Your Best Non-Swearing Insult

On second thought, leave the horse alone, he's worth something.

 

You're obviously the result of poor breeding habits .

 

Found this, courtesy of my cousin.

Shakespeare Insult Kit

LOADED with Shakespearean level insults.

 

Ya know , we have a lot in common .

 

If I got smart with Y'all, would you know the difference?

 

Everyone in this room is now dumber after having listened to what you just said.

 

Intended Consequence.
But would Y'all? LOL

 

No sir, it was not a reply to you, it was simply the next one in the list of non-swearing insults.

 

So you must be a Democrat ?
After meeting you evolution is a possibility.
I have met the beautiful people, your not one of them.

 

Do you know how to keep a know it all in suspension ?

 

That's a question that I seem to be asked frequently here...let me know when you find the correct answer.

 

Son you represent a good case for retroactive abortion....

 

Keeping in mind that I deal with the armed public all day, I don't want to insult anybody, and I really shouldn't say things like this. I try my best to be polite. These may not qualify as true insults. It's a Marine thing.

Q - "Hey, what do you know?"
A - ...blank stare...
"That much, eh?"

When somebody is beating on something. (Usually a front sight...The Horror!) "Hit it with your purse!"

Or when a guy can't operate something, or squeeze a stapler. "Put a little M. A. N. on it."

Q - "Wow, that's really something! Is that how you do it back home? Hey, where is home? "
A - (Proudly) "Tiny Town Alabama, Sir!"
(With great enthusiasm) "Hot Damn! Really? Tiny Town Alabama!!" .... "Never heard of it." (As I turn and walk away.)

 

I’m not saying I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire, I just wouldn’t piss where the fire was.

 

I like to tell apprentice lineman that are married that you’ll need to divorce her soon. A lineman would never $crew a gal that an apprentice had. *hopes that makes sense to my audience*

 

If stupid hurts; you must be in constant pain......

 

Yelled yesterday: You son of a mother!

 

I have spoons that are sharper than you.

 

Do you need a participation trophy ?