I would have a hard time anwsering that one since the worst mistakes I have made are the worst primarily BECAUSE of the fact that once I made them there was no way to correct them and the ones that could be corrected I have made enouph of them its hard to recall and they didnt wind up to bad with corrections. Part of it also I suppose is my own view on things that Im happy with who I am and figure its the culmination of events in my life that have meade me that person. All of that said, I gues the decision I made that turned out the worst was when I was 18 and thought about and wanted to go stay the night with friends who were kind of an adopted family but I had school the next day and decided not to. I got the call around 0430 that there was a fire (around 0100-0200) and mom had 2nd and 3rd degree burns all over her arms and legs but was stable and the 2 younger girls (12 and 15) were in ICU and not expected to make it, and neither did. A friend staying there had been able to get to their room and found the older girl first but was unable to lift her and tripped over the younger on the way out but couldnt take the heat/smoke anymore and had to leave them both. I was able to easily lift either of them, have more endurance than most and still believe if I had chosen diffrently they would have survived.
Could be but figure they would have. Still even with that one, I figure all is well in that it had a significant impact on who I am now just as all experiences I have had are the very thing that has led me to who I am and I recognize I had no way to know that with the info I had at the time the choice I made was most reasonable. It is one of the experiences however that taught me to listen well to that gut feeling and little voice. Which even their mom had mentioned she was glad I wasnt there that night because she knew that if I had been her and the girls would have been out before I left and would have been on the floor beside them if hadnt gotten them out which would have been likely especialy with getting to mom.
It wasn't a conscious decision, but an eternal regret: I will always regret not learning more from my elders while they were here. If I had one more day with any of my Grandparents: I'd record their words. I'd know their home-grown healing techniques. I'd ask more about the past, the depression, how they survived. I recall so many of our conversations, but not all of them. If only.... <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com<img src=" /> Like the red pill, I can't go back. I've asked (okay - begged) my parents to share their experiences and knowledge with my children and I, but both don't seem likely to indulge me. Whatever I was to learn from them I learned by living through it with them in my youth. That strengthened me and it sparked my insatiable curiosity and provoked me to researching a lot of the answers that I seek. What I <I>am</I> doing is making sure to share everything I can with my children. I try to spark their interest in learning and help them discover their capabilities. I only hope that my enthusiasm for continued learning is contagious.
Mine is similar to Monkey man's story. Mine started with my father having open heart surgery a 5 way bypass. I spent a week there with him at the hospital and when it was time to bring him home I did, and at that time he was walking fine , so when I pulled up in front of his house it was 9:00 pm and we were tired and he asked "if I wanted to come in and explain what the doctor said" to my mother who was sitting in her chair by the front window. I looked at the house and my mother who was sitting near the front window and said no Dad..... I will go home and be back first thing in the morning well that was 9:00 pm and at 11:00 pm there was a pounding on my door and a screaming going on, I got up and it was my mother in law telling me my parents house was on fire.... When I got there i found my dad sitting in th back of the ambulance, I looked around really fast and couldn't spot my mother anywhere, the guys on the fire dept caught me and told me she didn't make it......My dad lost everything ......... except his life..... I to this day I still regret not going in and spending that last few minutes of our lives together. I miss her so. RIP Mom
There are some regrets we live with that can never be erased and I can see why that is yours. I'm sorry you lost your mom so tragically QS,
I have similar regrets. I still hate sleep to this day. Everything bad that is going to happen is going to wait till im sleeping.
I suppose another, also with no remedy, was when my best friend, Ted, died. I knew the basics of CPR but had never thought to ask Drs or anyone who would know how his conditions would alter the way you would preform CPR on him. He had COPD so wasnt sure if would have to give lighter breaths to avoid tearing the lungs, he had ostioperosis (sp?) so was concerned if normal compressions would drive ribs into the heart and lungs after breaking them, and he was obese so conversly wasnt sure if might have to use more force. Since we were in the ER parkinglot when he colapsed and stoped breathing and flatlined and I was uncertain about these things I decided to wait for the pros as a messenger had already gone to let them know we needed help and I also had called 911 and we were within less than 100 yards of the ER doors and under the life flight pad. It took them over 30 minutes to respond (given the situation I didnt trust my perception of time untill witnesses confirmed it for me later) and they managed after an hour or so of working on him to get his heart beating again on its own but he never regained consiousness and died officialy that night.
The worst decision that I ever made was not a conscious one, but rather falling into a pattern of anger and lethargy that let events happen rather than shaping them. For many years, I carried a big chip on my shoulder that made me believe that the end would always justify the means. I developed a true belief in situational ethics and played the cards I was delt with vicious ferocity. I was pursued by ghosts. I have corrected that by trying to become a "good" man. I spent years studying what I believe constitutes a "good" man and I have developed a set of morals and ethics that I will not allow myself to violate. I no longer react; I have learned to respond. The ghosts no longer chase me; they now advise me.
I really try not to think about it, my parents taught me that everything works out, there are reasons we make the decisions we do and shouldn't dwell on them. I've followed that thought for the better part of my almost 40 years and it seems to work out for me. I'm trying to teach my wife the same thing, she is always looking back and wondering if she made the right decision. Of course she's looking at me when she says it
Interesting term, I think a lot of people have that same mindset. It is easy to turn in $100 that you have found, but what if it was $100,000, or $1,000,000...........the choice becomes that much more difficult for many.
