Trade school, College, or just classes?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by BailyTheFox, Apr 23, 2017.

  1. Mindgrinder

    Mindgrinder Karma Pirate Ninja|RIP 12-25-2017

    Post an ad in the Fort Mcmurray newspaper and craigslist.
    Lotsa Red Seal folks up there lost their jobs over the last couple years...
    Granted...they're a spendy bunch and quite used to making big big big $.
    GrayGhost likes this.
  2. Mindgrinder

    Mindgrinder Karma Pirate Ninja|RIP 12-25-2017

    Go work on a farm.
  3. GrayGhost

    GrayGhost Monkey++

    That's a long way from Colorado.
    Mindgrinder and Motomom34 like this.
  4. Tevin

    Tevin Monkey+++

    I'm going to depart from the prevailing advice and say do not join the military.

    The armed forces are for dedicated, highly motivated people who genuinely want to be there and enlisted for the right reasons.

    It is not a default dumping ground for those who are bored and have nothing else going on, a trade school, or a place for young people to "discover" themselves. Although the military can be a remedy for the preceding situations, it should be so only as a positive side effect of a military career, not the purpose of it.

    At your age you should have more of a clue. You tried college and it didn't work. You're sort-of interested in the trades. You'e sort-of interested in crafts such as leather working. You sound really wishy-washy. And I can assure you with 100% accuracy that living with mom for hundred bucks a month bears no resemblance at all to actual adulthood.

    My suggestions:
    1. Find a way to work 40 hours a week. Whether that is one full time job or piecing together a few part time does not matter. Perform forty hours of paid work every week, even if it's odd jobs for cash or a low wage shit job you hate.

    2. Move out. If needed, room with friends to split rent and expenses. If you need to work more hours to pay the bills, so be it. Find a way to make it happen.

    You will quickly grow tired of living hand to mouth and sharing an apartment, and that will be the motivator for you to find something meaningful that you can be excited about.

    But trust me: Your future will never happen as long as you're not working or going to school or supporting yourself or doing anything worthwhile. No one ever became successful by philosophizing about the meaning of life on the internet from mom's basement. Stop with the excuses and go do something.

    And as an aside, I'm a little disappointed in some the cream-puff replies to this topic. I expected a little more tough love from the SM crew.
    Mindgrinder, ghrit and GrayGhost like this.
  5. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    OK, Baily, here's my personal last shot. So far, both in your threads a year or so ago, and in this one, you have taken a bye on every suggestion offered. Good excuses are nothing more than excuses. You don't seem to care what you do, and I see no evidence or preference for dirty of clean jobs. You say you don't think dot mil will take you, but you do NOT know that without talking to the recruiters. Do that first. If then, for some reason you can't get in, take the civil service exam and take the first offer you get. Then get out of the house. Dot mil will motivate you to do something. Civil service will also motivate you, tho' maybe not in a good direction. Either one will teach you something.

    Your brother and parents are enabling you to dodge responsibility for yourself. None of us here at SM mind helping, don't misunderstand. But at the same time, none of us are qualified to drag your negativism and self dislike out of you. For that, professional help may or may not work, even if it hasn't so far. Get some (more.)
  6. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    I'm all tough loved out, Tevin.....I've used up my supply of it on alt right warriors, Trumpophiles, and fundamentalist evangelical conservatives....however, having said that....

    Why not hook up with a group of intafa operatives, and spend 40-60 hours a week taking it to white supremacist, anti LGBT Islamophobes....

    Baily...that should sharpen up your organisational and advocacy skills, keep you gainfully occupied for large slabs of your time, and keep you out of your mother's basement retreat. I guess you could also join whatever 'Occupy' protest is going at the time...that will solve accommodation problems (just a hiking tent is all that's needed), no utilities expenses (street lighting is dirt cheap), and you can enjoy the company of like minded young folk who are motivated by a compelling, noble cause (beating the crap out of neo Nazis and other sundry racist bigots). That should provide some answers to any existential meaning of life, and 'what one may do with it' style questions....Apparently Alinsky is required reading: I can lend you a very dog eared copy of 'Rules for Radicals' for which I have no further use.....
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2017
    Mindgrinder likes this.
  7. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart Snow Monkey Moderator

    The above is about the Dumbest advice, ever given here on the Monkey....
  8. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    I have to say that it is no less useful than "CORK / PLUG / STUFF up the fun zone @theY" also is probably far too subtle an example of satire for some here. ;)

    I am mortally hurt, Bruce, that my eminently sensible advice can be so insensitively dismissed. :cry:
    Brokor and Legion489 like this.
  9. Cruisin Sloth

    Cruisin Sloth Special & Slow

    Baily is a small frame woman .
    Diesel tech is crazy , she would need 50G in tools plus .
    I said MATH & Electrical as in a house wire puller to start !!
    Small frames work !! tools at 200 in full profession !!

    Since im A AME -R,C,F / Diesel Tech / Auto Tech / IBEW to 500 kva .
    Plus ,, I like to experience all
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2017
    Mindgrinder likes this.
  10. BailyTheFox

    BailyTheFox Monkey+

    I know you mean no offense, and even if you did I'd still listen. All perspectives are good. From what I've read so far I'm going to look further into trade schools and volunteering. And as far as avoiding retail goes i'm already ahead there, I work at a dog daycare/boarding facility full time and my resume is suitable enough that I could possibly be hired as a veterinary assistant or kennel assistant at a clinic. Retail would be a last resort, I've seen people around me screwed over constantly by these shitty companies and I couldn't handle that.

    I can't say i'm a people person, although my social skills have improved exponentially in the past year and a half. If I were to do anything medical related it would be for animals. I have built enough skills and references on my resume that I could be a veterinary assistant if I wanted, but long term in that field i'm not sure. I've considered it very heavily since before high school.

    As far as money goes all I want is enough to live comfortably and pay my bills. I don't have big dreams of being a big shot, I don't need that much to be happy. My goal right now is to save what I can .

    Some projects would be great for leather working if it isn't much trouble! As far as the link goes the website is being weird on my phone and I couldn't find a page detailing information.

    Welding would be a valuable skill to learn and i'll look into that. As for getting a job on a framing crew im not sure how well that would work, I know next to nothing and wouldn't want to get in anyones way. Perhaps I could find a way to shadow a crew instead? My dad may know someone.

    I do have a full time job, I have been working for 2 years now. I'm looking into trade schools/classes because I work around 35 hours a week and should have the time for it. Moving back in with my parents is kinda my motivator right now to pick up professional skills and I know It hardly makes me an adult, hence why I said rent gives me only some semblance of adulthood. I was mocking myself there.

    As far as the military/armed forces etc thing goes, I'm just not interested. It would be an extremely bad idea, I am not even remotely stable mentally or physically for it. I know it does great things for some people but given my history I'd probably go downhill fast and hard. It is not for me.

    If it appears that I haven't listened to any advice you or anyone else on here I apologize and want to say that is not the case. I can honestly say that what people have told me here has slowly but surely moved me in a positive direction and helped me improve myself. You guys have given me advice that has helped me be more confident and far less of a little bitch about stuff, though it may not seem like it here. I've never been good at writing what i'm thinking or trying to say.

    My self dislike is also a problem that has been heavily improved upon, the tough love here helps a lot. I'm down in the dumps right now but i'm allready pulling myself out if it. My therapist has done wonders as well.
    Motomom34 likes this.
  11. BailyTheFox

    BailyTheFox Monkey+

    Hmm, I think I'm sensing a wee bit of sarcasm there ;) A little tough love is good though as long as there is constructive criticism to go with it.
    Brokor, Motomom34 and chelloveck like this.
  12. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    Pleased be assured that the sarcasm is not directed at you....but at the notion that 'tough love' is what you need, and that it would be effective or appropriate in your particular case. 'Tough love' is sometimes an appropriate strategy, but it also has to be acknowledged that it can also backfire disastrously. Based on what little, we as forum members know about you, It seems a little silly to make prescriptive judgements as to whether or not 'tough love' would necessarily be the way to go, and its a bit doctrinaire to disparage options that don't have a tough love flavour to them....but then, I'm just a bleeding heart 'liberal' to many here....;)
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2017
    Motomom34 likes this.
  13. Mindgrinder

    Mindgrinder Karma Pirate Ninja|RIP 12-25-2017

    Learn to cook, find a man with a farm and breed.
    Apparently being a housewife is quite rewarding.
  14. BailyTheFox

    BailyTheFox Monkey+

    I'm hoping that was sarcasm. Maybe for some it's rewarding but I'd rather not live like it's the 1950's. And "breeding" is out of the question, I detest children and would be a terrible mother.
    Mindgrinder likes this.
  15. BailyTheFox

    BailyTheFox Monkey+

    I agree, it's best to consider what else may be going on in a persons life before you comment on something. I try to think of things from differing sides of a perspective. The best course is usually in the middle ground rather then the extremes imo.
    chelloveck likes this.
  16. Tevin

    Tevin Monkey+++

    Ok, so you have already fulfilled one of my two suggestions. Very good.

    If you are working 35 hours a week and living at home, that means you should have a lot of disposable income. Save as much as you can and in a few months you'll be able to hit the eject button on mom's place and live on your own. You've been there since December. Other than the $400 (total) you paid your parents, what have you been doing with your money for the last four months?

    I do agree with one of the other replies that you seem to be spinning your wheels and always find a excuse why none of the suggestions (that you asked for) will work.

    I hope you find your way and land on your feet.
  17. BailyTheFox

    BailyTheFox Monkey+

    I actually just moved back in this past week, I rented a space at my brothers up until that point. As far as money goes i'll be saving as much as I can, I had two jobs up until December and then just one part time for awhile until I found my current job. I was supposed to keep that part time job but they just stopped scheduling me. I'll try to stop making excuses and i'm looking into some of the suggestions people gave me.
  18. Motomom34

    Motomom34 Monkey+++

    Well @BailyTheFox meet the trolls. Typical tough love that IMO gets no where. Instead of approaching the situation like a puzzle, you got figure your life out today or get insulted. I think that some here have selective memories. I knew you were working 2 jobs + and getting crapped on by your boss also. I recall that your employer was taking advantage of you and that was your first introduction into that area of employment.

    The things I know about you are:
    loves animals
    is an artist
    likes working with hands and crafting
    gentle person, sweet disposition
    cannot handle extreme mental stress

    Not sure what else at the moment. But somewhere in that list is a profession. I do think welding is interesting. It is a skill that can earn you $$ but also can be done in art form. I see many different welded sculptures, lawn decor etc.. welded wall hanging and such. I know my boss just paid huge for a custom made stair railing, it was a true work of art.
    chelloveck likes this.
  19. Bandit99

    Bandit99 Monkey+++ Site Supporter+

    @BailyTheFox Cheer up! Do not think you are the only person in the world to go through this because most of us has done so. I had no parents and lived with a grandmother that hated my guts so got no motivation there (except being told to 'go play in traffic') and also had to figure things out for myself. Besides, most the time, life will kick you in the direction it wants you to go, one just needs keep your eyes open for the turns and hang on.

    Actually, you are farther along than you think:
    1. You know you need to be looking towards the future and need to be doing something positive in that direction (this is big deal).
    2. You have made the effort to situate yourself to save funds and accommodate a learning environment (another big deal!)
    3. (insert @Motomom34 list here) You know yourself and admit your likes/dislikes, weaknesses/strengths:
    "loves animals
    is an artist
    likes working with hands and crafting
    gentle person, sweet disposition
    cannot handle extreme mental stress"

    Besides, you got something most of us here don't have and would give anything to have it again, something we can't buy or rent or even steal: youth. You have the 'time' to try and fail or succeed, make perfection or make mistakes so give yourself a break. Remember "Don't take life so seriously or you might not get out alive." (I know, silly, but I like it. LOL!)

    So, my recommendation is this...go with the Vet Tech track and see what happens after you have been doing it a year, doesn't have to be for life. As one progresses through life one fine tunes what we want to do with ourselves. I would also take some courses like welding or etc. or anything that is skill related. What the hell, learning is good! Courses can't hurt and you can always use that skill(s) in life, doesn't mean you have to work in it... I wish I had welding and recently looked at taking welding but always wanted to take an EMT course so I might do that instead, not as a profession but just for the knowledge ("Knowledge is power").

    Lastly, I imagine you will be shocked when I tell you that I also am at a point in life where I am not sure what I want to do with it, what to do next. I have been around the world, shot at, spat at, and shat at, financially secure, finally found the love of my life (just had our 12th anniversary), have climbed and skied most of the world and in short have done everything that I ever wanted to do...even jumped out of a perfectly good airplane (a moment of insanity I assure you, can't even claim I was drunk! LOL!) but after 38 years abroad I am now stateside and do not have a clue what to do next. So, even those with university degrees and years of wisdom and experience hit that same wall sometimes.

    So, give yourself a break, it will come in time just keep your eyes open, head on a swivel and move forward, always moving forward, never stop. Besides, there is no stopping, only forwards and backwards, because the world continues to turn when you stop, so push forward, even when it is difficult, always forward. In my opinion, you are on the right track and heading in the right direction and you know yourself and your instincts are good. So, trust them and trust in yourself. Don't be afraid to try and fail. In order to learn how to win, one must first learn how to fail. So....keep moving forward and keep trying and screw the rest because the rest just doesn't matter in the long run...
    chelloveck, Mindgrinder and Motomom34 like this.
  20. Mindgrinder

    Mindgrinder Karma Pirate Ninja|RIP 12-25-2017

    No it was not sarcasm. Here comes the "tough love".

    Firstly - I would never trust a woman who actually "detests children.".
    It's unatural and contrary to your biology. You have a "magic gift" that no man has - you can create LIFE. To chuck this "gift" into the garbage (much like pro-abortion feminists do) is disgusting to me. In fact - you were BORN TO MAKE BABIES. Hundreds of generations of your genes that successfully pro-created did not live and die for you to be a selfish child until your ovaries dry up because "career", because "i'm not good with kids" because "i can't afford it" because "i wouldn't be a good mom" because "it's 2017".

    If you think your mental health issues suck now - just wait. It DOES NOT GET BETTER AS YOU GET OLDER. As a 12 year diagnosed Bipolar II man progressing to Bipolar I who has been on "disability" for 6 months I'm sure it's different for me. I managed a 40+/hr professional work week for more than a decade while getting progressively worse mentally/emotionally. Through all the medication changes, hardcore alcoholism as a coping mechanism, 100's of hrs of CBT etc etc etc. At some point you have to take inventory of your abilities and capacity as a human being. It aint easy...It's especially tough being the eldest of 4 mid/low IQ brothers who look up to me for "work ethics", "toughness" and an employer who is more than willing to spend many thousands of dollars to facilitate a return to work.
    Point being: It's no fun letting down your family or your $50k + extensive benefits employer because you can't be reliable enough to control your moods. It sucks but I understand something aboot you that most here do not. YOU ARE 2 BAD MENTAL DAYS IN A ROW AWAY AT ALL TIMES FROM BEING UNEMPLOYED. Simple as that.

    You are incapable of taking care of yourself or living alone - likely ever.
    $100/month rent? This is much less than 1 single day of pay for me.
    I spend more than this on dog food/treats each month for my single puppy.
    As much as it probably sucks to admit that you NEED to be taken care of - i suspect it's a fact of life for you. In my not so humble opinion, the only way you can make a semi-independent life for yourself would be to follow nature, submit to a GOOD MAN who is willing to put up with all the crap that would come with being YOUR MAN. The trick would be to make it worth his love by giving him babies, allowing him to be a real man and provide for you.

    1950's - when family values still mattered, men where men, women could vote or work.
    2017 - when LGTBQ, race and social justice are more important than reality.
    If you think this is "progress", you're not mentally ill. You're regressively leftarded.

    Lastly - i don't know you or much aboot you at all....but I AM very intelligent and recognize mental illness when I see it. Living with it, I'm also keenly aware that I will never again be a "Normie" like the vast majority of the folks on here - and that's fine. It's something we have in common but I've got 10+ years more experience with than you. If you'd like to engage in a conversation aboot psych drugs I'd be willing to do so via PM.

    If this post triggers you = just ignore it.


    Last edited: Apr 25, 2017
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