Twas the Night Before Inauguration!

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Mountainman, Jan 18, 2017.

  1. Mountainman

    Mountainman Großes Mitglied Site Supporter+++

    Twas the night before Inauguration, and up in the tower,
    The Donald reflected on his newfound power.
    The conservative masses had come out in force,
    And delivered a victory that would chart a new course.

    The snowflakes were shell-shocked with tears in their eyes,
    The media lied to them . . . What a surprise.
    They had been promised a Hillary win,
    But the criminal Clinton took one on the chin.
    And though from all corners celebrities flew,
    They made no impression, for they hadn’t a clue.
    They talked about climate, racism, and such,
    And they made up good stories . . . But didn’t know much.
    The fake news and ignorance came at a cost,
    And they can’t understand all the reasons they lost.
    They blame it on Comey and Bernie and Vlad,
    But fail to acknowledge the one that was bad.

    Yes, Hillary Clinton, in many ways flawed,
    Was her own biggest hurdle toward getting the nod.
    The campaign exposed her corruptness and greed,
    And her speeches were punch-less as ten dollar weed.

    So out in the streets there arose such a clatter,
    It was Soros-paid protestors and Black Lives Matter.
    With cities to pillage and windows to smash,
    They knew not the issues, but needed the cash.
    Eight years of Obama had given them cause,
    To expect a replacement of their Santa Claus.
    But soon the protestors will feel the pain,
    When the wheels fall off of the old gravy train.

    And now all the snowflakes are riddled with fear,
    Upset and offended by things that they’ll hear.
    The cocoa and crayons will help for a while,
    But fact-based opinions will soon cramp their style.
    I originally supported, and voted, for Cruz,
    In the end, I would vote for whoever they choose.
    He wasn’t my first choice, but soon I would cede,
    The one they call Trump is the one that we need.

    I saw him on TV in front of a crowd,
    He spoke about veterans, it made me feel proud.
    He spoke about energy, safety, and jobs,
    Taking this country back from the Washington snobs.

    He was dressed in Armani, all tailored and neat,
    And the Brunos he wore made the outfit complete.
    For a man of his vintage, he seemed rather fit,
    And he looked presidential, I have to admit.

    His eyes glowed like embers, his smile was the best,
    And his hair was the color of my old hunting vest.
    His love for this country was on full display,
    And his actions spoke louder than his words could say.
    He thanked all his voters, and before he was gone,
    Saved thousands of jobs while Obama looked on.
    The fate of this country left nothing to chance,
    So, he filled out his cabinet weeks in advance.

    The men he had chosen were of the same mind,
    Let’s set the bar high, and not lead from behind.
    He picked up his phone as he rose from his seat,
    With a flick of his finger, he sent out this tweet;
    “Now Mattis!, now Kelly!’ now Sessions! And Pruitt!
    On Perry! On Flynn, You’re the ones who can do it.
    Start lifting restrictions and building the wall,

    Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”;
    The roar of his audience rose from the stands,
    He kissed all their babies and shook all their hands.
    He answered their questions and calmed all their fears,
    They knew it would be a fantastic four years.
    Then he jumped in his limo, and off to his jet,
    A fellow that Liberals won’t soon forget.
    He sent one more tweet as the evening expired;
    “Happy Inauguration to all,
    hank2222, Gator 45/70, duane and 19 others like this.
  2. Ura-Ki

    Ura-Ki Grudge Monkey

    I wanna recored every nano second of Trump telling Obummer "Your Fired" Be gone with Him!!!
  3. Aeason

    Aeason Monkey

    I think all monkeys will like this except the one leaving the White House
  4. Motomom34

    Motomom34 Monkey+++

    I am excited for inauguration day. I hope that cool heads prevail. We have code pink and others [stirpot] that will be met with the biker groups that have sworn to keep the peace. As of today Disruptj20, they have scaled back their inauguration protest either due to lack of interest or because they are scared of people on Harleys. Instead, today they are throwing a Queer Dance Party (their words) outside of Pence's home.
    Gay Activists Are Throwing a Queer Dance Party Outside Mike Pence's House - VICE
  5. DKR

    DKR Raconteur of the first stripe

    Might it be the 13,000 US troops in the city?
  6. Ura-Ki

    Ura-Ki Grudge Monkey

    Yea, I'm betting that might have a little bit of effect on the potential for trouble! NOTE, might not be such a bad idea to have this sort of deal in the future, just as long as it doesn't go Kent State!
  7. Yard Dart

    Yard Dart Vigilant Monkey Moderator

    As a personal security note.... several groups across the nation are planning local protest events in major metro areas on Friday. If one is in those areas.... don't forget your personal protection tools. ;)
    Aeason, Ura-Ki, Thunder5Ranch and 2 others like this.
  8. Thunder5Ranch

    Thunder5Ranch Monkey+++

  9. Mountain mama

    Mountain mama Monkey

    Aeason and UncleMorgan like this.
  10. Yard Dart

    Yard Dart Vigilant Monkey Moderator

    Aeason, Ura-Ki, Legion489 and 3 others like this.
  11. Mountainman

    Mountainman Großes Mitglied Site Supporter+++

    Aeason, UncleMorgan and Mountain mama like this.
  12. Legion489

    Legion489 Rev. 2:19 Banned

  13. Motomom34

    Motomom34 Monkey+++

    Rightside Broadcasting is streaming live for most of the Inauguration. You can find it here:
    Mountainman and Yard Dart like this.
survivalmonkey SSL seal warrant canary