Why the chicken crossed the road......

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by 13BRAVO, May 25, 2008.

  1. 13BRAVO

    13BRAVO "Hit the ground running!"

    Why the chicken crossed the road...

    My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the
    need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on
    the other side of the road.

    When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to
    cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure
    -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance
    it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......

    The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The
    chicken wanted CHANGE!

    DR. PHIL:
    The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he
    must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it
    goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we
    need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
    'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

    Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why
    he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken
    learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm
    going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the
    road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

    We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want
    to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The
    chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
    Speaking of chicken, does anybody else have the munchies?

    Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite
    image of the chicken crossing the road...

    We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet
    been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against
    it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
    chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

    That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in
    his eyes and the way he walks.

    To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

    No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
    standing order at the [COLOR=blue! important][FONT=verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif][COLOR=blue! important][FONT=verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Farmer's [/FONT][COLOR=blue! important][FONT=verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Market[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR] to sell my eggs when the price
    dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider

    Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
    chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

    To die in the rain. Alone.

    Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?'
    That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that
    chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too.
    I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that
    the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like
    'the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's
    as plain and as simple as that.

    In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
    told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

    Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
    chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
    experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
    life long dream of crossing the road.

    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in

    I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads,
    but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
    check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken.
    This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C%
    ....... reboot.

    Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath
    the chicken?

    I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition
    of chicken?

    AL GORE:
    I invented the chicken!

    Did I miss one?

    **** CHENEY:
    Where's my gun?

    Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
  2. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

  3. TailorMadeHell

    TailorMadeHell Lurking Shadow Creature

    That was fowl. [lolol]
  4. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    A young chicken decided he wanted to go into journalism. He studied hard in school, and soon landed his first job. He worked hard over the years, always striving to be honest, thorough and insightful.

    His big break came when he had the opportunity to cover a major political scandal. It was his best work ever.

    One day when he came home there was a young hen waiting there for him, and she gave him what he had worked so hard for: the coveted Pullet Surprise.
  5. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    why did the chicken cross the road? to show an armadillo that it was possible!
  6. MbRodge

    MbRodge Monkey+++

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Ron Paul:
    "That's none of our business!"
  7. thepatriot1976

    thepatriot1976 Resigned Membership

    Why did the chicken cross the road!

    Official Government statement:

    We the government of the United States of America publicly deny the existence of "chickens" and any like genetic fowl of the supposed "chicken" family. We denounce that they exist or have ever existed. We do not believe that a "chicken" brought down world trade center 7 and especially denounce the involvement of a "chicken" in an undercover black ops plan to assassinate J.F.K.. Thus further we note that their is no plan to drop a "chicken" on Iran to start military operations in that theater of war. They simply do not exist, you do not exist, this conversation never happened, the government is a myth all made up in your head and does not exist. Go home now there is nothing here to see, mind your own business, This message will self destruct in 5..4...3...2...1.... Boom!

    Ari Fleisher.....
    (Former white house press secretary)
  8. 13BRAVO

    13BRAVO "Hit the ground running!"

    good one, patriot
  9. Allen

    Allen Monkey+

    If the chicken is on my side of the road, can I shoot it.
    If it's on the other side of the road, can I shoot it & drag it back to my side.
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