TOTM September 2015 - Burnout

My wife was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's about seven or eight years ago and we moved to our BOL about three years ago. She was doing pretty good, but the disease started affecting her about the time we moved.
The last year or so it got truly bad and last April I admitted her to a memory care facility. It wasn't what I wanted, but without going into detail there really wasn't much choice.
I was exhausted caring for her 24/7 but felt incredibly guilty and increasingly helpless and frustrated. In that last year I had two heart attacks and triple bypass surgery so I wasn't doing so well myself.
There are really no words for all this and what I've written is lame but seeing this disease ravage her is killing me.
I don't know if I'm burned out on prepping but I just don't care anymore.

 

@GOG I am not going to like what you wrote but I thank you for sharing. My heart goes out to you and your wife. My step-Grandma requires 24/7 care and it consumes the family as they take shifts. Can't imagine how you did it alone. Guilt is going to happen but don't let it destroy you because I am sure your wife would not want that.

PS- I thought about you this summer with all the fires out West. I know a few years back you had one that came close. I was hoping you were safe.

 

Thanks MM. We've been blessed so far and no fires came close. Fire season isn't over yet, but I think we'll be okay. The essentials are packed and ready to go just in case.

 

My wife makes those. That's all we use for washing dishes 95% of the time.

 

I would like to see your weaving chainmail! Cool.

 

I would dare say that most things can wait. That way, you can do stuff on Hawaiian time. Gotta have a life, not just prep for one. I hope that isn't heresy here.

 

Nice house.

 

Malama Pono, @GOG. Providing care is hard hard work. A true labor of love.

 

It is so hard to stay optimistic and focused when involved with end of life care. The rest of the family tries to help, but it really is a very personal thing and I don't know how to keep from getting burned out. Been there, done that, and have the t-shirt. I hate to even think what it would be like without all the supports we have in place now.
For me prepping is making life as comfortable as I can for now and the future. I love spending time in my greenhouse and I know that I could buy most of the things I grow for less than I spend on inputs, never mind the time, but I get a sense of peace and contentment working there that I get very few other places. I hope that most of the members of this forum have a place somewhere that gives that feeling and I think one of the goals in life should to maximize the time you spend in that place. If that place would help if TSTF, then I guess it is prepping, but I think that to me the process is more important than the goal. We heat with wood and it has saved us a lot of money over the last twenty years and I love the financial independence it gives us and enjoy the security of not being dependent on the system. We had a bad ice storm in NH a few years ago and were without power for 14 days. The house was warm, wood heat, we had enough light, lamps and solar leds, the water heater and stove are propane and worked, the generator and stored fuel supplied power for the refrig and water for a few hours a day and we were comfortable, toilet worked, shower worked, microwave worked. Several of our neighbors were in shelters as their houses were impossible to live in without electricity and it would have taken a large generator to supply the power they needed. About 10 days into the power outage, the wife said that we had to improve our preps, and needed to get a diesel generator for more power and more fuel storage, as the ice cream was getting soft in the freezer. I don't know if that would be called prepping but it is comforting and makes life more enjoyable now. I have friends that hunt and fish, camp out, build things as hobbies, do blacksmithing, restore cars, farm or have orchards, and I am sure that they would be good resources if the SHTF, but they are friends with mutual interests first and most importantly.

 

I loved reading all the posts. We all have come a long way and some of US, needed to readjust the need / why to prep and how much more we can build,buy, teach or share.
I started at the ripe age of 10 / 11. It was the early 60's Midwest Tornado outbreak that got me going along with seeing how out Mormon neighbor bailed out the Community we lived in.He went from Odd to Hero, quickly.
I joined Red Cross in 63 and left them in 2003. I was a 1st Aid instructor and a Disaster Response Specialist.
In 65, I along my best friend watched as his trailer home burned, his sick mom was still inside and did not get out.
I am in my 39th year as a Volunteer Firefighter/ 1st Responded because I saw the need of Community service.
In 73, I became a Reserve Police officer and have been a Town, County and currently a Tribal Marshal.
I just wanted to help kids as these officers helped me as I grew up without Parents.
In 85, I joined the Emergency Management Agency in my County and left after 25 years as the Director.
I actually was hired for my experience instead of being a family member of a County Commissioner.
My D.O.D. experience ended after 39 yrs 7months. I have seen first hand the horrors of war and its coming here.
So all this said, I have spent my life going into places sane people are trying to get out of OR wish they had gotten out sooner- Katrina comes to mind, They is never enough stuff in my world. Helping those that need help, your Tribe, Family, Community and Strangers what ever you chose to call yourselves, you need lots of stuff.
I have been teaching Survival and Emergency Preparedness for 5 decades and YES, I have burnt out out a few times. I just had to stop and take a break and remember, It is no longer about me, I am of of age.
It is about our children's children, our future as the greatest Country in the world. I teach thru out the American ReDoubt and the reward I get is the young person who could be anywhere else with friends, but they chose to be with me in a class- So they can learn and carry on OUR ( Survival Monkey )work, to keep our future generations safe, trained and ready for what ever may come our /their way. It is them that keeps me from being burnt out.
Be Prepared - Be Prayerful - Be Thankful - You are an American
RangerRick
Automatic Survivor - President / Instructor
North Idaho

 

Hi. My name is NVBeav and I too have been burnt out.
@GOG , keep up the faith to the end; wish I could encourage you more!
Nowadays I'm limiting my time spent on "endless" reading. Gotta keep up with some of the depressing news to know what the other side is doing. Finding that food rights are of equal importance to our 2nd Amendment rights. Don't ever trust the gubbermint dietary guidelines. Don't believe the AMA, ACS, AHA, MSF, ADA and a host of other "foundations" that make money off of the misery of others. There is more, but I've got other things to do this afternoon :^)

 

I have found it hard to keep traction over the last few years or so. I am not new to prepping but after having to move from Juneau AK to Utah on somewhat short notice I have had to start over. I could only afford to ship one heaping pallet of my life back with me. this is like round 3 for me. in some ways its nice. being able to know exactly what I need and knowing where to get the brands I like. but I feel like Ive done this so many times before I cant hardly stand to do it again. I found that if I go in search of something new every weekend and having a set budget to spend on the new mystery item has made it fun and interesting again. finding the best prep of the week on x amount of money. yard sales, pawn shops, and window shopping the big box retailers. Ive had to find the spark again that got me prepping in the first place.