Post Apocalypse Job Search

The cave spiders remind me of the chick who ate one on Fear Factor. It's legs were sticking out of her mouth like a kid hanging onto the door frame to keep from being drug back to the woodshed for his whippin.

thanks for the laugh

 

So Frank Lee? I am curious about the , what did you call them? Mutant Ninja Zombies? I am sure we need to hear more about them.

 

Cut the lawyer some slack.

My lawyers have been incredibly helpful with keeping the .gov away from my hard earned assets, and helped me skip some hurdles placed in front of me. An HONEST lawyer will generally get a handshake and welcome from me.

Welcome Frank! :handshake:

 

Thank you so much for the kind words Mr. Enough. If you find need of representation, I will work for food or other essential supplies.

Yes, Thank you for asking Mr. Seacowboy. They are driving a light grey 2010 Escalade with maroon leather interior and a 200 gigabyte hard-drive surround sound system with my entire collection of traditional Irish folk music. They are very well armed, as I was carrying several handguns, a scoped Barrett Rifle, a Remington 700 tactical with a scope in .308, an Armlite AR-10, two M-4 carbines, two Ruger 10-22 rifles, and an Uzi sub-machine gun. There was also sixty pounds of junk silver and 10,000 rounds of ammunition as well as all my Alpine camping gear and MREs loaded in the matching trailer with the four-wheeler. There is a small Obama bumper-sticker in the left rear window (I wasn’t for Obama but a lot of my clients lived in the colored part of town).

I got lost during the confusion of the evacuation and when I stopped to ask directions from an African American man, I find myself surrounded with multiple weapons pointed at me. They took my vehicle and supplies and all the money and my identification wallet but they were kind enough to drive me to the edge of town and leave me near a source of running water. I think they intended for me to drown when they threw me from the bridge, but I was second string breast stroke on the University swim team and easily made it to shore. It took several days, while evading contact with other potentially hostile people, to find my way to the rendezvous area where I waited for nearly three weeks before deciding the rest of the group must have met with ill-fate and I moved my limited resources into the cave.

 

Damn.

 

It's been hard. Loosing all my preps is one thing but losing faith in my fellow man has been the hardest. I've been lawyering for long enough to know there are plenty of bad guys out there, even before the recent turn of events, but I never thought they would turn against me. Have to put all that aside and find a new means of supporting myself. I don't know if there are enough turtles in my area to support my lifestyle. such as it is. I might have to take on several auxiliary efforts. No more of this one trick pony life for me. Got to be quick in thought, quick in body, quick in action - makes me tired just thinking about it but, a man's got to do what a man's got to do. I surely appreciate all the input. It's like testimony from an expert witness but you guys aren't expecting to get paid. Or are you?????

 

Something doesn't smell just right here; how do you get internet access and electricity out in a National Forest?

 

I thought I mentioned that but my brain get a little foggy sometimes. Must be the hunger. Anyway, I can sometimes pick up a wi-fi signal that I think comes from a ranger station on the crest of the next mountain. It's a very powerful signal so I'm thinking it must be a .gov type. I never stay on too long in case they have tracking software. I keep my forays until after dark and haven't encountered any living DNA types yet but I can't be too careful.

 

I apologize for the smell Mr. Cowboy. I did not think to provide soap and toiletry items in my cache. I am only now beginning to realize some of the grievous errors I made in my preparations. I have a Sony Tough-book laptop with a Verizon wireless card that contains a vast library of .pdfs that I have accumulated over the years but I am only now beginning to organize them into searchable formats. When we first began planning our escape route, I did a large geo-cache with what I assumed would be essential items. I have a solar panel and single 12 volt marine battery and a 15 watt power invertor for electricity. Our group decided to use Garmin Rhino 400 radios with gps but so far, mine is the only operational station within range. I have my personal version of a tactical wheel-barrow that one of the survival experts on a forum recommended; do you know “Gunkid”? He said I could use him as a reference on any survival board. I am also very deficient on clothing items. I have what is left of my BDU’s that I was wearing when they threw me into the river and a Tactical Kilt and a few pairs of wool socks that were in my cache. I find the kilt is very handy since toilet paper is a thing of the past and sometimes my digestive system is a little liquid, given the variety of my present diet. I am willing to barter some lead 00 buckshot for a towel, it makes really good slingshot ammo.

I have a Benelli M1 Tactical Super 90 shotgun with ghost-ring sights but I only have slugs and buck-shot for ammunition, I should have known to bring small shot for small game as I have yet to see a single wild deer, although I did see what I believe to be someone’s pigs that may have gotten loose. Slugs do not leave much squirrel or bird when you shoot them. I managed to remove several of the buckshots to use in a slingshot but haven’t hit anything yet with that. I am trying to find something suitable, maybe small rocks, to reload the shells that I opened and maybe have a better chance to kill some birds for eating. It is possible that I may improve on my archery skills if I continue to practice but so far, I haven’t found a suitable material for making arrows that will fly straight enough to hit a fish. I did catch several small fish and a turtle last week by damning up a small stream with rocks and chasing them to the shallow end where I was able to beat them with a stick. I have a very large knife in a scabbard but I wish I had thought to bring a smaller one to use cleaning baby fish. Cooking utensils escaped my preparations too. I do most of my meals in a large tin can that contained Mountain House dried potatoes until they got wet a couple of days after I had to start using the can for cooking. I have a 5 gallon can of white rice and one of beans that eventually I will dig up. I am planning to make a recon trip back into the city soon to see if I can recover any of my cache items buried beneath the bird-bath. I just hope the zombies have not discovered it yet.

 

Welcome to the lawyer .
I think I heard it all now
a lawyer willing to work.
Next thing ya know he'll
be looking to get tactical
wheel barrow to haul all
BS that he's shoveling !!
Anyway Welcome and
look out for the MNZ's

 

I do have a wheel-barrow! And I am very good at shoveling but I only have a Cold-Steel Speznaz shovel that will double as an ax so I can shovel BS and cut firewood! Do you need some BS moved? OPSEC prevents me from using the forum to disclose my location but I am will to travel any distance for a long-term employment opportunity that will provide me with sufficient caloric intake and shelter. Where are you located?

 

OK, I am ready to bite; why do you think the Shite has hit the fan? What brought on the flight to evade? The curious want to know?

 

I have been reading Prison Planet for a while now and came to realize how close to the edge we all were. It came as no surprise to me, after NDAA was passed that our Republic had fallen. I do not intend to spend the rest of my days in a FEMA camp or to be treated as a “Domestic Terrorist” and sent off to be water-boarded in some black-camp in Afghanistan. When the IRS showed up at my office with the process papers and the ATF came to my house to look for unregistered firearms, I knew it was the end and just marginally escaped with my bug-out vehicle that I kept in the long-term storage area near I-40. I sent numerous emails to the other members of my group but did not wait to receive their response and since leaving, have had no contact with any of them. God help us all.

 

Mr. Ditch Witch, those are some very attractive shoes you are wearing. I wanted to thank you for reminding me that the cave crickets are edible; I looked them up and apparently they are mostly protein. I will dine well tonight! Thank you so very much.

 

Mr. Grits...LOL...don't chase it away yet. He hasn't offended anyone yet, I don't think.

 

Mr. Ticious, I lived on the streets for a while many years ago after a bad divorce and a lot of chemical abuse so I can sort of understand being out there but there might be agencies that can help you out a little. You can PM me for some advice, if needed and I will try to answer reasonably.

 

Good gracious. My apologies if I have offended anyone at all. That is the farthest thing from my mind. I am simply seeking the company of like-minded people who won't condemn me for my acceptance of the current realities of life as it has evolved.

Mr. Seacowboys, I want to expand a little on my response to your question concerning my abrupt departure. The way I see it, long before the monumental, earth shaking, in your face events occur, there are constant ripples in the pond. If you are paying attention to the surface, you will be able to detect the strong undertow that will not be evident to the unmindful. That's what I do, watch the ripples and react accordingly before the undertow consumes me. I hope!

 

And thank you for your kind offer. These are troubling times for us all, and uncharted waters, so to speak, for many of us. All offers of advice will be gratefully accepted