Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Ganado, Feb 2, 2017.
On second thought, leave the horse alone, he's worth something.
You're obviously the result of poor breeding habits .
Found this, courtesy of my cousin.
Shakespeare Insult Kit
LOADED with Shakespearean level insults.
Ya know , we have a lot in common .
If I got smart with Y'all, would you know the difference?
Everyone in this room is now dumber after having listened to what you just said.
But would Y'all? LOL
No sir, it was not a reply to you, it was simply the next one in the list of non-swearing insults.
So you must be a Democrat ?
After meeting you evolution is a possibility.
I have met the beautiful people, your not one of them.
Do you know how to keep a know it all in suspension ?
That's a question that I seem to be asked frequently here...let me know when you find the correct answer.
That's the best non answer we've seen ---
Son you represent a good case for retroactive abortion....
Keeping in mind that I deal with the armed public all day, I don't want to insult anybody, and I really shouldn't say things like this. I try my best to be polite. These may not qualify as true insults. It's a Marine thing.
Q - "Hey, what do you know?"
A - ...blank stare...
"That much, eh?"
When somebody is beating on something. (Usually a front sight...The Horror!) "Hit it with your purse!"
Or when a guy can't operate something, or squeeze a stapler. "Put a little M. A. N. on it."
Q - "Wow, that's really something! Is that how you do it back home? Hey, where is home? "
A - (Proudly) "Tiny Town Alabama, Sir!"
(With great enthusiasm) "Hot Damn! Really? Tiny Town Alabama!!" .... "Never heard of it." (As I turn and walk away.)
I’m not saying I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire, I just wouldn’t piss where the fire was.
I like to tell apprentice lineman that are married that you’ll need to divorce her soon. A lineman would never $crew a gal that an apprentice had. *hopes that makes sense to my audience*
If stupid hurts; you must be in constant pain......
Yelled yesterday: You son of a mother!
I have spoons that are sharper than you.
Do you need a participation trophy ?
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Got an email today from!!!!
"Audit/Probe Panel Committee... the African Court of Human and People's Rights"...
This looks like satire, but it's hard to tell these days.
AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
I was the guy wearing the black...
The “Coyote Principle.” #California
“The governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the...
Donald's minions are not doing him any great favors....they are just making a coconut shy of their boss, instead of being his policy heralds....
Them is the facts...... a dangerous woman for sure, I should know. ;)
The Viking blood has not been diluted very much since we stopped our International Shopping Junkets a thousand or so years ago.
** not sure if this has been posted but someone just passed this on to me today. Funny but true. :)
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