Xmas humor

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by ghrit, Dec 17, 2010.


  1. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member

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    <table style="width: 100%;" class="ecxMsoNormalTable" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="3"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; width: 100%;" width="100%"> <table class="ecxMsoNormalTable" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="3"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="padding: 0.75pt;" valign="top"> One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols. This seemed like the perfect gift.
    "How do I get him to sing?" The young man asked, excitedly.
    "Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet." was the shop owner's reply.
    The shop owner held a lighted match under the parrot's left foot. Chet began to sing: "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! ....." The shop owner then held another match under the parrot's right foot. Then Chet's tune changed, and the air was filled with: " Silent Night, Holy Night..."
    The young man was so impressed that he paid the shop-keeper and ran home as quickly as he could with Chet under his arm When the wife saw her gift she was overwhelmed.
    "How beautiful!" She exclaimed, "Can he talk?"
    "No," the young man replied, "But he can sing. Let me show you."
    So the young man whipped out his lighter and placed it under Chet's left foot, as the shop-keeper had shown him, and Chet crooned: "Jingle Bells! Jingle bells!..." The man then moved the lighter to Chet's right foot, and out came: "Silent Night, Holy night..."
    The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then asked, "What if we hold the lighter between his legs?"
    The man did not know. "Let's try it," he answered, eager to please his wife. So they held the lighter between Chet's legs. Chet twisted his face, cleared his throat, and the little parrot sang out loudly like it was the performance of his life:

    .

    .

    .

    .


    "Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire...."

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  2. alanz

    alanz Monkey+

    lol. I remember that one from when I was a kid, haven't heard it in years.

    This is my favorite thing right now:

    "On the twelfth day of Christmas,
    my true love gave to me
    Twelve survival books,
    Eleven boxes of food,
    Ten thermal blankets,
    Nine solar flash lights,
    Eight water filters,
    Seven hand crank radios,
    Six pressure cookers,
    Five golden coins,
    Four first aid kits,
    Three camp stoves,
    Two bug out bags,
    And a portable generator!"
     
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