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Women....Explained by Engineers.

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Jan 13, 2008.

  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

  2. Tango3

    Tango3 Aimless wanderer

    :) money is the root of all "EVIL" therefore...
  3. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    Oh, I don't think I'd go there just yet....[beat]
  4. sheen_estevez

    sheen_estevez Monkey+++

    Oh ya, one thing I learned early in my married life is to just sit in my chair with a dumb look on my face.
  5. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    OMG! :lol: You guys crack me up! :lol:
  6. ColtCarbine

    ColtCarbine Monkey+++ Founding Member

    As to not dig myself into a hole I might not be able to get out of :censored: seesaw
  7. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    Honey; they don't make a shovel big enough for you to dig yourself out. ;)

    Don't hold back on my account - no sense changing now :lol:.
  8. ColtCarbine

    ColtCarbine Monkey+++ Founding Member

    Women are Evil

    Women, by nature, are evil. It is only when we understand this simple concept that men can ever hope to understand women. Hopefully, with these guidelines, men will have a better understanding of the mysterious ways of womankind. The first thing one must remember about a woman is that she knows everything. This is without exception. To go as far as say that a woman knows what you are thinking is not unrealistic. If, at any point of time, you are unsure of what you are thinking, one of the best ways to find out is to ask the nearest woman.

    But, unfortunately, there is a drawback to asking a woman such a question. This drawback is that she, in all probability, will answer. And once a woman starts talking, it is very rare that she will ever stop. I believe this has something to do with the way that women think. Women believe that as long as they are talking, people listen to her. Of course, listening to a woman talk can be very tedious at times. It is OK not to listen to her as long as you nod your head in agreement and say Uh-huh every now and then. This makes the woman think you are listening and therefore she is happy.

    Happiness is a good thing in a woman. If a woman is not happy, all hell breaks loose. In order to help a woman keep a state of happiness, one should buy her gifts for various reasons. These reasons include the 1 month anniversary, the 1 year anniversary, Presidents Day, and any day whose date is a multiple of one. These gifts could be in the conventional form of flowers and candy, or for greater happiness, cars and real estate.

    Often, when a woman says something, it is not what she means. But, other times, she says exactly what she means. It is only possible to distinguish these two cases if you are a woman. Since women already know the nature of women, this is of no use to them. For men, we can only hope to distinguish the difference, for a mistake in judgment can result in death.

    Women know what men want. This is very strange, because even as sometimes men don't know what they are thinking, men usually don't know what they want. However, I must observe that it seems that what men want for the most part is women. This is unfortunate, for women know this fact and know that it is possible for them to do almost anything and this fact will not change.

    Women have a very delicate nature. It is virtually impossible to keep one happy all of the time. It is totally impossible to know what one is thinking or feeling. And it is also impossible for us men, knowing how evil they are, not to love them. Women. You can't live with em. And, you can't live with em.
  9. MbRodge

    MbRodge Monkey+++

    Well, according to the Bible only the love of money is actually evil, so if you just wanted to say get it, use it, and be done with it....it technically wouldn't be evil. Right?
  10. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    I found that to be a flaw in the formula as well.

    If we change #4 to reflect the actual statement, then:

    The love of money is the root of all evil.
    The love of woman (not woman herself) is the root of all evil.
  11. Valkman

    Valkman Knifemaker Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Diamonds have always worked well for me. Play dumb 99% of the time and buy her a diamond now and then. She thinks I'm an idiot but she doesn't trust me to do anything so mission accomplished!
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