"Prepper Burn-out" anyone?

I have been at this for some time, have made a lot of mistakes and a few corrections. Now, here I am @ 58, still slamming the midnight hours, researching, reading, and doing what I can to keep updated on just about all I can possibly absorb.
Some days are better than others, but lately, it's pulling me down. The weight of so much to do, so little time and even less funding to do with. It all has taken it's toll on me.
Now I have no idea about the "rest" of the family and friends, but to be absolutely honest, I'm frazzled! I started to count ( not a food idea BTW!) of all the people that have contacted me re: a survival blog entry. "Finding others".

I quit last time (like smoking!) after the first 90 some responses....I became disillusioned and pretty much just threw in the towel on the whole concept of finding like minded people via the internet.
But, being the hardhead I am, I decided to go it once again, just for the heck of it. Now with 39 contacts in just 2 days, and I am reeling from it all!
I had a number of emails, and even meetings with people that actually came quite a distance, just so we could meet eye to eye and eye have lunch together.
So far so good. Right?

1 meeting began at 11:30 in the morning and continued well past midnight! We met, talked, had lunch, talked some more, came to my home, talked even more, and then talked via phone the following day.
This was NOT the first time. This was somewhere along about the 16th time for me.
I was beginning to think this might well work out.
I was wrong.

I tried to fit the experience into some category, like: "they all want something for nothing", or "these people are all wannabe's", I even went as far as thinking: "these people just want to gather infornmation".
None of the above pertained.
They were all good people, well meaning, but they all had a different view of what "Survival" and Preparedness" meant to them.
All had the same precepts, like a "list" we all have, which we have read and re-read over and over again, ad infinitum.
But that's where all similarity ended.
Many of "them", like "us", spent a great deal of time and money, just to continue forward with the very basics, like food, and the ability to grow more.
There the story comes to a twist in the road....
There are many that have ideas of a "community" of 12 or more people, in a large (numerous acres of land) rural setting. Some say they NEED at least 2 dozen other's to make their ideas work!
Some, very few, are more the "lone wolf" types, but even they know they cannot go it alone....and they come to the table with ideas of getting a "few" people together, 3-5 and have a smaller concept of what they need.

The problem:
We are all individuals, have different ideas, all predicated on the same basics and principles.
The story ends there.
Being who and what we are, most (not all) want it their way, or no way at all.
EG:
1 lady wants and will NOT accept anything less, than having a place with a kitchen that has tile floors with a central drain.
1 person will settle for nothing less than a 900+ sq ft place to reside in.
Yet another, wants and is quite outspoken, that there must be a "fire-ring" for outdoor cooking.
1 man says he has to have a place where his 4 dogs can live INSIDE, as they are not accustomed to staying outside, much less in any weather at all.
I had one person that "demanded" that all cooking be done outside, regardless of the weather....This person eventually conceded to having a building that had open walls and at least a roof!
I have had a number of people asking where they can put goats to raise, (NOT for eating mind you,as they are PETS!)
Some insist that they have to have a steak a day due to their protein needs...? I suppose you'd care for a red wine with that sir?
Sheesh!

I also found that Most people are hesitant to really "commit" to anything today. I mean literally anything at all.....
I see mostly what I'd refer to as "NOMADS"...people that are already constantly traveling, searching, seeking for that which does not exist, save for within their own minds. They come, in RV's, travel trailers, 5th wheels, vans, and dually trucks....Some have tents some have Yurts....all are looking for a place, someplace which I doubt exists!
I have spoken with families that are composed of up to 6 and 7 people, most having small children.
I have spoken with people that range in ages from 19 to 70.
All seeking a "Utopia" that I doubt exists anywhere in this state, and maybe not in this entire country!
It became apparent that "society" as a whole has become "addicted" to that "fast-food" syndrome.
We "want it now, and we want it our way, or not at all" type of thinking.
I was beyond disappointed.

I began to think I had been asking "others" to take on something so outrageous and outlandish, they'd have to have been escapees from an insane asylum, on a good day!
I started to question myself, and those with me.
Had I done this all wrong?
What was the answer...
I think I have it!
I was trying to hard to please all of those and more I mentioned above.
I had been so worried about making a place, a "safehaven" as it is, for too many, and had lost my own way.
I found myself filled with self doubts and tried to get myself back on track...
I had listened to and became too involved in other people's ideas and even what, for all intents and purposes, appear to be "lame brained" schemes.
It's like anythng else, IF you allow yourself to be pummeled day after day by insanity and propoganda, soon you'll either be just as insane, or believe the propoganda.

I have tried the "group" mentality on a number of occasions...
Therein is the problem...1 person has to be a "leader".
Few possess the ability to even be considered, myself counted amongst those that cannot lead!
Most people have this great need and desire to "belong" and feel naked outside that arena.
But, those same people are NOT willing, (even if thay are able) to contribute to the financial needs of the whole, or are relutctant to even put forth any effort in the way of work!
To many of the "Preppers and Survivalists" I have met, a "group" is just a social gathering, where they feel they are a part of something, but offer nothing to the whole. They simply take up space.
They are willing to meet, talk, have dinner or lunch with each other, and then go on their way. Nothing is acccomplished.
I personally attended several meetings with a "group" of no less than 16 other people....After the 7th meeting, I knew it was not going to work out for me, as these people had nothing to offer each other and had no other place to go. Sad. But that's how it is. Reality of the "like-minded".
So, seeing a whole lot of "go-nowhere" and "do-nothing" people and groups, I chose to go my own way.
It is mind numbing.

I am reminded of the catch phrase:
"If you build it, they will come..."
Yeah, well........ there's the fly in the ointment.
Back to square one.
Too many want someone else to do all the work, all the research, spend all their money, and have a place that is the "Utopia" they are seeking. They have to do nothing but sit back and relax, and enjoy the fruits of another's labor.
Well, all I have to say is: "that really sucks!"
They want a taxi service, a shuttle service, paved roads, no dust, no wind, weather that remains in the 70's year round, with no rain, no snow, and a self maintaining garden, or better yet a farmer to deliver the fresh veggies to them, all washed and ready to eat.

I was really surprised that so many actually said they could cook!
From the "looks" of 90% of those I have met, they all eat at McDonald's, Burger King, Jack-in-the-Box, or Taco Bell!
We are not talking mildly overweight here, I mean severly OBESE!
( my observation: IF you are 5 ft nothing tall, and weigh in at 250-300+ lbs, you are OBESE!) I can say that, I am 6 ft and weigh in at 200lbs and I am fat! (Not grossly so, but it's all in my waist, too much soda!)
Those I met, could barely even walk into a restaurant, had to sit on a "bench seat" as they did not/could not, fit on a chair!
Needless to say, those people would either lose a lot of weight, die from a heart attack, or simply "plop" themselves down and say Well, here I am, NOW: FEED ME! ( feed me I'm hungry....!) ahem.....
I was dumbfounded to find out I was supposed to act as a caterer to many that came to me, and many were quite adamant that they expected to be taken care of. Say what????

1 couple, just this past 2 days that came to me and AFTER all the talks and such, it comes out..."Well, I have an invalid mother I cannot put into a home and she'll need a24/7 care and a place to live , so we will require no less than a 3 bdrm home with 2 baths........She has to have an uniterrupted power suppply for her medical needs"!
HUH? Where was it that I "lost" control?
Ok, I'm old, feeble minded and seem to have somehow managed to become a combination of the : "Salvation Army", "Goodwill" and "Hospice" today.
...and people dare ask me what ever happened to cause me to be so anti-social?
Look, I'm NOT anti-social, or I would not have all these problems....
I think I am far too social and as a result, I may just lose what little mind I managed to have left!
My definitions:
Anti-social: Not wanting to be "USED" by those of society, which are too damn lazy to get off their butts and do anything for themselves!
(some refer to these as "lazy parasites", But I'm too nice to say that!)

Separatist: I just want to be as far away as I can from what "society" has become, and continues to evolve into"!
(I refer to "rancher's" in that light!)

Paranoia: If you think that "someone is out to get you", you are probably right! ( come to Prescott Arizona! The cameras on every street corner will freak you out!)

Ok,. enough ranting and craziness.....
I'm "open" to suggestions.....
Where does one look?
Where does one go from all of these experiences?
I have developed a sense of cabin fever, feeling "trapped" and so on, right here at home.
Does anyone else have any similar situations?
Or, am I in need of some serious counseling and professional help?

 

Sorry to say, I can't help except to let you know I feel the same way. There are times I actually want the SHTF so I can watch what happens to these people. The more people I meet, the less I like them.

Thanks for posting.

 

I just took some time to determine the amount of time, energy and money I have 'wasted" on meeting with and buying people lunches and dinners.....
What a waste it has been!
Sad, but It's better to know them now, than when things get hairy!
I feel there are an awful lot of these "drifters" looking for a "free ride" that are in for a real shock!
( can you say refugee's?)

 

If anything is true, you nailed it.. people don't want to let go of their lives. Can you blame them? Tell you what. I am pretty comfortable. I don't have a lot, but I have enough. I'm used to it and I like it. I'm not fooling myself or anyone else about this. The difference between me and others like me is that I am completely accepting of the fact that should SHTF, I may or may not still have these creature comforts that I purchased. I will be working for the survival of my family and most likely making no demands of anyone.

It's hard to find people that want to work together as a team and actually make things work for everyone because it can't be done alone. For example..a buddy of mine needed a chicken coup. We both looked around on the internet and got some ideas and he ultimately decided to build one. Now, I've never built a damn thing in my life (I'm a software developer.. if there's no keyboard attached.. ).. so off I go to his farm to help him build a chicken coup because if I was going to partake of the eggs produced, I needed to help. It's hard for me to even get out of the house with a wife who's not home enough to watch the kids so I had to take my eldest with me (he was very helpful in the garden). I had to pencil this day in so that my wife could watch my then 2 year old boy who is difficult to handle (sensory processing disorders).

Needless to say, It was educational. Unfortunately I haven't been able to do much of anything but work and I hadn't been able to help him since and I feel bad about it because it makes me feel like a leech. But if SHTF, I wouldn't be showing up empty handed and I'd be more than willing to work. Shit, if there were no need to sit at the computer, I'd have sooooo much time to do stuff that I would welcome it with open arms. Not only that, but I wouldn't be complaining at all about the accommodations or lack there of. If it wasn't there, I'd scavenge or build it (if I could).

 

Dragonfly, I would forget the notion. You have to know someone for a very long time before you have an idea of what you can expect from them. Notice I said "expect" not "know." There is no way I would trust a stranger like that, very close long term friends and family only and that means having a good idea of their mindset and seeing their work ethic, supplies and skill sets in person. Just my two cents as their are too many evil and/or worthless people out there.

 

Dragonfly, I read your post with a great deal of interest.
I live in a rural area, and have already begun assessing my neighbors, mostly by observing their attitudes and willingness to work, as well as their knowledge and capabilities.
In my opinion, if you are trying to get a group of people together to prepare for the inevitable SHTF scenario (which we all will have in one form or another) the first thing that needs to be done is to see what the individuals have to offer to the group.

Do you have any carpenters, welders, gardeners, good cooks, hunters, do you know how to can food, prepare game? Folks with little more than a strong back and a willingness to work and learn would be useful and welcome, think of all the firewood that would need to be cut and split.

On the other hand, people with no practical skills, those not willing to work and learn,
those making DEMANDS and expecting others to fulfill those demands will serve no useful purpose to the group, and could in time destroy the group

It looks like you have found a lot of people that would like to have safety and security, if someone else does all the work!
It may seem harsh, but you will need to be the judge, and quit wasting your efforts with people that are talking the talk, but not walking the walk.

I commend you on your effort, and I am not willing to stop trying myself.
I am encouraging folks here to raise more of their food, get some gardens growing,
store more of the things needed. It's a never-ending job! Take some time, relax and unwind a little, and better luck next time!

 

I encourage you to do all you can to teach others and guide them into considering what if, but be very careful who you let in your inner circle. Some will just use that knowledge to take what you have or tell others what you have and where you live. Instead of recruiting a group, I would just take a mental inventory of your neighbors, friends, and family and know who can do what.

 

Melbo, what you say is true...to a point.
But having said that, you have to realize that there is a BIG difference between the "city mice" and the "country mice".

You still have the community feeling all across the US in the small towns.
I see it every week in my little village here in southern Oregon.
There may be a few useless drones, but I have every expectation that the majority of the folks I know will pull together and help each other out.
I've seen it happen.

 

Thanks to all of you, words I shall think about and take to heart!
I have met some truly interesting people online, in fact, 1 which I consider to be truly a good friend, and although he is some distance away,a good neighbor!
I met him here, (S/M"s), and he and his wife and 2 boys live quite a distance from me, and he has come over to visit and we have a talk every few days...
I even purchased a beautiful sks from him!
I sincerely hope he and his family would join with us, if and when things go south....
There are a lot of good people around, but it is not easy to find those types that are sincerely dedicated to any cause, even when it may be in their best interests.
I am by no means a leader, and do not have what it takes to become one...BUT, I am a heckuva follower! (depends on who is leading...)
I was afforded the opportunity 3 times in as many months, while in the Army to upgrade from Spec 4 to Buck sgt. I turned it down....I knew many Buck sgt's. and they had what to takes to be a leader.....I had surpassed all the qualifications and even went thru CENCO with flying colors, ( which was a real problem for my superiors) You see, you have to be either an E-5 or ready to go to that grade before you enter the "Combat Engineer NCO' course.
I thought I was. My squad leader in Germany was quite a man, and I had no Platoon sgt., or Squad leader in Vietnam....only a 1st lieutenant. So, I chose NOT to become a "leader" and to remain in the background, where I felt I was most qualified and could do the most good. (or in my case, the most damage!)
I found out one day money was not everything....as most would have jumped at the chance to increase their monthly stipend from the Military. I chose the latter.
(what was it Clint eastwood said?)
"A man has just got to know his limitations"!
I'm easy! I can accept that!
What worries, (concerns?) me is my "inability" to make a suggestion or some could call it 'coercion', to get others to avail themselves of an opportunity which exists....It seems to all come down to:
Each to their own, I suppose....
In my tiny group of close friends (1) neighbor 34, my youngest son 20, and his girlfriend 18, myself 58, and my caretaker 48, we have some mixed experiences, but too few to be anything near self sufficient. We do offer things not too many others have, "land, several vehicles, ability to weld, machine, mechanical, carpentry, and the list continues....and all the tools needed to do most anything, a lot of communications equipment and so on.....
In fact, to date we have spent in excess of $40k , and I can still see we need an awful lot more even yet! No one can enough supplies,eg: toilet paper,
Plus, garden seeds, canning goods, and lots and lots of foods....
In an emergency scenario, right now we are as prepared as most, and yet lacking in some areas.
My youngset son came over to remind me of an old saying I used to use all the time..."you can lead a horse to water....But trying to get that danged thing to do the "backstroke" is something else again!
Guess it's about time I took my own advice and stop trying to put square blocks into round holes! It just ain't gonna happen.
I can actually see the genius of what has been stated before...If and when the time should come where: the bottoms falls out, wheels come off the cart, balloons go up, etc., etc....
People wil have to bond together for the simple reason of just staying alive.
That's about the best reason I could ever imagine where the nit-picking and the 'selective' type of mentalities will soon cease to exist.
As it is right now, people are stirring around like so many ant's all seeking direction...Tantamount to a beehive without a queen.
Given that, in time all pieces of the puzzle will fall neatly into place, or they won't and it will no longer matter at some point.

 

Honestly, out of some 95 families that live around me, I only know maybe 4 or 5 by name! that is why a "community" no longer seems to exist anymore....
I know far more people on the internet and have met them from as far away as Bogota, Colombia, as he came here in person, than I know my own next door neighbor!

 

Dragonfly, I don't know you personally so my response is based solely on reading your post here. In a nutshell, I think you are entirely too nice.

I've only read 3 or 4 pages deep in the different threads on here but in that little bit of reading you've had a bronco taken from you, have a caretaker that lies to you and may be part of a looting band and with this post have wasted a lot of your time and paid for lunches with people that you knew right away you didn't want to be involved with.

You appear to know what you want but have a serious problem weeding out the undesirables before it cost you time and money. You've got to start asking the hard questions before agreeing to meet anyone and stop worrying about hurting anyones feelings, especially if you're paying for lunch.

Tell people upfront what your expectations are before agreeing to meet in person. It looks like you've compiled a pretty good list of undesirable traits that you could use to weed the incompatible people out.

You could start out future emails by saying I don't want to waste your time or mine. I'm pretty particular about who I choose to partner with. I've wasted a lot of time with people that were grossly obese, had invalid relatives, were averse to any type of physical labor, barked at the moon blah, blah, blah. Or you could list the positive traits you're looking for, whichever you're more comfortable with.

If you do find some people that are like minded, you've been crystal clear with your expectations and progress to the stage of meeting in person, then find out that they were less than truthful, apologize for the miscommunication and excuse yourself. You owe them nothing more, not even a happy meal.

Good luck with your search, hopefully you'll find some like minded people soon. Again this observation was based on reading some of your threads and could be way off. If it is, at least it didn't cost you lunch.

 

Great post! and I agree with Gray Wolf's reply.... My uncle introduced me to the WSHTF way of thinking several years back... This man literally dropped out of society over 30 years ago and if anyone is ready, it is him... He has spread the word and been called a nut case more than once... In all these years he has found no more that 5 people who fit into his way of thinking... one guy, a good friend, just doesn't get it! When he told my uncle that he didn't need to prepare, that he would just show up at my uncles house, my uncle told him he would kill him before he made it past the gate....... the guy was horrified and asked why??? my uncle said if you can't supply food, guns, knowledge or a strong back and willingness to work, he is of no use to the cause........ I heard it and I believe him! Ever since then, I have been getting ready.

 

pcc, thanks, I think I needed that!
I have been known to be far too willing and forthcoming in my associations...
I need to take a hard stance and a much different approach to all of this!
To all of you here, I thank you all. I have a lot to change, and the time is now to do it. I have some locals that have said, "If things get bad, we'll all come over to your house..." I cannot reason that out, as I have nothing here stored at home!
Little do they realize.
Not one of those I speak of have ANYthing more than today's meal in their homes.....

 

Very few people "get it".

If you want to have a laugh, take a look at some of the survival videos on YouTube. A rucksack with 2 knives, some water proof matches, and a tin with fishing line and a hook and BAM! Youv'e got a bugout bag!

So here are people that (giving theme some credit) are survival minded and they still have no clue as to what it's really going to be like.

The rest of the folks out there, don't have but 3 days of food in their pantry, $3 in their wallet, $2 in their bank account hand and a half a tank of gas in their car.

Survival fiction hasn't helped this at all. In the few I've read, the picture is WAY too rosy. Think cannibalism, disease, hunger, cold, riots, murder....

I often think it will be rougher on the prepared than even we like to admit. Every day that goes by, I see how far behind the 8ball I am.

Anyway - I don't tell anyone anything. They just look at me like I have 3 heads. I still get the "why do you need a gun?" moron question from my in laws. I got a call the other day while in Sam's Club and made the mistake of telling a very close friend why I was buying 50lb bags of rice. Fortunately, he lives 500 miles away and I'm pretty sure it went in one ear and out the other.

And I KNOW that when TSHTF, at least a few close friends will be knocking on my door. That's why I have a few freezer bags laying around. "Here's your ration, now don't come back... ever." As hard as it is to do, they're not taking food out of my kid's mouths.

Like you Dragonfly, I would like to meet some like minded folks that live nearby, but I'm not giving anyone any guarantees. Maybe share some tips, participate in a "group buy", and have a way to make contact after it happens.
In the post-apocalypse, we can trade as wary associates.

Real negative tone here. Hate it but sometimes I feel like I'm the only one open eyes.

 

I guess that I have been very fortunate in my choice of folks. My employer was an air force survival instructor that did three tours in Viet Nam rescuing downed pilots. His partner is a West Point grad engineer and two of our other senior people are serious preppers as well. We have spent countless hours planning how to keep our business functioning even with a total economic collapse and keep as many of our people employed even if having to resort to food, fuel, and labor as a means of exchange. Collectively, we help one another with site preps, gardening, canning, biofuel production, animal husbandry, reloading, and actively devote hours each week to writing politicos to address our grievances and suggested platforms. We have extended families that are included in our preparations, even though they are not aware and do not generally participate unless invited over for a barn raising or dinner on the grounds to help out with gardening and such. We invite these less active people to join in our discussions on a limited basis and to shoot, hunt, help butcher a cow or some bunnies or fish. I am the armorer and technical writer and often the impetus for political activities. We don't view ourselves as a "tribe" per se, but we have a business that is vital to maintaining the present apparent as well as any type of reconstruction or cataclysmic event recovery. Our nucleus are all damage control professionals not only in our day to day life but in our life styles and social environment. A great many people rely on us and we make an effort at creating an environment where we teach our extended family to fish rather that giving away free fillets. God has blessed us with the knowledge and experience to do this and and we honor that blessing to the best of our abilities with our energy, toil, and intent. I can't save the world, but as long as I have the strength to raise my hand, I will offer it to contribute my share.

 

Yeah. A bit more cynical here.

The folks i know squander what they don't have and live in a way they can't afford. And that is today - when things are still somewhat civilized. I don't mind opening the door to another ant, but when the grasshoppers come around...