Turkey Slaughtering

Discussion in 'Turf and Surf Hunting and Fishing' started by NVBeav, Oct 21, 2015.


  1. NVBeav

    NVBeav Monkey+++

    [I put this is the wrong spot - sorry.]
    I've just recently assisted in killing, plucking, eviscerating, and cooking turkeys -- no pictures or links, but a few words of wisdom:
    • Don't get in too big of a hurry and cut your finger - it really hurts and no one want your blood on their meal
    • Keep the dogs away. Really.
    • It's just like doing a chicken, except for the gland on the turkey tail
    • Watch YT videos of turkey and chicken processing ("Polyface poultry evisceration with Joel Salitan" is highly recommended)
    • If you see a really skinny turkey that's about 2 to 3 lbs, here's why...
    Christmas is Coming - A Turkey's Tale

    When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
    My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop,

    Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
    And he told me there was something that I had to know;

    His look and his tone I will always remember,
    When he told me of the horrors of..... Black November;

    "Come about August, now listen to me,
    Each day you'll get six meals instead of just three,

    "And soon you'll be thick, where once you were thin,
    And you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin;

    "And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,
    In'll burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head;

    "Then she'll pluck out all your feathers so you're bald 'n pink,
    And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' in the sink;

    "And then comes the worst part" he said not bluffing,
    "She'll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing".

    Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
    I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat,

    And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
    I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked;

    I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
    High roughage salads, juice and diet cola;

    And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
    I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes;

    I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
    And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;

    But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
    As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;

    And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
    I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;

    So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap;
    I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap;

    She held me today, while sewing and humming,
    And smiled at me and said "Christmas is coming..."
     
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2015
  2. ParseRaider

    ParseRaider Monkey

    Lord!
    I hated raising turkeys. I think from what i gathered is that the reason mine were so dam mean was that I did not raise them and they were wild almost when we inherited them.
    Chickens were easy to tend compared to a 20# turkey in need of it's spurs being trimmed or time to de-mite them or whatever........... And they seem to see pretty good at night. too. I never could climb a tree at night like we could the chickens to work their ills.
    Take my word for it ..................... a chicken hurts when he spurs you but being flogged by a turkey is like comparing the might of the USA with that of say Estonia ............
    Mike
     
  3. Ganado

    Ganado Monkey+++

    Wringing a chicken neck is alot easier as well when it comes time to slaughter

    mike...geese are meaner than turkeys. just saying
     
    pearlselby and VisuTrac like this.
  4. Dont

    Dont Just another old gray Jarhead Monkey Site Supporter

    The geese I had where on the woosy side and would not stay out of the woods..

    Cayotes enjoyed them..
     
    Ganado likes this.
  5. NVBeav

    NVBeav Monkey+++

    It's not that I felt guilty for off-ing the turkey's, but this group was so darn lovable :^( My sister, the one who raised them, helped me keep it in perspective by giving God thanks for his beautiful creation. Once you'd catch one of the critters, they really seemed to enjoy being carried around in nice warm arms. We've already eaten a few meals from one of them -- the absolute best turkey I've ever had, even without injecting with a butter syringe.

    BTW, Mike, are you the same "Mike" from the poem?
    :whistle:
     
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  6. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    Turkeys naturally roost in trees at night. And their eyesight is every bit as good as an eagle's. If they had a decent sense of smell, you'd never get a wild one. The tiniest hint of brass and they are GONE.
    Mighty tasty though, but I'm forbidden to cook one.....:rolleyes:
     
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