Understanding Women

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Minuteman, Jan 23, 2007.


  1. Minuteman

    Minuteman Chaplain Moderator Founding Member

    1. FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
    right and you need to shut up.

    2. FIVE MINUTES: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
    Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
    minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

    3. NOTHING: This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
    and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually
    end in fine.

    4. GO AHEAD: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

    5. LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
    often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot
    and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with
    you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

    6. THAT'S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements
    women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and
    hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

    7. THANKS: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say
    you're welcome.

    8. WHATEVER: Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!

    9. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT: Another dangerous statement, meaning
    this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but
    is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's
    wrong," for the woman's response refer to # 3.

    Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can
    avoid if they remember the terminology. Send this to all the women you
    know to give them a good laugh,cause they know its true
     
  2. GoatLady

    GoatLady Lock and load

    Actually, it's kinda scary how true that is LOL.
     
  3. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member



    In the South...if you hear "How Nice..." look out....


    That's how we say it here.... [angel]
     
  4. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    I know girls who argue that way.
    That was a nice warning, bless your heart.
     
  5. Brook

    Brook Monkey+++

    uh oh... they figured us out! time to change the rules![fnny]
     
  6. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    Don't ax me, I jus lurk here
    r3056140146.
     
  7. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member


    [LMAO] [fnny]


    Yep...the Southern men here will certainly understand that one....

    and others since someone blabbed it on television and in books....sheeeesh....and it worked SO well , for SO long....
     
  8. Minuteman

    Minuteman Chaplain Moderator Founding Member

    Another term us Southern men are familiar with "A Kiniption fit".
    Not a pretty sight!
     
  9. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    I may have thrown a conniption or two in my time...

    [angel]




    it could have happened..perhaps....
     
  10. Minuteman

    Minuteman Chaplain Moderator Founding Member

    You can even spell it!!!!
     
  11. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member



    Well, yeah....

    I was raised in South Carolina... ;-)
     
  12. BigUglyOne

    BigUglyOne Monkey+++ Founding Member

    Or "Bless his heart" [LMAO]

    A woman just said that to me the other day - I ducked LMAO
     
  13. Quigley_Sharps

    Quigley_Sharps The Badministrator Administrator Founding Member

    good luck[booze]
     
  14. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member

    Amen ....[booze]
     
  15. Sojourner

    Sojourner Silverback

    A conniption is a lot nicer than a "hoppin' hissy fit".
     
  16. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member


    We're just like y'all...only softer, and smell better.


    [CRC]
     
  17. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member

    I think I'll leave that door shut. [own2]
     
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