Women, Men and ATM's

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Conagher, Nov 9, 2005.


  1. Conagher

    Conagher Dark Custom Rider Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Women, Men and ATM's

    Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

    After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."

    MALE PROCEDURE:

    1. Drive up to the cash machine.

    2. Put down your car window.

    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

    6. Put window up.

    7. Drive off.


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    FEMALE PROCEDURE:

    1. Drive up to cash machine.

    2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

    3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

    5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up

    6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

    7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

    8. Insert card.

    9. Re-insert card the right way.

    10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

    11. Enter PIN.

    12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

    13. Enter amount of cash required.

    14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

    15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

    16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

    17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.

    18. Re-check makeup.

    19. Drive forward 2 feet.

    20. Reverse back to cash machine.

    21. Retrieve card.

    22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

    23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

    24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

    25. Redial person on cell phone.

    26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

    27. Release Parking Brake.
     
  2. Quigley_Sharps

    Quigley_Sharps The Badministrator Administrator Founding Member

    That will make you points :eek:
     
  3. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    OMG.... :shock:


    melbo's right........










    I AM a dude.


    [ROFL]
     
  4. melbo

    melbo Hunter Gatherer Administrator Founding Member

    [beer]
     
  5. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    b::
     
  6. Conagher

    Conagher Dark Custom Rider Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    I'm sure all of us including the women here, have been in line behind a woman that has done a lot of what was posted, I know I have :D
     
  7. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    I thought that was the Cliff notes version.
     
  8. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member


    Yep....and add 2 or 3 small children to the mix....and the wait is even longer! :rolleyes:


    I don't use them much..try to keep cash on hand...always.
     
survivalmonkey SSL seal        survivalmonkey.com warrant canary
1NTzCYzfQp3EJAGcxRodMHQMXm1u9pVTCT