Prepping for old age...

Never figured to live to old age and I'll fight it all the way out.
Built a house I wanted, 3 stories, but built to grow old in.
One thing I always noticed was that old folks got old by not exercising. Now I don't mean the Gym type of exercises that is not a life style.
I built a house with stairs all the way to the top, with dual handrails and I never climb without one hand on a rail and usually both rails. I use the stairs to keep my legs and arms in shape during inclement weather, be it too hot or to frozen outside. I take the stairs as a way to stay in shape and as a way to keep track of what's out side as I have a 360 degree view from the cupola. This was also planned to lessen cabin fever and as a way to stay safe by being able to check on things and still not risk a fall on an icy step.
The driveway is as flat as I could make it and is rocked instead of paved, a better grip and a safer way to check on the Mail. The main entry into the house is only a few inches above ground level and the car can be parked at the edge to enable minimum steps to unload items.
Front door is a whooping 42 inches and has the usual small lip for a weather strip. If a wheel chair ever comes into play I have pre-cut wooden strips to act as a small ramp, just to ease the bump factor.
If I need to move from the master BR then I figure to have any care takers have that as their own apartment.
The kitchen has the same wide access and bump pads on the one door jamb that the Fridge opens onto, so a hand's slip will not damage anything and will allow full opening of the door.

The 1st floor is all large tile and the only rug at this time is a simple runner that can be rolled up and put away.
Downstairs bath room has a entry door that will be removed if needed. The shower and commode has a sliding pocket door for ease of entry.

Lots of windows and two flat connecting large patios to allow for a exercise path by foot or wheel chair.

Cattle can stay as long as I do for I have a deal with my Hay Guy to keep the cows feed and kick dirt over me if need be.

Yup I'm ready for 100++

 

Okay, so you are covered in the not being elderly department..
but what about those around you? People you care for that maybe getting elderly and may need some tweaks to make their lives easier or safer. Grab bars are huge and making sure entry and exit ways are safe is key.

 

That is why I clean for someone every other Friday. These folks built a house when they were just starting their family. The house is big with 3 stories but the kids are gone and they now have too much house. My friend had a knee replacement (a bad one)10 plus years ago that makes it painful to walk. Another knee surgery is out of the question due to finances. The lady of the home has a real hard time getting up the stairs some days but she does it, sometimes having to stop and gather strength to get up to the next stair. They are not prepared, nor is their home able to be fit for a wheelchair. She has a fitbit that tracks her daily exercise. She may get in daily movement but she hurts. I have concluded that they are not going to do anything until something happens and a move is forced.

 

When I've lost friends and family all around me, I figured I'd not survive this long, but I did.
By direct intervention I know God has preserved me, so I believe He has a plan for my life .
I would suppose that desperate times require desperate measures.
God even spoke to a wayward prophet through an ass (donkey ) I am not the brightest penny in the pond but a penny never the less.
One could have all the preparations for 100 years but die the next day. No one's fate is set in stone IMO .
I have more junk than all of you, I'd bet, but there is no security in it. It becomes an millstone . on the other hand it can be a blessing to those in need ,so at times I feel like a warehouseman .
None of the stuff is actually all mine, so I get disperse it to those in need, God puts in my path .
I am not so concerned about self preservation indefinitely, but sustain my self for the work ahead what ever that might be, and others I support. .
Why do I live ? but to make a difference in the lives of others, but most of all serve my God , through out this life and the next .

 

I don't figure God has any certain spans for me just live right till I die.

 

I guess I've done a pretty good job of that abandoned home look. Neighbor kid, who I met when his father gave me some eggs, said he always thought nobody lived in my house. I don't know how the kid could miss the smoke from the chimney and the star-like Aida Express lantern burning on the deck most nights, but maybe he's doing homework and going to bed at a reasonable hour.

When I sit in my rocking chair on the porch I thing it'd be pretty easy to adapt a wheel chair ramp to my decks, and we already have low maintenance concrete floors and good neighbors. Unless I do something stupid I could be around long enough for my kids to reach retirement age and have time to keep tabs on me.

 

While this is all too funny, it is also all too true. I don't have any plans for the later years. I am already medically retired with balance issues. I had to learn 10 years ago to sit down and watch as my wife unloaded the car, regardless of how heavy the item was. I grew up learning that the men did the outside chores, home maintenance, vehicle maintenance, lifting/carrying the heavier things and holding a door open for women. It wasn't a sexist issue. It was (and still is for me) a politeness issue. I know there are younger girls, older women and some that I not so sure are really women that can life more than I without falling over, stand and hold a door open while still holding their child, etc. And I must agree that 'pride and stubborn' are issues. It took me some time to learn to stay out of the way and let my wife do the lifting/carrying. I ate many servings of humble pie to start to not feel guilty when I said 'Thank You' to the woman who held the door open for me.

My kids do not want me (or both my wife and I) moving in with them. They already dealt with me for 18 years and don't want to put themselves into a 'open ended contract' to help and maybe even support me. My daughter laughs "You're getting cremated!". She is implying that she will put forth the least amount of effort and money when it comes to my final expenses. Not that she has anything to worry about money wise, but she doesn't want to deal with the arrangements. She wants to walk into the funeral home, hand them the insurance papers, tell them to 'cremate me' and then walk away. Having just dealt with my own mother's death in August, I can understand her not wanting to deal with all the details and signatures that go into final arrangements. I have no delusions of a plot, headstone and yearly visits on Father's Day, my birthday, etc. and I don't want to waste the land it would take to bury a coffin. Cremate me, dump my ashes somewhere and walk away. It's kind of a 'Dog's Attitude': If you can not eat it or play with it, then piss on it and walk away.

My wife and I will what we can until we can't. After that neither one of us care to become a burden to someone else or society.

 

The "Bert Gummer deluxe"! I like this tho I prefer adobe- which does require some maintenance... but not much.

 

Unless you have a serious "plan", you may be surprised..

 

Old age....what is that? Oh...there is that Chronos guy following me around again.

 

If you knew my ex you wouldn't question it.

 

@HK_User you are so right on the exercise bit. As always I admire your thinking.

No one has addressed the mental aspects of aging. My Dad is getting more senile as dementia sets in. He is getting sweeter and has a great sense of humor about it all but its still sad for me to see such a smart and sharp man decline. Something I have to accept.

I had a talk with him a few months ago at my mom's request about running out in the yard with his gun every time he heard something. He wears these long cotton shorts, no shoes and a robe top but hey at least he has cloths on!

our conversation went like this.
So Dad you still running out in the yard when you hear something?
Dad "yes I have to know what is going on"
me: oh interesting so what are you going to do when you run out with your gun?
Dad: it's for protection
Me: against what
Dad: disturbances
ME: what kind of disturbances are you expecting
Dad: (long monologe about homeless who have invaded their neighborhood, and the gangs that leave marks on the sidewalks in the park)
Me: I see, why would you shoot them what is reason enough to shoot them
Dad: if I have to and if they come on my property
Me: so let's play this scenario out, you hear something you run out in the yard and leave the security gate and door open behind you right?
Dad: yes
Me: it's 2 am and mom is sleeping so you have left her wide open for someone to run in the house and close the door and leave you outside right? And you take your gun with you what if they knock you down? (my dad can barely get up off the floor when he falls out of bed in the morning)
Dad: maybe but I can see them coming.
Me; dad you just went outside the gate and the security door and we both know there is a corner outside the gate you can't see, you took your gun with you, was the bullet chambered?
Dad: yes we need to put up a camera there. and of course I had a bullet chambered!
Me: and you sit in your chair with the bullet in the chamber?
Dad Yes it's faster that way.
Me Dad can you please rethink this strategy. When you flop down on the chair (his knees don't work too well at 86 yrs old) it might be a good idea to not have a bullet in the chamber so that you dont shoot yourself in the leg or in the ass ....
Dad: ok i will think about that one you might be right.
ME : let's build you a 4 inch platform to go under your chair so you can sit rather than flop ok?
we built him a plat form, him supervising of course and we put up a security camera

Me: ok and so in the mean time do you think you could not run outside and leave mom vulnerable?
Dad: yea that's a good idea I will think about it


6 months later

Dad: well I've been thinking about what you said and I don't take my gun out with me when I run outside. except the other night when the cops were out running off the homeless who were squatting in the investment house on the corner. I ran out with my gun to try and help
Me: (stunned speechless) I start laughing..... Dad tell me you really did not run outside and stand behind the police with gun in hand?
Dad: yes I did I'm a good citizen backing them up.
NOW I'm really laughing
Me: I can just see it now, you will be calling me to come bail you out of jail because the police arrest you
(what is running thru my mind)
Police: sir put the gun down, get down on your knees
Dad saying well boys if I get down I can't get up, so come get the gun
(at this point I am laughing so hard I can barely talk)

When i finally calm down
I say to my Dad
So from our talk 6 months ago what you got out of it was
Don't take your gun outside unless the police are there then take it with you to help or get yourself shot?
Dad: well put that way maybe I need to rethink this.
(a few minutes later)
Dad: I need another AK47 and they are on sale tomorrow, wanna go shopping? your mom wont take me
Me: when is the last time you cleaned your guns?
Dad: I looked down the bore they are pretty clean.
Me: so never?
Dad: not in a long time
Me: so why don't we have a gun cleaning party tomorrow just you and me? then go shopping once the maintenance is done?
Dad: sounds good I like that plan

I swear I am not making this up.

Yes we did go buy him a new gun. It makes no sense to me and my Mom is mad as hell but Dad is happy and I did get him to put a few guns back in the safe. He can't remember the combination so I did my duty as a daughter without trying to force him to do anything. He will rethink the running out of the house strategy. Who knows what the conclusion will be.

I think trying to prepare for old age isnt really feasible there are things you can do like walking and staying fit. not gym fit but movement and hope you have enough sense left to listen to the people around you when you know your mind is going. I try to treat my parents with dignity and respect and there is nothing dignified about aging. So to help make it bearable we just need a sense of humor and a prayer for the best.

My Dad told me once several years ago that he would commit suicide before he became a burden. I just dont think he will realize it when he does become a burden.

I don't know what my Dad will decide about running out of the house. Lately he has taken to waking my mom up and then running out of the house so he has a 'backup' my mom hates guns but does know how to use them. This new habit makes her crazy so now we have an opening for another discussion.

The reality is he will probably always run out of the house and see what is going on. His pride wont let him stay inside and the criminals will be gone by the time he gets up our of his chair and gets outside. (I hope)

finally I did discuss legal issue with them and they are getting their trust together (finally) and I had them buy cremation packages from the Neptune society. So the burial part is taken care of. I have their medical power of attorney so there isn't an issue with that. They have 1st choice and I would never do anything against their wishes but I know my Dad and he could never say to a Doctor 'let my wife die' he just doesn't have it in him. And my mom does not want to longer in a coma so I have both Medical POA and they have DNR's (Do Not Resuscitate) at their Doctor's and with the POA's.

America's Trusted Cremation Provider

As a side note you cannot be an organ donor with a Neptune cremation contract. So if you do use them you have to get organ donor removed from your Driver's license

 

Hey me and your dad think a lot alike. The house across from me is empty,and falling down, well last night there was a flashlight shining over there. The owners son who is about 45 was over there working on a car.I did not call the police so I grabbed my gun and flashlight and went to check it out. He was just walking around doing nothing so it seemed. I told him that was a good way to get shot walking around like that. Drugs that what I believe it is. I am not far behind your dad,I am 75.

 

Nice Daughter Ms G
Enjoy the time .
Good thread

 

Twenty some years ago, we built our "til death" house. We did all the old age/disability things like having it all flat and wide doors for a wheel chair. We were off road and off grid and really meant to be there until we went out feet first, as DH liked to say. However, we discovered drawbacks to the plan. Once we got a bit long in the tooth(65 and 76) to make repairs and that sort of thing, we couldn't get service people to come out there. When DH had back surgery and needed rehab, he had to go to a rehab center(nursing home)for 5 weeks because no in-home people would come to our house and the drive to town for out patient rehab was too bumpy to risk his new back surgery coming undone. The local small town fire chief said that in an emergency it would take them 45 minutes to get to us, if they could get there at all in winter weather. We had lots of friends in the little town 40 miles away, but to come to us was an hour drive and most didn't have vehicles that could deal with the off-road forest service roads, so their good wishes weren't really available to us.

We ended up getting rid of our livestock(chickens, ducks, geese, milk goats, 2 feeder pigs, a horse and a mule) because it became too much to get and unload all their feed, and no one would deliver. We couldn't leave town to visit the newly arriving grandkids because it became impossible to get a house/dog sitter to be out there.

Three years ago we sold that house(with great difficulty) moved back into town and it's been a wonderful change. We can get service people, we're 2 minutes from the grocery store, and our friends come in to sit with DH now that his dementia has gotten significant if I need to go out for errands or doc appointments. If I have to go to the city for doc appointments, it's a half hour drive instead of and hour and a half.

We had 20 wonderful years there, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat, but there are limits to old age planning that we don't always see in advance.

 

You should post your story starting at least from the beginning of the off-grid set-up and life stye,Thanks

 

A bit less woodsy here and over the years, as expected, town has grown toward us. As planned/hoped for no new roads have been cut in our general area and the 1400 acre ranch that comprised the area in which we bought has stayed pretty much the same. Sure more smaller parcels as folks split up what they bought of the original ranch property but now we have paved all weather roads and even a "Rural" Rides as well as a NEW Taxi service. The Taxi owner is a young vet and has made others lives a lot better.

I drift here a bit but I am always happy to see a hard working young person pick up the reins and make a better life for themselves and others.

So ours has worked out and we'll see what happens. The local Hospital is an extension of the DFW Metroplex as well as the North Texas Heart Center. Chopper service to DFW is a known as is the local Hospital which has all we need with the exception of a Cath Lab, but that service is only 35 miles from our front door and the Truck and Duty Driver know the way.

Luck and planning what can I say?

 

Priceless.

 

Timing!

I read your post right after I came back inside last night, around 2 am.

Something woke me and the dog needed a trip outside.

No homeless or bad guys, just a skunk on the prowl.

Yes I was armed and had a flashlight, weapons were all concealed as I was dressed warmly.

A walk around indicated the skunk was maybe miles away so I enjoyed the fresh 33 degrees and secured all outside water outlets by closing their supply valves in the insulated pump house as the forecaster had been wrong and it would drop to 29 degrees. Said goodnight to the cows and noted the cats were not around and all cubbied up safe and warm.

The animals by their place and purpose are the best indicators I have.

Did a last look around and went inside.

 

i generally don't go out after dark unless it is to close up the chickens and make sure all the shop and barn doors are closed and vehicles locked up .
There are always critters trying to get into the chickens and I have settled with .if a bob cat is that determined to get one he's earned it , unless I am motivated to do something about it. I keep my compound bow and arrows at the door .
I do at times hear stuff going on out side and check it out , and it can be any number of things.
I have 3 noisy wineries in view as well as horses and other activities going on even the marine base doing their practice in the night is rattling my windows from time to time .that and any number of planes and helicopters over head night and day .
I wonder how any security can be maintained with out having cameras both hidden and hidden around the house.