We haven't had any Pun in a while...

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Tracy, Mar 4, 2007.


  1. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    Did you hear that the warden gave all the inmates acne medicine?
    He was hoping to stop any break-outs.
    ;)
     
  2. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    Cleaning out my computer and ran across this one sent to me by a dear friend:

    A man walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink. The bartender serves him and goes back to the other end of the bar. As the man is enjoying his drink, he hears a little voice:

    "Nice haircut."

    He looks around, but doesn't see anyone. A few minutes later he hears it again:

    "Have you been losing weight?"

    He looks around but still there's nobody there. A minute later:

    "That shirt looks great on you."

    Exasperated he calls the bartender over and explains what's going on. The bartender points to a bowl of bar snacks and says:

    "It's the nuts. They're complimentary."
     
  3. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    Awwwww...[troll]
     
  4. Blackjack

    Blackjack Monkey+++

    NOOOOOOOOO..... it lives!
     
  5. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    Muwahahahaha.

    ...and you thought zombies were scary.

    ;)
     
  6. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    One day, CRC and I got together. I brought basil and olive oil, she brought garlic and ground pine nuts.

    We immediately became pesto friends.

    :lol:
     
  7. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    :lol:


    And we will romaine pesto friends forever! [​IMG]
     
  8. Rancher

    Rancher Specialist

    I think this is going to become the new. "This thread will never die"
     
  9. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    I don't think this could ever catch up to Quig's mastery. :)




    For a while, Houdini used a lot of trap doors in his act, but he was just going through a stage.
    [LMAO]
     
  10. Rancher

    Rancher Specialist

    A good baker will rise to the occasion, it's the yeast he can do. And by so doing he'll get all the dough he kneads.
     
  11. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    :lol: Good one!

    Two pretzels were walking down the road...

    One was assaulted.
     
  12. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    BARF!!
     
  13. Rancher

    Rancher Specialist

    A man walks into a hardware store and asks if they have a tool for breaking up some hard ground. The shop assistant points to a row of suitable tools along the wall and replies: "Certainly sir, take your pick."

    The pirate captain was standing in his treasure pile.
    He didn't have very much: his booty was only shin-deep.

    I had a nightmare that I was in Panama during a snowstorm. I was dreaming of a white isthmus.

    Did you hear the one about the man who dreamed he was a muffler on a car, and then that he was part of the wheel?
    He woke up exhausted and tired.

    I used to want to be a gold prospector, but it didn't pan out.

    Did you hear about the new line of Elvis Presley-themed steakhouses?
    They will be for people who love meat tender.

    A man was charged with stealing ducks from a local pond in a small English village.
    When in court, the judge asked how he pleaded. He replied 'Not guilty Mallard'.
     
  14. Blackjack

    Blackjack Monkey+++

  15. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    Awww, c'mon...

    A little smile won't hurt.

    :)
     
  16. Blackjack

    Blackjack Monkey+++

  17. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member



    And wrinkles only go where smiles have been! :)
     
  18. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    What do you call a rooster with erectile disfunction??
    (You are going to hate this --
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    Wait for it --
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    BONELESS CHICKEN!
     
  19. Rancher

    Rancher Specialist

    :lol:Good one
     
  20. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    I sent twenty different puns to my friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.


    No pun in ten did.

    :(
     
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