'True' Friendship None of that Sissy Crap Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, But never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship. 1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against The sorry bastard who made you sad. 2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you. 3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in. 4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get. 5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining. 6. When you are confused -- I will use little words. 7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well Again. I don't want whatever you have. 8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass. 9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'. Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, But only you can feel the true warmth.