EVERYONE has something to teach

Discussion in 'General Survival and Preparedness' started by Hanzo, Sep 19, 2015.

  1. Hanzo

    Hanzo Monkey+++

    I truly believe that and try to open to lessons to be learned. Hopefully from someone else's mistakes and not mine.

    Anyway, was watching Craig Ferguson on Netflix last night. He is a smart and funny guy, by the way. And his show was called, "Does This Need to Be Said."

    The gist of his story is that people, especially online, immediately blurt out whatever crosses their mind without thought to the consequence(s). So his idea, and I agree with him, is that you need to ask yourself three things first.
    1. Does this need to be said?
    2. Does this need to be said by me?
    3. Does this need to be said by me now?
    So he said it took him three marriages to learn that lesson.
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  2. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    There are three questions that should be asked more often (than I do.)
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  3. Brokor

    Brokor Live Free or Cry Moderator Site Supporter+++ Founding Member

    Did you really have to say that? Jeez.
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  4. Hanzo

    Hanzo Monkey+++

    Right now!
  5. tacmotusn

    tacmotusn RIP 1/13/21

    Put a filter on my mind and my mouth?
    Are you freakin kidding me?
    Actually, there is, but it is very limited. the Constitution.
    I have never been and never will be all that PC.
    I call them the way I see them.
    There are times when a lie or silence is preferable to the truth.
    As in, "honey does my ass look fat in these slacks?"
  6. Motomom34

    Motomom34 Monkey+++

    Yes it needs to be said, yes it needs to be said by you. Making someone else your mouthpiece or hoping someone else will convey what needs to be said will result in nothing. The biggie is ~does this need to be said by me now. That is a huge one. Sometimes it is best to let things cool prior to speaking. But on the other hand instead of cooling, things could be simmering. That is the one that is hard to gauge. In real life it is easier because you can read body language and see the person to help to know whether to say it now or let things cool. In the cyber world, judging is difficult. You have no clue who you are talking to and who they truly are. Sometimes I think people are more invested in their cyber relationships then the ones right in front of them. You can turn off those online but you cannot turn-off those in real life. (Or you can but sometimes unwise)
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  7. UncleMorgan

    UncleMorgan I like peeling bananas and (occasionally) people.

    Hi, Bad Monkey.

    One thing you always gotta remember about dealing with women is that they love chocolate. Consequently, you can get away with anything if you just give them chocolate.

    So when my sweetie asks me if her new dress makes her butt look big, I just say "Yes, dear. Would you like some chocolate?"
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  8. Hanzo

    Hanzo Monkey+++

    Not sure what Ferguson meant, but I did not mean PC stuff. I am not very PC either. And I agree with your ass comment!
    tacmotusn likes this.
  9. Hanzo

    Hanzo Monkey+++

    There was an episode of Big Bang Theory where Sheldon conditions Penny's behavior with chocolate reinforcement. Don't watch much TV, but that is a funny show. And NCIS is a great show. That and some sports will pretty much do it for me.
  10. Hanzo

    Hanzo Monkey+++

    Speaking of not being PC as well as the whole does this need to be said thing, I just got an angry email from a soccer mom. She approached me and a couple others after practice on Wednesday saying she couldn't referee. We are assigned games that we referee for the other teams as they referee our games. And we need to be certified. She is not. Her ex-husband usually does it. So she tells us she cannot do it, she doesn't know how, blah blah blah.

    Well, I tell her we cannot help her. Of the three of us there, one is not available and the other two are already assigned to referee that game. So I asked her to reach out to the team and get someone to take her place. Fast forward to late last night. I haven't seen or heard anything, until her ex-husband emails me saying that he would have hoped she would be responsible enough to take care of it. He is out of town.

    So I am worried that we will not have a full complement for the referee team. And I email team. And I wasn't really happy to do so because I felt she should have been the one to ask for help. So I basically describe the situation and ask if anyone could step up, she would owe them one.

    So she emails back this morning angry at me for the email. Said she sent one out after we spoke on Wednesday and no one responded to her. I have heard nothing. Seen nothing. Search of emails show up nothing. So I email the team doing what I thought she should have done.

    Thinking back in the morning, I probably should have contacted her directly even though it was late at night. And I was more than a little ticked off because the tone of the conversation left me feeling like she wasn't going to do it. I did not see her do anything. And her ex said he reached out to her and nothing. And I was tired and was about to get ready for bed when I saw his email.

    I feel I was wrong. And I apologized to her directly and publicly. But I think she was wrong too, to not communicate anything. What do you guys think? Bad hanzo? Semi-bad hanzo?
  11. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    Communication is the heart of crisis management. I don't see your error.
  12. Ganado

    Ganado Monkey+++

    @Hanzo I see a woman who made a mistake and instead of being thankful you tried to help her, she went after you. You were very generous in offering an apology but we're not obligated.

    It's a matter of where you stand. Are you standing in 'it's about the kids getting what they need?' Or 'its all about her somehow? ' context is everything when dealing with human beings.

    My 2 cents is always about where you stand to address something that is missing. If you stand in the correct spot, like a fulcrum you can move the world if not the world moves you/me.

    In this case you were missing a referee and a responsible mom. You did what you thought was necessary. If she is mad she has the same pants to get glad in and you covered her snafu like any gentleman would.
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  13. Hanzo

    Hanzo Monkey+++

    Mahalo @ghrit.
  14. Hanzo

    Hanzo Monkey+++

    Mahalo @Ganado. You guys are the best. I was feeling bad all morning. You guys helped me feel better.

    Looking back, I don't think what I did was wrong. I think how I did it was. But I wasn't thinking about her. Was thinking of our responsibility. So when I spoke to her today, she tells me she emailed the team. BUT she somehow decided to not include the coaches and the referee team in the email. WTF?!?

    So she was pretty mad all day, I think. I could smell her stink eye. I had the wifee referee so less friction. Hopefully that lady stepped up. I will find out when the wifee gets home.

    But the girls did great. We are half way through the season and every girl on the team has scored as of today. We haven't given up a goal since our first game. The girls possessed and controlled the ball over 90% of the time. We ran it up a little bit, 8-0. We were 5-0 at the beginning of the 2nd quarter and were playing keep away already. In the second half, we had two girls who did't score yet for the season. So we tried to set them up. Everybody else just worked on dribbling and passing skills. So the first of two girls scored and the after about 5 or 6 shots on goal, the last girl scored. But instead of just working on our possession game, she got hungry and greedy and got another. We had to tone it down. So she got the message. And the last quarter was just possessing the ball. Last two games were very promising. 13-0 us and we controlled the ball 90%+ of the game and played one their half most of the game except for when the girls would drop to our keeper.
  15. tatiana

    tatiana On Hiatus Banned

    @Hanzo During the day I usually have that filter but it's obliterated by the ambien I take to sleep. So excuse the wild extrapolations that come out of my mouth after 10pm central time in the USA. Ambien makes me completely loopy-I joined this site on it xD.
    seriously, I do practice kindness and reserve during my waking hours or I wouldn't have a job obviously:D.foosedfoosedfoosed

    @uncle morgan,
    It has to be 75% proof, Pure cacao. But I still wouldn't let you say my butt looked big-it's hot. A man who brings me dark chocolate has earned huge or as The eyeless fish Trump would say-YUGE- brownie points in my heart. flutters eyelashes.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 20, 2015
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  16. Motomom34

    Motomom34 Monkey+++

    Way off topic but Ambien is one of the worst drugs out there. Get off of it. They are having to regulate it with the elderly because there body does not process it fast enough and they get a build up. I know too many stories of people in blackout states from Ambien. It is an extremely dangerous drug.

    Does this need to be said by me now? Yes- it did need to be said now. Ambien is not user friendly.
    tatiana, Brokor, Hanzo and 5 others like this.
  17. UncleMorgan

    UncleMorgan I like peeling bananas and (occasionally) people.

    I would never think of offering anything less...

    Frankly, if it's not Swiss it's probably a miss.

    (Hmmm. How about "Your butt looks really hot, Tatiana. Would you like some chocolate?)
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  18. UncleMorgan

    UncleMorgan I like peeling bananas and (occasionally) people.


    Following up on motomom's suggestion, I heartily agree.
    Ambien is one of several drugs approved by the FDA after the entireity of the lab results were falsified.
    It's an untested drug with unknown effects.
    The news is only coming out now, but this has been a common tactic by Big Pharma since at least the days of Donald Rumsfeld and Aspertame.

    To Big Pharma only $$$$$$$ matters.
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  19. UncleMorgan

    UncleMorgan I like peeling bananas and (occasionally) people.


    I think you're definitely due a complement on your sportsmanship and the teaching of same. I noticed how you described "toning it down" once it was pretty obvious that the other team was outclassed.

    Some coaches/managers might have taken the same opportunity to grind the other team into the dirt just for a braggart's score.

    (As in "Yay! We beat them 2,846 to nothing!)

    Running up a huge score is really cruel to the less-skilled team. It's much better when playing the game matters, and it's not just about winning.

    Ya done good, and ya done it in a way that can last a long time.
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  20. Motomom34

    Motomom34 Monkey+++

    IMO in today's world people very often refrain from telling the cold hard truth straight out because they are worried about hurting or offending someone else. That is why we have the 3 questions that that Hanzo posted. I do wonder if those questions or people even questioned whether to speak outright 30 years ago. Does that make sense? Yes, sometimes someone telling you straight out hurts but if you are strong enough to handle the truth then you will learn from it. Presently if someone says something harsh or redirects someone strongly then the person receiving ends up in therapy whining that they were bullied or someone was mean to them. The phrase wussification of a nation certainly applies.
    tatiana, Hanzo, kellory and 3 others like this.
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