Warning lables: now thats funny...

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by GrandpaDave, Jan 27, 2012.

  1. GrandpaDave

    GrandpaDave Monkey++

    When you read these you just gotta know they had someone in mind when they wrote these up...My nephew comes to mind as one of them..
  2. Falcon15

    Falcon15 Falco Peregrinus

    What you really need to remember is someone got hurt using these products inappropriately. Typically warnings are added after some Darwin Award Winner uses them wrong and gets seriously hurt or killed. The bridge notation reminded me of a blonde joke my wife told me:

    Two blonde women decided they were going to show their outdoor enthusiast/hunter husbands that they were made of some stern stuff. They discussed how to do this, and settled on going bear hunting. Driving up the mountain they came across a sign that read: "BEAR LEFT". Despondent, the women turned around and went home.
    GrandpaDave and weegrannymush like this.
  3. ditch witch

    ditch witch I do stupid crap, so you don't have to

    "Do not use in shower"
    On hairdryer.
    GrandpaDave and Falcon15 like this.
  4. TheEconomist

    TheEconomist Creighton Bluejay

    I think they had this kid in mind...

    Texts From Bennett

    Hes a total M O....

    ETA: Warning, crude - ghrit
  5. Seawolf1090

    Seawolf1090 Retired Curmudgeonly IT Monkey Founding Member

    Back when SNL was actually funny (the days of Belushi, Ackroyd, etc) they did a skit on "Mainway Toys" that always had me laughing my butt off - using a plastic bag over the head - "Johnny Space Helmet", and a blade-equipped teen punk 'boyfriend' for Barbie - "Johnny Switchblade". I always figured the guys writing that had some interesting earlier experiences.

    A lot of these warnings are simply a sad statement on "The Nanny State".
  6. GrandpaDave

    GrandpaDave Monkey++

    Of course you know that other than care and handling instructions the only warning label found on a crate of dynamite reads

    they should probably add something about keep out of reach of "Monkeys" cause their to eager
  7. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    Does a stick of dy-no-mite look like a banana?
  8. gprod55

    gprod55 Monkey+++

    only if your color blind
  9. STANGF150

    STANGF150 Knowledge Seeker

    oooooo Dynamite!!!! [drooling]
    larryinalabama likes this.
  10. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart,Deadman Walking, Snow Monkey Moderator

    "Dynamite" comes in various packaging, and is basically no longer produced for General Purpose Blasting. There are some Special Use versions still in production, but typically what most folks know as "Dynamite", is in Reality an Ammonia Nitrate based Energetic Material, classed as a Blasting Agent, and NOT a High Explosive. One of the few "Specialty" Dynamite variants still in production is the tried and true, "Red Cross 40" (Red Cardboard or Paper rolled 1"-2" X 12" sticks) or Ditching Powder. This is 40% Nitroglycerin and has a very high Brissaence and Detonation Velocity. It is commonly used to make ditches, (hence the Term "Ditching Powder) and sticks are laid on the ground along the ditch line, about every 3 feet, and when the one on the end is capped, and then detonated, the shockwave travels from one, to the next, and detonates each stick in series, forming the basic Ditch. All the is required after is to run a Backhoe down it, straddling the ditch, and cleaning it out a bit. Instant Ditch, for the most part.
  11. larryinalabama

    larryinalabama Monkey++

    The comedy is those prescription drug adds on TV. Take our pill it might get rid of your headach, the side affects aaaaare bildness diaherra pain allover and in some cases Death.
  12. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    :lol: I'm with ya' there - I always laugh at those and wonder if the initial problem is really bad enough to chance all of the "cure's" potential side effects.
    Sapper John likes this.
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