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Zombie Identification

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Seacowboys, Jan 18, 2013.

  1. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    With all the focus on ZOMBIES and other so-called "Living Dead" or at least "Brain-dead"...it seems like we need some tips on how to accurately identify ZOMBIES in case of attack. While I have seen many that I knew were in-fact "Brainless", I am not sure if they were ZOMBIES or not, maybe Democrats or Republicans but ZOMBIES? Over the years, I understand that ZOMBIES seek "Brains" possibly for consumption but maybe, they just don't want anyone left that has any?
    Having worked many disaster relief operations where there were numerous remains not gathered in a timely manner, I can assume that one of the predominant early warnings of a ZOMBIE approach would be the smell of putrification? This smell may be disguised with liberal amounts of perfume, cologne or a wafting aroma of Bull-shit. This is a smell, even masked with the afore-mentioned, that once experienced, never quite exits your olfactory memory and if you detect something dead in the area, it might be prudent to assume that there may be one or more ZOMBIES approaching, that is assuming you have any brains?
    Also, from what I can gather, they do not put much accent on clothing and never bother to shop anywhere except maybe Walmart late at night? I am sure I have seen and smelled ZOMBIES at Walmart. They also seem to collect around government offices and court rooms....and social media sites on-line. This is apparent when you take into account most of the comments seen on social networks and realize that most of them have to come from someone with no functioning brain. I am equally sure that many of them are working for the mass-media as "news commentators" and as politicians, something else that takes no brains yet provides ample opportunity to prey on the few remaining that seem to have some.
  2. CATO

    CATO Monkey+++

    After SHTF, all people with Hope & Change bumper stickers, as well as people who got a tingle up their leg over a particular politician ARE ZOMBIES. Dispose of accordingly.
  3. BTPost

    BTPost Old Fart Snow Monkey Moderator

    I always figured if it was Female, and Blonde, that one should take a Second Look.... Maybe assess the Glazed over Eyes, and the staggering movement..... Oh Wait, that just means they are Stinking Drunk.....
    Catullus and VisuTrac like this.
  4. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    It's the coolaid
    Catullus and BTPost like this.
  5. melbo

    melbo Hunter Gatherer Administrator Founding Member

    lol. I read assess as ass(es) at first
    scrapman21009 and VisuTrac like this.
  6. gunbunny

    gunbunny Never Trust A Bunny

    Ya'll are sick- gonna catch the ZSTD.
  7. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    Drunk? I thought you had what it meant covered in the description... "blonde".
    melbo, Catullus and BTPost like this.
  8. fedorthedog

    fedorthedog Monkey++

    Sounds like a dating opportunity
  9. Brokor

    Brokor Live Free or Cry Moderator Site Supporter+++ Founding Member

    Pshht. I blend right in with the ZOMBIES --so well, in fact I can score a Gerber multi-tool kill if necessary. You see, tacos are your friend.

    Phew, I need a shower after taco night.
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