1. The Topic of the Month for October is "Make this the Perfect Bugout Location". Please join the discussion in the TOTM forum.

World No1 Gold Medalist Astrologer

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by chelloveck, Nov 1, 2014.

  1. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    Edit: A first, and only post it would seem, of a Mumbai spam artist, before it was deleted by Mr Ghrits. The OP was deleted while I was in the process of replying. Names and URLs were deleted to discourage the blighters.

    Ohmygoodnessme....a World No1 Gold medallist astrologer....

    How did you know that I had many love life problem...and my husband-wife problem is horrendous. My husband hates my wife...polyamoury / bigamy is such a tricky thing to negotiate.

    My childless problem is acute...I have three sons and there are times when I have wished that I was childless...can you help? Nothing illegal or unethical of course.

    My money problem is perennial...can by stars you show way the me to astral liquidity?

    I don't own a business, so that is not a problem for me...but If I should embark on a business enterprise...you are definitely someone to consult...together with my local shamen who is a wizard at divining with chicken bones.

    Although my unmentionables are untouchables...I'm not quite sure how you can help me with my inter cast love problem. I am a Kashtriya Australian Army (rtd), my wife is a Vaisya and my husband is a lazy good for nothing Brahmin....thank Shiva I have I have a Dalit lover who earns enough money doing the other caste's dirty work to make a respectable income from unrespectable work. She...( I say she, although she is still waiting for gender reassignment surgery) is keeping me, my Vaisya wife and my Brahmin husband in the undeserved luxury that we are accustomed, but are ungrateful for.

    I have no education problems...but that stands to reason, my being a Capricorn after all. Some others here complain that I am too wordy...and that I never read the links of the posts that they are banging on about...is there something that you can do about helping some of the theists here to use fewer logical fallacies in their posts. I would be eternally grateful.

    I rarely experience any domestic controversy...I find that manacles, thumbscrews and a cat o' nine-tails usually settles domestic disagreements fairly quickly.

    Hmmm foreskin travelling....It has not been much of a problem since the circumcision...it just doesn't travel anymore.

    Family relationship problems??? What are they? My family has disowned me...and I have disowned them....our relationships with each other are perfectly amicable now that we neither communicate nor have anything to do with each other.

    My marriage problem is simple...who gets the last pappadam when there is an odd number of pappadams delivered by the dabbawallah...You have no idea the hysterics that my Brahmin husband goes through when he doesn't get the last pappadam.

    I do sometimes have disturbance with my love life...which has absolutely nothing to do with my married life...being a serial philanderer...I try to keep the two as separate as I can. Though at times it can be tricky when my husband, wife and lovers are all at the same curry palace at the same time.

    Just baring my soul and opening up my family, marital and love life dilemmas to you (and all of the interwebbs) has been extraordinarily therapeutic....you have my life make better,happy and future bright & peacefull without the necessity of replying to your spam. Would that my life be as easy to divine with the deluxe editions of the World Book Club tarot collections that I keep getting unsolicited, but invoiced for...can you please help me with that small problem???
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2014
    oldawg, Mountainman, kellory and 2 others like this.
  2. JABECmfg

    JABECmfg multi-useless Site Supporter


    It's the sh1t like this, that keeps me coming back so frequently to see what's up on the monkey tree... [winkthumb]
    oldawg, chelloveck and kellory like this.
survivalmonkey SSL seal        survivalmonkey.com warrant canary