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You Might be a Redneck Cross Dresser if......

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Aug 21, 2006.

  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    - You go to family reunions to meet guys.
    - You wear a dress that's strapless and a bra that ain't.
    - You wear combat boots with a minidress.
    - You wear jeans with a belt buckle that's bigger than your fist.
    - You have a Ford F150 pick-up truck, with a gun rack, a Dale Earnhardt license plate frame, and a Confederate flag on the tailgate, next to the bumper sticker that says "I sell Avon Skin-So-Soft."
    - You try to wax your legs with Turtle Wax.
    - You braid the hair that sticks through your fishnet stockings.
    - Wear a black John Deere baseball cap with pearls.
    - You use glitter to highlight your mustache.
    - You wear tube tops with your mini, because it shows off your Harley-Davidson tattoo.
    - Your favorite band ring came off a cigar.
    - You keep spare ammo in your bra.
    - You get a run in your stockings while changing a tire on your motorhome.
    - Your purse is a toolbox.
    - You pluck your eyebrows with a pair of needle nosed pliers.
    - You store your lipsticks in a socket-wrench box.
    - You use duct tape to keep your "tuck" in place.
    - You call your vanity "your work bench."
    - You use a pocketknife to sharpen your lip and eye liners.
    - "Doing your nails" means sorting the ten-pennies from the sixteen-pennies.
    - Your favorite leather skirt was made from the moose you shot last Fall.
    - Your new sandals are made from truck tire re-treads your found on the road.
    - You keep a spare lipstick in your toolbox.
    - You wear a pair of C-clamps as screw-on earrings.
    - Your best silver necklace is made from beer can pull-tabs.
    - Your nail enamel is made by Rustoleum.
    -. You use paint thinner to remove your makeup.
    - Your moisturizer says "non-detergent SAE 10W30" on the container.
    - You remove your leg hair with duct tape
  2. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    :lol:Too funny
  3. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    :eek: I know her.
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