Women Drivers...

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Nov 30, 2005.


  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    think again.. :D


    I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in
    front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder
    to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he
    hung his arm out his window and gave the woman the finger.
    "Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself.
    I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female
    does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:
    I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.
    That's 96 miles each day.
    Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.
    Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.
    There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.
    That works out to be 982 cars ever y mile, or 31,424 cars.
    Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I
    pass at least another 4000 cars.
    That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every
    day.
    Statistically, females drive half of these.
    That's 18,000 women drivers!
    In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.
    That's 642.
    According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying
    Or unrewarding.
    That's 449.
    According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have
    seriously considered suicide or homicide.
    That's 98.
    And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.
    That's 33.
    According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry
    Weapons and this number is increasing.

    That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that
    Has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously
    considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

    Give one the finger? ............ I think not!!!
     
  2. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    Women drivers.
    annualwomendrivers_126.
     
  3. Quigley_Sharps

    Quigley_Sharps The Badministrator Administrator Founding Member

    :lol:
     
  4. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    Wonder which one CRC was driving.
     
  5. Quigley_Sharps

    Quigley_Sharps The Badministrator Administrator Founding Member

    the white on on the wall, or the red on in the stack. [ROFL]
     
  6. E.L.

    E.L. Moderator of Lead Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    That must have been during her trip to get the hot pink heels. It must have been a sale.

    [ROFL] [peep]
     
  7. ghrit

    ghrit Old, mean, and nasty Administrator Founding Member

    EL, you don't need a 5 iron to draw lightning. I think I'lll get behind a wall for the incoming surely is -- [peep]
     
  8. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Yours.

    :D
     
  9. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    AND..for what it's worth..I have been driving for 36 yrs. I have never had a ticket...

    NEVER had an accident..

    I have been in accidents....


    Men were driving.


    so there.... [tng2]





    ok ..ok..so I talked my way out of a couple..and should have gotten a ticket...those are just minor details...

    [ghrit]
     
  10. E.L.

    E.L. Moderator of Lead Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    :lol: [rofllmao] [ROFL]
     
  11. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member


    He hasn't seen that one yet, has he??? :D
     
  12. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    [peep] Yeah, we know.
     
  13. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    Women drivers
    21_195.
     
  14. Quigley_Sharps

    Quigley_Sharps The Badministrator Administrator Founding Member

    [​IMG]
     
  15. Conagher

    Conagher Dark Custom Rider Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    By the looks of that garage door, she must've been [booze]
     
  16. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    The ONLY dent in my car...came from my son borrowing it one night...and hitting a stupid lamp pole in the parking lot of a ...ummm...."club" in Jacksonville. :rolleyes:


    Boys....sheeesh.


    I think what E.L. said in another thread is correct.....won't take the time to quote him..but he's right....
     
  17. E.L.

    E.L. Moderator of Lead Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    :flash: [peep]
     
  18. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    [nono]
    poof_167.
     
  19. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    ghost?
    uppercase_119.
     
  20. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    :lol: b:: [ROFL] [rofllmao]
    Have to get quig to put in the ghost smilie.
    Save bandwidth, I can post it for any of these and the potstirrer.
    gr_smilie.preview_32x32_113_143.
     
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