Why did the chicken cross the road?

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Yard Dart, Feb 1, 2016.


Tags:
  1. Yard Dart

    Yard Dart Vigilant Monkey..... Moderator Site Supporter++

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

    BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

    JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

    HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road?

    GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

    DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

    BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

    AL GORE: I invented the chicken.... and the road.

    JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

    AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

    DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.

    OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

    ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

    PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

    MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

    DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

    GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

    DONALD TRUMP: We should build a wall so the chicken can't cross the road.

    BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

    ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

    COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

    [​IMG]
     
    Ganado, hank2222, alaskachick and 4 others like this.
  2. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    Why did the rabbit cross the road? (He was stapled to the chicken):eek:
     
    alaskachick and Aeason like this.
  3. Pax Mentis

    Pax Mentis Philosopher King Site Supporter

    Why can't we just accept that the chicken crossed the road without questioning it's motives?
     
  4. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    Because...I suspect fowl play......:rolleyes:
     
  5. DKR

    DKR Interesting ideas, interesting stories

    [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
    Tikka, hank2222, alaskachick and 5 others like this.
  6. DKR

    DKR Interesting ideas, interesting stories

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
    hank2222, alaskachick, Aeason and 5 others like this.
  7. BTPost

    BTPost Old Fart Snow Monkey Moderator

    " It is NONE of YOUR F******G Business, why I wanted to cross the road.... Ask me again, and I will Peck your Eyes Out..."
     
  8. azrancher

    azrancher Monkey +++

    I own that chicken...

    Rancher
     
  9. UncleMorgan

    UncleMorgan I eat vegetables. My friends are not vegetables.

    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    Because it had decided to end its relationship with the armadillo. Permanently.
     
    alaskachick, Aeason and Motomom34 like this.
  10. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    To show the armadillos and possums that it can be done!
     
  11. Aeason

    Aeason Monkey

    If at my place it was because the fricken hawk was after it
     
  12. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    [​IMG]
    Or because she likes playing chicken with cars......

    [​IMG]
     
  13. UncleMorgan

    UncleMorgan I eat vegetables. My friends are not vegetables.

    Afterwards, they always ask "Why?"

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Some say it was a moment of childish irresponsibility, while others think it was just for the crazy adrenaline rush.

    Some say it was done for street cred in the Coop--the kind of rep you just can't make any other way.

    Some, perhaps wiser than the rest, suggest that it was done simply to prove that even a chicken can run a big rig into the ditch.
     
  14. Yard Dart

    Yard Dart Vigilant Monkey..... Moderator Site Supporter++

    You now... it could have been something as simple as a sexy hot hen on the other side of the road.... ... most would cross the road for that without even taking a quick look left or right. :cautious:
     
    alaskachick, duane and Aeason like this.
  15. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    8:16 seconds of your life forfeit, you'll never get it back, just warning you but you know you'll watch it anyway.
     
    Motomom34, alaskachick and Aeason like this.
  16. arleigh

    arleigh Goophy monkey

    Animals ,birds in particular seem to love to challenge bigger things than them self , I have this happen from time to time that a bird or squirrel or rabbit will dart in front of me and miss me by inches or in two cases collide with me.
    I have chickens and few have the courage to do things on their own , but those that do are quite adventurous .
    To some degree I don't think is is suicidal, so much as showing off to impress a mate ,which is very common.
    They are not all stupid creatures (only some of them) .
    We see these animals being daring , but I think that it is for the lack of the fight for survival they instinctively know.
    IMO.
    As for the "Joke " the answer one chooses is "the key to the character of the person asked", as demonstrated earlier in the thread.
     
    Yard Dart likes this.
  17. Ganado

    Ganado Monkey+++

    the chicken crossed the road to lay the egg for future generations... the ultimate prepper ;)
     
  18. Tikka

    Tikka Monkey+++

    @arleigh
    When I was a kid, they said the rooster could kick my bird dog's butt. The rooster got out and I said sic him. The rooster did his thing and without a scratch my dog killed him. As a result, the rooster went to the great beyond and my butt was sore for a couple of days.
     
    Ganado and arleigh like this.
  19. TailorMadeHell

    TailorMadeHell Lurking Shadow Creature

    "I did not cross the road. The road crossed me."
     
    Ganado likes this.
  20. arleigh

    arleigh Goophy monkey

    The chicken crossed the road because it was there.
     
  1. T. Riley
  2. Ganado
  3. Ganado
  4. Ganado
  5. ghrit
  6. Witch Doctor 01
  7. Witch Doctor 01
  8. 3M-TA3
  9. Witch Doctor 01
  10. Witch Doctor 01
  11. Witch Doctor 01
  12. ghrit
  13. UncleMorgan
  14. Gopherman
  15. 3M-TA3
  16. Legion489
  17. Witch Doctor 01
  18. Salted Weapon
    [ATTACH]
    Thread by: Salted Weapon, Jun 9, 2016, 33 replies, in forum: Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions
  19. Yard Dart
survivalmonkey SSL seal        survivalmonkey.com warrant canary
17282WuJHksJ9798f34razfKbPATqTq9E7