Toilet paper

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by oil pan 4, May 1, 2020.

  1. oil pan 4

    oil pan 4 Monkey+++

    One of the things I didn't like about my toilet paper stash was it's relatively low density. Especially since it's not "food".
    I had an idea of what the answer was but was unable to find it. Well the toilet paper shortage may have solved it.
    Core less toilet paper. Is now widely available.
    I'm also storing it with rat poison blocks hidden back behind the tp where dogs and little kids can't get to it.
    SB21, Gator 45/70 and techsar like this.
  2. Brokor

    Brokor Live Free or Cry Moderator Site Supporter+++ Founding Member

    I bought a bidet, which cuts my TP use down to only a fraction of what it was previously.
    It won't work in times of power outage when the grid goes down, but by that time, squat pooping ought to be implemented, and one does not need much to wipe in that event.
    SB21, Gator 45/70 and techsar like this.
  3. ditch witch

    ditch witch I do stupid crap, so you don't have to

    Got a bum gun. The first time the Mr used it his nuts went up into his chest. Water is a little cold, hehe. Save a fortune on tp now tho.
  4. snake6264

    snake6264 Combat flip flop douchebag

    I bought two cases of 60 rolls at the out set and 2- 24 packs since so not to worried about it since its just me and the wife
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  5. Gator 45/70

    Gator 45/70 Monkey+++

    What's T.P. ?
    SB21 likes this.
  6. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    Poison ivy in disguise.
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  7. SB21

    SB21 Monkey+++

    Either I'm regular,, irregular,, a freak ,, oddball ,,, and not that I really care , because I'm getting along just fine. But ,, just how much damn crapping paper does a person use ??? Since this whole damned virus thing started ,,, I have used maybe 2 1/2 rolls of crapping paper ,,, and I shit you not ,,, I dropped 1 whole roll in the crapper by accident. So ,, I'm thinking I can get by on 1 roll per month ,, and that's normal for me ,, so what the hell are these people going to do with a 5-10 year supply of crapping paper ???? How much freaking paper does 1 person need ????
    Gator 45/70 and 3cyl like this.
  8. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart Snow Monkey Moderator

    Women use a whole lot more than one roll of TP, a month... Don’t take my word for it.... Marry one and see...
    Gator 45/70, Alf60, TXKajun and 7 others like this.
  9. Wildbilly

    Wildbilly Monkey++

    Don't go all Sheryl Crow on us and claim that you only need ONE square per visit!o_O Some days you need a few feet, some days a few yards, then half a roll, and ...then sometime you need a shower!:(:eek::oops:
  10. Tempstar

    Tempstar Praeclarum Site Supporter+

    I still have 24 rolls individually vacuum sealed (makes them really flat) from around 1995 or so, when I bought my first vacuum sealer. I also have 3 packs of a T-shirt, socks, and underwear sealed nice and flat as well, just as old.
    Never have had to give any thought to unsealing those rolls. Never understood anyone who runs out of something before thinking about buying more.
  11. 3M-TA3

    3M-TA3 Cold Wet Monkey Site Supporter++

    You can always raise rabbits if TP runs low
    magicfingers, Gator 45/70 and SB21 like this.
  12. 3M-TA3

    3M-TA3 Cold Wet Monkey Site Supporter++

    I've been considering that, but the cold water is why I haven't gone ahead. The ones I've looked at tell you to hook up to the hot water supply, but it would take forever to get warm through that tiny 1/4" feed and then when it gets there it's eventually going to get HOT. Neither sounds all that great to me.

    Due to my diet and being a man, I go through a roll every 2-3 weeks, the Mrs., though.... completely different story. I might be better off buying my own paper mill.
  13. Lancer

    Lancer TANSTAFL! Site Supporter+++

    Stay out of the cheap TexMex places. Cuts usage amazingly...
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  14. 3cyl

    3cyl Monkey++

    Most people don't realize you can use both sides.
    Gator 45/70, Lancer, VisuTrac and 2 others like this.
  15. oldawg

    oldawg Monkey+++

    o_O :cautious:
    Gator 45/70 likes this.
  16. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    hehehe. Well, feel free --- Just don't neglect the smear factor.
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  17. ditch witch

    ditch witch I do stupid crap, so you don't have to

    Honestly it isn't that bad when you are expecting it, but it does get progressively colder if you keep it running. Then again I will stand in snow barefoot in my underwear and be fine so I may not be a reliable witness to how cold it really is when applied to the nethers.

    Still beats a corncob!
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  18. Wildbilly

    Wildbilly Monkey++

    It doesn't surprise ANY of us that you have stood in snow barefooted in your underwear. Got to go snake!!
    Gator 45/70, SB21 and smithcp2002 like this.
  19. mysterymet

    mysterymet Monkey+++

    Yes, we do.
    Gator 45/70 likes this.
  20. TXKajun

    TXKajun Monkey+++

    Aw, c'mon folks, after all, Nancy Peelosi bellieves you can pick up a turd by the clean end! *sarcasm off*
    Gator 45/70 likes this.
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