Want to stop your wife from shopping so much???

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, May 9, 2007.

  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Mrs. Fenton insists that Mr. Fenton go with her to Wal-Mart He gets
    bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get in and get out, but
    Mrs. Fenton loves to browse.

    Recently the store sent her the following letter.

    Dear Mrs. Fenton,

    Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
    commotion in our store.

    We cannot tolerate this behaviour any longer and may ban both of
    you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video
    surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
    people's carts when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-
    minute intervals.

    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
    the restrooms.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
    tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and watched what happened.

    5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's
    on layaway.

    6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
    shoppers he would invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the
    bedding department.

    8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry
    and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

    9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
    mirror, and picked his nose.

    10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked
    the clerk if he knows where to find the antidepressants.

    11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the
    "Mission Impossible" theme.

    12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look"
    using different size funnels.

    13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
    through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

    14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, he
    assumed the fetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices
    And last, but not least....

    15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile,
    then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!!!!"

  2. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    Banned from Walmart...

  3. Conagher

    Conagher Dark Custom Rider Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Those are classics[fnny] [LMAO]
  4. kckndrgn

    kckndrgn Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member


    Oldie but a goodie!!!!!

  5. TailorMadeHell

    TailorMadeHell Lurking Shadow Creature

    [LMAO] And here I was wondering what to do to releive boredom. [fnny]
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