Why Yard Sales Are Important.

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by 3M-TA3, Sep 11, 2016.

  1. 3M-TA3

    3M-TA3 Cold Wet Monkey Site Supporter++

    Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

    This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

    Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

    A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

    Q. Where will the government get this money ?

    A. From taxpayers.

    Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?

    A. Only a smidgen of it.

    Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

    A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a ; high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

    Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

    A. Shut up.

    Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

    * If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will ; go to China or Sri Lanka .

    * If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

    * If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or ; China ...

    * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ...

    * If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .

    * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .

    * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go ; to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

    Instead, keep the money in America by:

    1) Spending it at yard sales, or

    2) Going to ball games, or

    3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

    4) Beer or

    5) Tattoos.

    (These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )


    Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard ; sale and drink beer all day ! :D

    No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.
    HK_User, Caveman Jim, GOG and 15 others like this.
  2. UncleMorgan

    UncleMorgan I like peeling bananas and (occasionally) people.

    A bold and insightful analysis. You have opened a new dimension of economic truth...
  3. Yard Dart

    Yard Dart Vigilant Monkey Moderator

    Thread of the year!!!!
    Ura-Ki, 3M-TA3 and Ganado like this.
  4. duane

    duane Monkey+++

    Moderator, this is posted in the wrong forum, it definitely belongs in Financial Cents. All joking aside, I bought wood auger bits, a full set, and a hand brace, Stanley from the 30's or so for $10 at a yard sale yesterday. Looked it up in Lehman's after I got home and it would have cost about $250 or so. Reading the post made me laugh and then cry, definitely classic Irish black humor of trying to laugh your troubles away as there isn't a da** thing you can do about them.
    Caveman Jim, Ura-Ki, 3M-TA3 and 4 others like this.
  5. Asia-Off-Grid

    Asia-Off-Grid RIP 11-8-2018

    I'll vote for the protitutes, beer, and tattoos, even though I have never had a tattoo.
  6. marlas1too

    marlas1too Monkey+++

    OMG I love yard sales. have got so many goodies over the years
    Ura-Ki, 3M-TA3, UncleMorgan and 2 others like this.
  7. tedrow42

    tedrow42 Monkey+

    Some one didn't get the joke
  8. Tevin

    Tevin Monkey+++

    I realize this post is in the Humor forum, but there is quite a bit of oversimplification here:

    If you spend your money at Walmart, or a gas station, or on a car, vegetables, or whatever, the cash does not all go to some foreign entity.

    Some of the money goes to people who work at the place you bought it from.
    Some of the money goes to the owner of the store, who likely is a franchisee and local businessman.
    Some of the money goes to local vendors, such as the snow plow service that clears the store parking lot.
    Some of the money goes to the longshoremen who unloaded the stuff from the ship.
    Some of the money goes to truck drivers who delivered the stuff to the store.
    Some of the money goes to company stock holders. If you have a 401K, that's you.

    And of course, all the above people go out and spend their paychecks, possibly as a business you work at, which repeats the cycle and puts money in your pocket.

    After all that overhead, most of which stays right here in the USA, only a small percentage of the total price goes back to the foreign entity.

    Even if you could spend all of your money on yard sales, hookers, booze, or tattoos, here's what would happen: The yard sale vendors, hookers, bar tenders, and tattoo artists will take the money you just gave them and go out and buy one of the items you're trying to avoid buying yourself. So what have you proven?

    I'm not trying to defend of the current foreign trade & banking situation, I'm only trying to point out that the issue is not as black and white as this semi-serious post wants us to believe.
    UncleMorgan likes this.
  9. marlas1too

    marlas1too Monkey+++

    I got the joke its just when I see yard sales my mind goes blank
    GOG, Ganado, tedrow42 and 3 others like this.
  10. ditch witch

    ditch witch I do stupid crap, so you don't have to

    Around here yard sales are picked clean the day before by pros with pickups and trailers. By the time I show up it's nothing but crappy clothes and busted furniture.

    Guess I'd best get busy scouting out some new toy boys. :D
    GOG, Ura-Ki and 3M-TA3 like this.
  11. 3M-TA3

    3M-TA3 Cold Wet Monkey Site Supporter++

    Sometimes a joke is just a joke. You don't always need to overthink things - it will just drive you crazy. So, calm down, relax, and have a beer - just not Budweiser since it's owned by InBev and all the money will go to Brazil...
  12. secondrecon

    secondrecon Monkey+++

  13. Asia-Off-Grid

    Asia-Off-Grid RIP 11-8-2018

    That, at least you know how to prioritize your spending? :D
  14. arleigh

    arleigh Goophy monkey

    I would spend it on paying bills and buying ammo .
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