Your Best Non-Swearing Insult

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Ganado, Feb 2, 2017.

  1. Merkun

    Merkun furious dreamer

    On second thought, leave the horse alone, he's worth something.
    Gator 45/70, Ganado and techsar like this.
  2. 7.5mas

    7.5mas Monkey

    You're obviously the result of poor breeding habits .
    Dunerunner, Gator 45/70 and Ganado like this.
  3. Merkun

    Merkun furious dreamer

    Last edited: Jun 11, 2017
    Ganado and Gator 45/70 like this.
  4. arleigh

    arleigh Goophy monkey

    Ya know , we have a lot in common .
  5. M118LR

    M118LR Caution: Does not play well with others.

    If I got smart with Y'all, would you know the difference?
    Gator 45/70 and Ganado like this.
  6. 10brokenpromises

    10brokenpromises Monkey++

    Everyone in this room is now dumber after having listened to what you just said.
    Mindy Sue, Ganado, Merkun and 2 others like this.
  7. M118LR

    M118LR Caution: Does not play well with others.

    Intended Consequence.
    But would Y'all? LOL
  8. 10brokenpromises

    10brokenpromises Monkey++

    No sir, it was not a reply to you, it was simply the next one in the list of non-swearing insults.
  9. ochit

    ochit Monkey+

    So you must be a Democrat ?
    After meeting you evolution is a possibility.
    I have met the beautiful people, your not one of them.
    Mountainman likes this.
  10. arleigh

    arleigh Goophy monkey

    Do you know how to keep a know it all in suspension ?
    Ganado likes this.
  11. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    That's a question that I seem to be asked frequently here...let me know when you find the correct answer. ;)
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2018
    Ganado, VisuTrac and Yard Dart like this.
  12. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    That's the best non answer we've seen ---
    Ganado and chelloveck like this.
  13. Witch Doctor 01

    Witch Doctor 01 Mojo Maker

    Son you represent a good case for retroactive abortion....
    Mountainman and ghrit like this.
  14. hot diggity

    hot diggity Monkey+++ Site Supporter+++

    Keeping in mind that I deal with the armed public all day, I don't want to insult anybody, and I really shouldn't say things like this. I try my best to be polite. These may not qualify as true insults. It's a Marine thing.

    Q - "Hey, what do you know?"
    A - ...blank stare...
    "That much, eh?"

    When somebody is beating on something. (Usually a front sight...The Horror!) "Hit it with your purse!"

    Or when a guy can't operate something, or squeeze a stapler. "Put a little M. A. N. on it."

    Q - "Wow, that's really something! Is that how you do it back home? Hey, where is home? :)"
    A - (Proudly) "Tiny Town Alabama, Sir!"
    (With great enthusiasm) "Hot Damn! Really? Tiny Town Alabama!!" .... "Never heard of it." (As I turn and walk away.)
    Mountainman, Ganado and Yard Dart like this.
  15. Zimmy

    Zimmy Wait, I'm not ready! Site Supporter++

    I’m not saying I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire, I just wouldn’t piss where the fire was.
    ghrit likes this.
  16. Meat

    Meat Monkey+++

    I like to tell apprentice lineman that are married that you’ll need to divorce her soon. A lineman would never $crew a gal that an apprentice had. *hopes that makes sense to my audience*
  17. svjoe

    svjoe Angry Monkey

    If stupid hurts; you must be in constant pain......
    Ganado likes this.
  18. Motomom34

    Motomom34 Monkey+++

    Yelled yesterday: You son of a mother!
    ochit, Ganado and Meat like this.
  19. Oddcaliber

    Oddcaliber Monkey++

    I have spoons that are sharper than you.
    ghrit likes this.
  20. arleigh

    arleigh Goophy monkey

    Do you need a participation trophy ?
    Gator 45/70 and Ganado like this.
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