[SIZE=+1]TWO COWS[/SIZE] <small> VARIOUS FR THREADS ^ | 19 DECEMBER 2008 | FReeper Bobalu </small> <small>Posted on Friday, December 19, 2008 6:30:43 PM by Extremely Extreme Extremist</small> SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away... TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. SURREALISM You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead. AN INVESTMENT BANK You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide. A GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You decide to have lunch. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them. A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You worship them. A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad. AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the s--t out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy... AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive... A POLISH CORPORATION What are cows? MEXICAN CORPORATION You have two cows They are located in Ciudad Juarez They somehow cross the U.S./Mexico border You cross into the border and claim both the land and cows The cows receive U.S. taxpayer benefits for the milk they produce, while the milk goes back to Mexican residents AN ISLAMIC CORPORATION You have two cows. You commit suicide Because Islamic law forbids you being associated with cows BRAZILIAN CORPORATION You have two cows And DAYUM....do they got "back"... CANADIAN CORPORATION Eh...you have two cows Dis too cold to produce melk from these eh cows Yet's jus sell dem to da yoooesss.... AFRICAN CORPORATION You have two cows They are both thin and sick You ask the world to send you more cows The despotic dictator takes the cows to feed himself and his army and throw the bones and skin to the starving masses while television crews demand that the West "do something"... REDNECK OWNERS You have two cows. You and your buddies tip them over at night And use them in the county fair SUBURBAN OWNERS You have two cows They make a great stand for you widescreen TV REPUBLICAN COWS You have two cows You donate them to charity because... DEMOCRAT CORPORATION ..Democrats complained of unfairness, and demanded that Republicans share their cows So they did, and Republicans apologized for it, now Republicans are out of business while the Democrats' cows are prosperous from gov't subsidies LIBERTARIAN CORPORATION You have two cows Grazing on hemp You have armed guards protecting them And a PRIVATE PROPERTY sign around them GREEN PARTY CORPORATION You HAD two cows You are growing tofu plants instead Because cows contribute to global warming And the McDonald's corporation
