Post Apocalypse Job Search

Discussion in 'General Survival and Preparedness' started by F. Ticious, Mar 19, 2012.


  1. F. Ticious

    F. Ticious Monkey

    Hello; my name is F. Ticious, ya’ll can call me Frank or Frank Lee; I don't really give a damn. You may remember me from the interstate bill-boards advertising $99.00 no-fault divorces back before the collapse. I don’t see much need for a divorce lawyer anymore; it seems that now if a couple doesn’t get along, one just shoots the other one and that more or less effectively ends the relationship.
    I suppose that I am one of the fortunate ones after TEOTWAWKI, having spent years reading all the PAW stories and novels. I stock-piled enough guns and ammunition to last me a life-time or two but a lot got left behind when I had to abandon my Bug-out vehicle to those mutant ninja ZOMBIES. This would have never happened if the other members of my group had rallied as planned, but none the less, I made it to the National forest on foot and I have a cache back at the house that I do not believe the present occupants will discover any time soon.
    I must admit that the first several weeks were enlightening, to say the least. It had never occurred to me that there were good reasons that man moved out of caves and into other more suitable forms of shelter. It did occur to me that a “Will work for food” sign isn’t much use unless you actually take it to where there is work being conducted, but just a word of caution here: sometimes those busy folks don’t want your help and will shoot at you when they see you coming.
    Frank
     
  2. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    Dude; i don't know whether to welcome a lawyer or not? But I have often suspected you guys lived in caves or at least under a rock somewhere...
     
  3. F. Ticious

    F. Ticious Monkey

    yes, under a good rock would be much better than a cave! Caves tend to attract bats and bats are not very sanitary little animals and not very nourishing. Their poop is everywhere and thousands of little bugs and other crawly things live in it. There is this one really large blind cricket that will pinch you and draw blood and those little rolly-polly bugs are everywhere. Do you think there might be a demand for bat poop? I read somewhere about guano being used for fertilizer or gunpowder or something? I could bring sacks of bat poop to swap meets?
     
  4. larryinalabama

    larryinalabama Monkey++

    Whats the punch line??????????
     
  5. Gator 45/70

    Gator 45/70 Monkey+++

  6. RightHand

    RightHand Wicked Cranky Too Moderator Founding Member

    Welcome Frank. I believe you may be the first and, to date, only lawyer in our midst so it will be very interesting to hear your opinions. We might not always agree but I'm sure you're accustomed to that.

    As a point in fact, Bat Poop is indeed a valuable resource, much like bull poop, either as fertilizer or, when dried, a building material for shelter. Mix with dried grass and form into blocks. I used to build simple structures from bull poop all the time. Very cozy until that first rain hit!
     
  7. larryinalabama

    larryinalabama Monkey++

    Is this thred starting to smell bad?
     
  8. F. Ticious

    F. Ticious Monkey

    OK,,I can try a picture
    HS_crwd_enhncd.JPG
     
    ditch witch likes this.
  9. Gator 45/70

    Gator 45/70 Monkey+++

    Naa...May need a wheelbarrow to haul all the incoming bull off with...lol


     
  10. Gator 45/70

    Gator 45/70 Monkey+++

    Where da bat's ?


     
  11. F. Ticious

    F. Ticious Monkey

    When I lived in Meadow Lake, noboy ever offered to push my lawn-mower for a couple of cheese-burgers. I am serious about working for food. If you need help, leave a message on one of my signs hanging along the road. I check them daily and will meet where directed fully prepared to cut wood or something for a sandwich or some potatoes.
     
  12. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    Dude? Why don't you take up turtle hunting and processing as a new skill set? Sell the meat and make bowls out of the shells? hell, I'll just bet that will go over a lot better than sacks full of bat-**** at the swap meets?
     
    Alpha Dog and Gator 45/70 like this.
  13. Alpha Dog

    Alpha Dog survival of the breed

    Is this for real? Plus I thought the devil took care of all lawyers after selling their soul's during law school.
     
  14. RightHand

    RightHand Wicked Cranky Too Moderator Founding Member

    Marauding bands of turtles certainly need culling lest they overtake the natural flora and fauna. I have a tortoise shell mantilla comb that is truly beautiful - I think there may be an opportunity here
     
  15. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    They sell turtle traps here in Alabama for catching water turtles...if they make commercial traps, it would follow to reason that there are turtle trappers; might be a career opportunity in the near distant future?
     
  16. RightHand

    RightHand Wicked Cranky Too Moderator Founding Member

    How big are those turtle traps Sea - too big for a BOB?
     
  17. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    They can be made collapsible, I think they are basically just a tub with floats on them that are weighted to make the water level inside well below the outside so when a turtle climbs over the top, they fall in and can't get out. Here is one of my favorite ones that just use sunning boards:
    images.
     
  18. RightHand

    RightHand Wicked Cranky Too Moderator Founding Member

    Unless they are wearing on of those little "I've fallen and I can't get up" emergency buttons
     
  19. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    here are some more turtle traps.
    dsunt. seacowboys-albums-places-picture227t-my-favorite-rifle;-note-serial-number. turtleon.JPG
     
  20. BTPost

    BTPost Old Fart Snow Monkey Moderator

    I need one of those RH, but the don't work this far out, so I carry a Handi-Talki, so I can call the Coast Guard, should I get myself messed up, when i Am out past the Flats... ....
     
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