Yogi Berra's Wisdom......

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Seawolf1090, May 12, 2012.

  1. Seawolf1090

    Seawolf1090 Retired Curmudgeonly IT Monkey Founding Member

    YOGIBERRA SAYINGS<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:eek:ffice:eek:ffice" />

    * A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.

    * All pitchers are liars or crybabies.

    * Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

    * Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.

    * Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken.

    * Even Napoleon had his Watergate.

    * Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

    * He hits from both sides of the plate. He's amphibious.

    * How can you think and hit at the same time?

    * I always thought that record would stand until it was broken.

    * I just want to thank everyone who made this day necessary.

    * I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat and if itkeeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm nothitting, how can I get mad at myself?

    * I never said most of the things I said.

    * I think Little League is wonderful. It keeps the kids out of the house.

    * I wish I had an answer to that because I'm tired of answering that question.

    * I'm a lucky guy and I'm happy to be with the Yankees. And I want to thankeveryone for making this night

    * I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like Idid.

    * If people don't want to come out to the ball park, nobody's gonna stop 'em.

    * If the world was perfect, it wouldn't be.

    * If you ask me anything I don't know, I'm not going to answer.

    * If you come to a fork in the road, take it.

    * If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.

    * In baseball, you don't know nothing.

    * In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practicethere is.

    * It ain't over till it's over.

    * It ain't the heat, it's the humility.

    * It gets late early out there.

    * It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking toomuch.

    * It's like deja-vu, all over again.

    * It's pretty far, but it doesn't seem like it.

    * Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents offthe streets.

    * Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded.

    * Slump? I ain't in no slump... I just ain't hitting.

    * So I'm ugly. So what? I never saw anyone hit with his face.

    * The future ain't what it used to be.

    * The other teams could make trouble for us if they win.

    * The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.

    * There are some people who, if they don't already know, you can't tell 'em.

    * We have deep depth.

    * We made too many wrong mistakes.

    * You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eatsix.

    * You can observe a lot by just watching.

    * You wouldn't have won if we'd beaten you.

    * You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, becauseyou might not get there.

    Cephus and NVBeav like this.
  2. TailorMadeHell

    TailorMadeHell Lurking Shadow Creature

    Funny stuff. Couple of 'em reminded me of me, except it's not me. Lol.
  3. Cephus

    Cephus Monkey+++ Founding Member

    He was one of a kind !!!!
  4. NotSoSneaky

    NotSoSneaky former supporter

    I like to say that when ordering a pizza in person just to watch the response. :D
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