WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT GHOSTS? Test Yourself 1) You are most likely to see ghosts... a) In your office b) In an airport c) At a football game d) In a vacant house or empty part of a house (such as an attic) 2) Ghosts like to eat... a) Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches b) Dark chocolate with almonds c) Nothing d) Sushi 3) Ghosts are drawn to... a) Music b) Pets c) Favorite movies d) None of the above 4) Which appliance is a ghost most likely to haunt? a) Toaster b) Dishwasher c) Refrigerator d) Stove 5) Ghosts usually wear... a) Nothing b) The clothes in which they were buried c) The clothes in which they died d) White bedsheets 6) If you meet a ghost you should... a) Talk to it b) Run away c) Chase it with a broom d) Close your eyes and say a prayer 7) You can tell a ghost is nearby because... a) You feel a cold chill b) You can see it c) It moves small objects around d) All of the above 8) When ghosts want to relax they... a) Do crossword puzzles b) Go to the gym c) Travel d) Swim Analysis 1D. Ghosts often appear in places that are not usually frequented by the living. Most spirits don't like company and need to be alone. They haven't accepted the fact that they are dead and will only be able to go on their way after much solitary reflection. In the meantime, they show themselves only when they want to scare away intruders or communicate some unfinished business to the living. That's why they don't show up in an office during normal working hours or at an airport or a football game -- too many people around. Occasionally, spirits go to attics to look for the things they owned when they were alive. You may see them there if you go up alone. You might see a ghost on your TV screen, but if you do, call the repair man: Ectoplasm, the chemical buildingblock of ghosts, is incompatible with digital circuits. 2C. Ghosts don't eat, so even if they loved sushi or dark chocolate with almonds in their lifetimes, you won't be able to lure them out of hiding by placing their former favorite foods on the table. 3A. If you want to see a ghost, you can try drawing them out with the music that they liked when they were alive. As intangible beings, they respond strongly to intangible media (and also tangible mediums like our Madame Malisa). Ghosts don't like pets because animals sense when they're around and make a racket. They also don't respond to movies, even the ones they liked in their lifetimes. A ghost's eyesight is notoriously poor except in almost total darkness. 4A. Ghosts are naturally drawn to the "pop" action of a toaster because it scares people. 5C. Most people who have seen ghosts say they wear the clothes in which they died, not the ones in which they were buried. This makes sense: That was the way they looked when their lives ended. Ghosts don't actually wear sheets. People who claim to have seen them like that are really seeing raw, unformed ectoplasm. Ghosts who appear in this form are usually in a transition period, getting ready to head off to the afterlife. Ghosts who are still dressed will probably be around for a while, like seniors at a prom. 6A. If you meet a ghost for the first time, you will probably be scared. Talk to it. That will help to calm you down. Attacking it will only rile you both. Running won't make it go away (it can float faster than you can move). Prayer may make you feel stronger . . . but it won't make the ghost disappear. 7D. Many ghosts seem to enjoy teasing live humans. After all, there's not much else to do when you're dead. Unfortunately, some ghosts do not have good intentions and will hurt people if they get a chance. Some are tormented. Some are angry and want vengeance. If you sense that a ghost is nearby, be firm with it. Ghosts respect those who are unafraid. 8D. While ghosts can't actually swim, they know how to float and enjoy the coolness of the water. Their eyesight isn't good enough to do crossword puzzles and they no longer have a real body, so going to the gym holds little appeal. Neither does traveling. They can go anywhere they want, but they prefer to stay close to the places that were meaningful to them in life.