If I believed in Angels

Discussion in 'Blogs' started by Seacowboys, Jan 13, 2008.

  1. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    If I believed in Angels, would they really have wings?
    Would really know how to fly?
    Would they know how to sing?
    Or would they just come to me in the middle of the night
    To offer their cold comfort in the lonely hours before day-light?

    If I believed in fairy-tales, would all my wishes come true?
    Would there be words like “Forever”, and
    “I will always love you”?
    And would you have stayed with me for the rest of our lives,
    If I believed in Angels and you believed in lies?

    Did you believe in Angels or was it just another game?
    And did the Angels dessert you when you got tired of playing?
    Did they come to comfort you in the middle of that night?
    Did you not believe in Angels when you chose to take you life?

    When I was younger, I believed I was haunted. There were just too many things that religion and reason could not explain. I had ghosts that followed me everywhere, poltergeists that played with the events that shaped me into a man. Demons that tormented me to the very edge of the crevasse, with only darkness below and but one single hand reaching to prevent my fall.
    I was playing in a band, Seacowboys, and hosting a live weekly radio broadcast that featured area song writers in <st1:place w:st="on">North Florida</st1:place>, at the Bluebird Café. The show was called the Jacksonville Seacattlemen’s Association Meetings and would be the opening for whatever artist was featured that week. I had recorded a solo-album of music that I had written and when I would perform “If I believed in Angels”, the audience would respond with absolute silence and it was a gut-wrenching emotion to feel the impact that followed with the applause that came too late to laud the performance but praised the lyrics. Several producers wanted that song, including Clint Black’s producer, Guy Clark, Billie Joe Shaver, but it was too deeply personal to allow anyone else to perform it, even with my name as the author/composer. A good friend, Craig Spirko at 12<sup>th</sup> House Records asked if I would record it on a compilation album he was producing that featured local musicians. The album was called “Mystery Date” and the concept was that I would come into the studio and record my tracks and he would select other musicians to play along with it that I had never recorded with before.
    The night of the “Mystery Date” release party was the first time I ever heard the finished composition. It was beautiful. When it played, there was not a dry eye in the house and I cannot begin to describe the emotions that I felt that evening. Craig had selected only one other musician to record on my song, Brian Homan. Brian is a Dobro player that was a protégé to Jerry Douglas, Allison Krause’s Dobro player. He describes himself as a “Minimalist” performer. There was just my acoustic guitar and raspy voice and Brian with his dobro, playing like De Vinci with his brush and the finished product would make anyone believe in hauntings.
    I arrived home very late that evening, around 3 or 4 in the morning. While undressing for bed, my telephone rang. It was my youngest brother in <st1:State w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Tennessee</st1:place></st1:State>. He had been calling all evening to tell me the tragic news, one of my brothers, Michael, had killed himself with a bullet to his head and coincidentally, at the moment “If I believed in Angels” made its debut.
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