Twas the night before Christmas Twas the night before Christmas and all through San Quentin, the Cripps were protesting, and liberals were ventin'. The cyanide hung by the chamber with care, in hopes that the reaper soon would be there. The inmates were nestled all snug in their bed, except for Old Tookie, who soon would be dead. And me with my beer mug, dressed warm in my flannel, had curled up to watch it, on the Fox News Channel. I set up my TIVO to record the news station, and thoroughly loved the momentous occasion. It seemed lady justice had gotten her way, and that there would be one less savage today. When outside the jail there arose such a clatter, the cameras had turned to see what was the matter. When what to my civilized eyes did appear, but a lineup of actors, all liberal, half queer. The misguided freaks drew some curious looks, as they proclaimed his innocence, clutching his books. The tears then flew out from Sarandon's eyes, as she nominated him again for the Nobel Peace Prize. The actors were tethered to an ACLU sleigh, all towing the line of the urban decay. On Asner, on Penn, on liberal cop-haters, On Sharpton, on Jesse and all other race-baiters. Then at 00:30 all curled up like a beetle, Tookie cried like a baby as they gave him the needle. When up from the actors there arose such a cry, they had failed in their mission, and Tookie DID DIE !! I heard Bill O'Reilly say, as I turned out my light, Merry Christmas to all ... there was justice tonight !!