than a male.

    Anyhow, this is enough to be thinking on for the moment, and I wouldn't like to overly tax too many people on this site, so I shall leave the topic for the moment and get to work on my testimony. Please be patient with me...although it is a matter that I have frequently thought about, I have never put pen to paper, so to speak and written about it...but it is worth doing, if only for the sake of my children and grand children who, may some day also read it.
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  12. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    Well said!! even fewer words but a lot more discontent!!
  13. Gator 45/70

    Gator 45/70 Monkey+++

    Hey...You guy's and gal's...Have a Happy Valentine's Day...!!!!
  14. Redneck Rebel

    Redneck Rebel Monkey++

    chelloveck likes this.
  15. RightHand

    RightHand Been There, Done That RIP 4/15/21 Moderator Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    There are few absolutes in life but some exist:

    1. Cruelty is not gender specific

    2. There will always be those who have a need to suppress and control others in order to feel powerful

    3. The scars of abuse are not always visible

    Just as a Walk for Life won't cure cancer, neither will V-Day eradicate abuse and violence but what it will do is point the spotlight at the issue so it can never fall into the shadows where it exists unacknowledged.

    We're all aware that abuse exists, we mutter about the sad state of affairs, gossip about it among friends, sometimes blame the abused for their circumstances, deny it could happen to ourselves but agree that something should be done. The problem is, very little is done. Even if we want to help alter the course, we wonder how we, as individuals, can affect a change beyond the scope of our immediate circle. Well, maybe we can't - as individuals - but collectively, we might. Each of us holds the spotlight in our hands and have the power to point it in the direction of that which is unacceptable. We do it here in our little community by discussing rights and liberties and freedoms. We discuss realities and share our knowledge - why not this this reality and this knowledge.

    And.......I remember quite vividly when a former member was shown the door after describing his preferred method of keeping his wife in line. The men and women of SM were unapologetic as we collectively expressed our disdain and decided that we would not stand by as silent witnesses. This person was located in another country - there really was nothing we could do from here except shine that spotlight and we did.
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  16. TheEconomist

    TheEconomist Creighton Bluejay

    Thursdays in Black

    Another good cause! I was part of this in college, in fact it is how I met my wife.
    chelloveck likes this.
  17. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart,Deadman Walking, Snow Monkey Moderator

    If one wants to make Political Statements, on ANY issue, that is their RIGHT, at least here in the USA. HOWEVER, Political Statements do NOT fix any issue. They just show the one making the Statement, has an OPINION, on the issue, and that is ALL it does. Opinions are like Body Parts.... "Everyone has them. "HOWEVER, One humans Opinion, has no more validity, in my view, than any other humans Opinion, on the same issue. If an issue gets brought to light, by One Person, and many others express that same opinion, then a Popular Movement, may be generated. The thing is, None of that makes a tittle of difference, in STOPPING the ACTION that is the heart of the Issue, itself. To do that, it takes Individuals, to actually TAKE ACTION, when they SEE these things happen, Personally. All the Candle Light Vigils, and Group Sings, do NOT STOP ACTIONS. they only allow folks to feel good, about their Opinions, without having to take any ACTION, on the Issue, themselves. This is my problem with such outward displays. It requires nothing in the way of ACTION, by individuals. I do not condone Violence against Women, and children. I DO, personally, take ACTION when I encounter such behavior in my presence. I have done so in the past, and I will continue to do so in the future, PERIOD. This is how I choose to express my Opinion on this issue, by taking ACTION, when it is in front of me. I have no use for, such humans, that engage in such actions, and I let them KNOW, personally, what my Opinion is, of such Actions. I am just ONE, and I do not need to justify, my own ACTIONS to anyone, but myself, and and my GOD..... and maybe Momma..... ...... YMMV....
  18. TheEconomist

    TheEconomist Creighton Bluejay


    I hear you. It is important to take ACTION when you see injust happening and you have the ability to do something. The problem is that physical abuse will usually happen in private when citizens cannot see and therefore cannot act. If you look at the Global fight against AIDS, they say that the dollar for dollar money is best spent to raise AWARENESS as opposed to trying to treat and cure AIDS. By raising awareness about how you can contract it and the harms of the disease many believe they can slowly stop the spread and scope of the infection.

    The same can be used for abuse. The more people that learn that it is unacceptable to be abusive; the more women that learn where and how to ask for help; the more people that learn how to prevent abuse and when a relationship is bad the better! This is all done through raising AWARENESS!

    Best Regards
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  19. wrc223

    wrc223 Monkey+

    I spent 12 years as a career street medic. Before that I spent 4 years as a volunteer EMT. Even to this day I am a volunteer EMT. I have worked both the urban city and rural country. One thing remains constant, violence happens to women and girls WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much. There is no reason for the outright abuse I have seen over the years. The lengths I have seen "men" go to inflict further harm both physically and verbally/mentally, not only her, but to anyone trying to come to her aid. I have been spit at, swung at, kicked (he was already in handcuffs), threatened....hell one evening we were called for a woman fallen in the park parking lot with a possible broken ankle. We arrived on scene to a well lit parking lot with a woman sitting up against a car. We approached w/ due caution and there was nobody in the car. No other vehicles around. I approach the woman who was obviously beat up. I called for PD (priority 1) and while initiating care, a vehicle pulled into the lot. It was her "man" headdin back with some friends. My assumption was to finish her off. My partner and I grabbed her up and ran her to the rig. All three of us were in the rig while three guys proceeded to kick hit and break our ambulance. PD showed up and they scattered. I'll save ya all the details.
    One guy beating up another guy is one thing. At least there is a somewhat level playing field. Beating up a woman half your size or a kid? Sometimes I wish we could exact a more fitting justice to some of the crap I have seen but unfortunately I must follow the law of the land and let the system do it's job. The system works so well to protect....................


    Couldnt quite finish that last spot without having a little barf trickle up the back of my throat.

    Back to your regularly scheduled thread already in progress.
    chelloveck likes this.
  20. RightHand

    RightHand Been There, Done That RIP 4/15/21 Moderator Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    There are women who live in fear, all the time. We see them in our neighborhoods, in our churches, in the stores we frequent, in the schools our children attend, and even in our own families. Some times we recognize the fear in their eyes but too often, they have learned to become masters of illusion and hide behind a smile, a pretty dress, an expensive car... We may never see their bruises or hear their tears but that doesn't mean they don't exist.

    These women, and men too, usually don't ask for much, no more than most of us take as our right - a home that is a sanctuary and not just walls that hide them from the rest of the world, a partner who will protect them instead of violating them, people who will look through the facade they wear and reach out to them. What we all need to know is that their spirits are beaten as surely as their bodies and the spirit is harder to heal.

    Each of us have a choice about how closely we want to peer into the ugliness of abuse and how far we are willing to reach out.
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