Toilet Paper usage by Gender, or Mars and Venus

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by tacmotusn, Aug 24, 2013.


  1. tacmotusn

    tacmotusn Mosquito Sailor

    After I recently submitted a comment on the shoutbox about my tracking of Toilet Paper usage over a 3 year period I received some feedback about how my computations most likely were totally skewed as they were male gender specific. No names will be released due to possible irate individuals who may be embarrassed by my renewed extensive research into the matter.
    .
    It seems Males only have to wipe about one third of the time when they go to the bathroom, where as Females have to wipe every time they go to the bathroom. I have reconsidered this and agree that that is true.
    .
    However that is not the end of the matter. It gets worse.
    .
    One only has to closely examine the areas to be wiped to realize that even in a best case scenario a Female has 3 times the Area to wipe ..... or More!
    .
    This means, Where as a single Male might easily make 30 rolls of toilet paper last a year, and added a second male into the calculation would only double the consumption to 60 rolls per year. That calculation is totally insufficient if a Female is added, because she will use at least 270 rolls per year herself.
    .
    This is not an exaggeration, but instead a simple logical mathematical equation.
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    Further Feedback on this issue may be directed to my IDGAF File. Thank you for your time.
     
  2. STANGF150

    STANGF150 Knowledge Seeker

    Tac, yer numbers off fer Males! To put it crudely I poop once at most twice a day, regular as a clock I am, but I piss at least every two hours or more often. So yeah I don't need tp every 3rd visit LoL
     
  3. HK_User

    HK_User A Productive Monkey is a Happy Monkey Site Supporter

    A bit simplestic "One only has to closely examine the areas to be wiped to realize that even in a best case scenario a Female has 3 times the Area to wipe ..... or More!" since patting is a better description of what women do in one area.

    YMMV
     
  4. tacmotusn

    tacmotusn Mosquito Sailor

    Blotting vs wiping. Hmmmmm, I had not considered that. Nor had I considered male bladder pressure changes for age and other internal situations. I guess patting/blotting would be more efficient use of TP for females in the area in question as repeated wiping might lead to more and more wiping until additional blotting/patting would be required. Yup, Mars and Venus indeed. Some things are just mysteries of the Universe best left alone. I think for post SHTF I will have 4 cases of TP stashed in 2 concealed, and buried plastic 55 gallon drums just for the males in the tribe.
     
  5. mysterymet

    mysterymet Monkey+++

    Just record your tp usage Per month find the average and predict max usage to 3 standard deviations then x by 12.
     
    Brokor likes this.
  6. VHestin

    VHestin Farm Chick

    As a female, there are also monthly issues which affect TP usage that should be factored in.
     
  7. cdnboy66

    cdnboy66 Monkey++

    my sister oftens asks people she has just met if they are a folder or scruncher

    these methodology differences should be considered as they will net a different average squares per wipe
     
    Brokor likes this.
  8. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    So, track your normal usage over a three month basis, X4 will give a good guess per year.
     
  9. HK_User

    HK_User A Productive Monkey is a Happy Monkey Site Supporter

    The use of 1000 sheets per roll, aka septic tank paper, will show a decreased need for the total needed.
     
  10. mysterymet

    mysterymet Monkey+++

    John Wayne toilet paper... Doesn't take crap off of anyone.
     
    JABECmfg, VHestin and kellory like this.
  11. HK_User

    HK_User A Productive Monkey is a Happy Monkey Site Supporter

    Not if you select the right type. Anyway Marines can do it with one piece of paper and have a way to clean their finger nail.
     
  12. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    Why, if I were a Forrester or engaged in the paper milling business, I might find your use of toilet paper of some interest. I might suggest that such an addiction will eventually run to crisis and pages will disappear from books, news papers will no longer wrap fish, and corn will be eaten more on the cob. I much prefer a bidet and a reusable wash cloth.
     
    Hammerhead likes this.
  13. mysterymet

    mysterymet Monkey+++

    I prefer my TP made from hardwood old growth forests!
     
    VisuTrac likes this.
  14. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Women & cats will do as they please, and Men & dogs should just relax and get used to the idea. :p
     
    VisuTrac likes this.
  15. VHestin

    VHestin Farm Chick

    Just for toilet use, our average is about a roll or two per week. We also use TP for Kleenex though.

    Edited addition: Forgot to mention, our usage also depends on what brand we use. Some require more or less sheets per wipe.
     
  16. JABECmfg

    JABECmfg multi-useless Site Supporter

    Looks like the lady monkeys could use all the help they can get on this thread, so...

    We should factor cold and flu season into the equation. Theoretically, TP used for blowing your nose should be the same between males and females... so if TP used for it's primary purpose is X for males and 9X for females, we should add a constant Y to both figures, to reflect the secondary use of blowing your nose. It does nothing to change the difference between male and female usage, but does even it out a bit proportionally. For example - if X = 30 and Y = 10, then the difference is still 240, but female usage is now only 7 times that of a male, instead of 9.

    Sorry ladies, that probably wasn't much help, but it was the best I could come up with...
     
    CRC likes this.
  17. tacmotusn

    tacmotusn Mosquito Sailor

    Yes but you can never break them of the habit of licking their fingers. :)
     
    oldawg and HK_User like this.
  18. HK_User

    HK_User A Productive Monkey is a Happy Monkey Site Supporter

    Bingo
     
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