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Working to hard....

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by runswithdogs, Apr 10, 2018.

  1. runswithdogs

    runswithdogs Monkey+++

    A man was sick and tired
    of going to work every day
    while his wife stayed home.
    He wanted her to see what he went
    through so he prayed:
    'Dear Lord:
    I go to work every day and put
    in 8 hours while my wife
    merely stays at home.
    I want her to know what
    I go through.
    So, please allow her body to
    switch with mine for a day.

    God, in his infinite wisdom,
    granted the man's wish.
    The next morning, sure enough,
    the man awoke as a woman...
    He arose, cooked breakfast
    for his mate,
    Awakened the kids,

    Set out their school clothes,
    Fed them breakfast,
    Packed their lunches,
    Drove them to school,
    Came home and picked
    up the dry cleaning,
    Took it to the cleaners
    And stopped at the bank
    to make a deposit,

    Went grocery shopping,
    Then drove home to put
    away the groceries,

    Paid the bills and balanced
    the check book.
    He cleaned the cat's litter box
    and bathed the dog..
    Then, it was already 1 P.M.
    And he hurried to make the beds,
    Do the laundry, vacuum,
    Dust, And sweep and mop
    the kitchen floor.
    Ran to the school to pick up
    the kids and got into an argument
    with them on the way home.
    Set out milk and cookies and
    got the kids organized to do
    their homework.
    Then, set up the ironing board
    and watched TV while he
    did the ironing.
    At 4:30 he began peeling
    potatoes and washing
    vegetables for salad,
    breaded the pork chops
    and snapped
    fresh beans for supper.

    After supper,
    He cleaned the kitchen,
    Ran the dishwasher,
    Folded laundry,
    Bathed the kids, And put
    them to bed.
    At 9 P.M. He was exhausted
    and, though his daily chores
    weren't finished, he went to
    bed where he was expected to
    make love, which he managed
    to get through without complaint.

    The next morning, he awoke
    and immediately knelt by the
    bed and said: -
    Lord, I don't know what
    I was thinking.
    I was so wrong to envy my
    wife's being able to stay
    home all day.
    Please, Oh! Please,
    let us trade back.. Amen!'
    The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:

    'My son, I feel you have
    learned your lesson and
    I will be happy to change
    things back to the way
    they were.
    You'll just have to wait
    nine months, though.
    You got pregnant last night..........
  2. SB21

    SB21 Monkey+++

    Oh lord,,,,that's going to be rough. :ROFLMAO:
    Ura-Ki and UncleMorgan like this.
  3. SB21

    SB21 Monkey+++

    A fella was at work one day , talking with a few of the ladies in his office. One of the ladies was pregnant and expecting in the next few weeks. While they were talking, he heard a few of them say how they'd like to have another child.
    So the fella , being curious , asked the ladies what it felt like having a baby ? One of the ladies answered him by saying ," It's just like you being kicked in the balls ".
    So the fella thought about it for a second , and said that can't be , then he noticed the blaring eyes of the women , and one of them asked , 'Why do say that " ?
    Because you ladies are saying you'd like to have another child , you have never heard a man say " I think I'd like to have another kick in the balls " !
    Gator 45/70, Ura-Ki, techsar and 3 others like this.
  4. UncleMorgan

    UncleMorgan I eat vegetables. My friends are not vegetables.

    9 months? Crikey, whatta hoot!

    I've found, over the years that anything more than ten kicks in the balls is quite sufficient to make a person permanently knock-kneed.
  5. Dunerunner

    Dunerunner Brewery Monkey Moderator

    Oh, My God!! Please, Lord; keep me from making a foolish wish like that!
    SB21, Tully Mars and Ura-Ki like this.
  6. Tully Mars

    Tully Mars Metal weldin' monkey

    Well I do a lot of that now actually.
    Make breakfast
    Do dishes
    Keep laundry kept up
    Make supper/do dishes
    Make Sass's lunch most times it's leftovers from supper
    General light house cleaning
    Take care of 2nd Amendment cat and his brother and sister
    Take care of the grounds-mowing, bush hogging, trimming,ect
    Ura-Ki likes this.
  7. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    I am not going to go there. Shut the F up, Sea.
  8. Ganado

    Ganado Monkey+++

    Tully Mars and Ura-Ki like this.
  9. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    My wife wakes me in the mornings scratching my back. There is coffee waiting, breakfast, and clean clothing laid out for me. I work long hours but if I am in the area, I will come home and she will have lunch ready for me. When I come home in the evening, there is a glass of bourbon sitting beside my chair by the time I finish walking the puppies. I might nap for a bit but dinner will be served and we will discuss what needs to be done around the house and make plans and schedules to accomplish it. We have done this for the past thirty years and it works out pretty good. I am the hunter/gatherer and she is the home maker. We each respect the abilities and sacrifices of the other. We are getting older, health issues sometimes make things a bit difficult but we compensate. I am a very fortunate man.
    SB21, oldawg, Ganado and 4 others like this.
  10. Tully Mars

    Tully Mars Metal weldin' monkey

    I feel the same way. Since my wife still works full time and I do whatever, I feel it's only fair to take on more of the household stuff since I'm here most of the time. When I do take on a job that lasts for any length of time then we split the chores more evenly. It works for us.
    Ganado, Gator 45/70 and Seacowboys like this.
  11. Cruisin Sloth

    Cruisin Sloth Special & Slow

    You passed the test , Be safe & look after each other, Sloth
    Seacowboys and Ganado like this.
  12. SB21

    SB21 Monkey+++

    I will agree , you are a lucky man. I would always admire my grandfathers and grandmothers marriage . It seemed to be a lot like yours. My grandfather worked , my grandmother kept the house and served the best meals available. My grandfather would work , drink , smoke , cuss ,fish , hunt , raise hell , but grandma could stop my ole grandpa in his tracks with a quick glance. It was mutual respect I guess.
    I've given up on a relationship like that , I'm not going to say they don't make women like that anymore , I'm just going to say they don't make many of them.
    Tully Mars and Gator 45/70 like this.
  13. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    Oh, we started out wild as a switch. It was just seeing that we both made mistakes and both were determined to be there for each other that shaped us into that kind of person. That kind of man or woman doesn't exist in a ready-made off the shelf package, it takes work and mutual respect and commitment. You don't "find" people like that, you help create them.
  14. Gator 45/70

    Gator 45/70 Monkey+++

    My wife's middle name is ''Yes Dear'' I use that name a lot.
    oldawg and Tully Mars like this.
  15. Cruisin Sloth

    Cruisin Sloth Special & Slow

    Last edited: Apr 17, 2018
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