Wish I could have this whole thing tattooed on my back

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by ColtCarbine, Apr 5, 2008.

  1. ColtCarbine

    ColtCarbine Monkey+++ Founding Member


    “My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.

    Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

    This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

    Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short . The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

    The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

    Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER IT’ll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.

    The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

    Need help with a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France .

    In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money t oward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations: Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

    Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China .

    I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bonne chance, mez amies.

    I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

    A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

    Mexico is also on List 2 its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.

    Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

    We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.

    It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

    Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world, has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet.

    It is time to eliminate hunger in America.

    It is time to eliminate homelessness in America.

    To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

    To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

    God bless America . Thank you and good night. “

    If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.
  2. RouteClearance

    RouteClearance Monkey+++

    CC, Wake Up, C'mon now wake up. You know we can't have pleasent dreams like that
  3. Tango3

    Tango3 Aimless wanderer

    that twas my first reaction "dream on"...the libbys' think we have A responsibility to pump money into the turd world.
  4. the dog

    the dog Monkey+++

    i love it.......[beer][boozingbuddies]
  5. ColtCarbine

    ColtCarbine Monkey+++ Founding Member

    Yeah, I know I'm living in a dream world. I'm awake now from my delusional slumber. [beer]
  6. ColtCarbine

    ColtCarbine Monkey+++ Founding Member

  7. FrancisMarion

    FrancisMarion Monkey+++

    Now that would be a sweet speech!
  8. RouteClearance

    RouteClearance Monkey+++

    Hey CC, How bout' you get in touch wit Ron Paul, he needs a good running mate.
  9. Blackjack

    Blackjack Monkey+++

    I like it

    but I agree.... don't pin all that crap on libs.... the cons/repubs are just as guilty
  10. ColtCarbine

    ColtCarbine Monkey+++ Founding Member

  11. monkeyman

    monkeyman Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Sad to say but I honestly think if I heard a politician make that speach it would scare the hell out of me as I started looking for his 'other hand'. Given the ilk we have in Washington if they gave that speach I would know either I was dreaming, it was a joke, or that they had one hell of a big screw job for us being set up that they were trying to distract us from and would figure the last to be the most likely, especialy if they were acknowledged as a serious power by the media and were not assasinated within days.
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