RAISING BOYS

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Witch Doctor 01, Dec 13, 2010.


  1. Witch Doctor 01

    Witch Doctor 01 Mojo Maker

    RAISING BOYS
    a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
    b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
    c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
    d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
    e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
    The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...
    Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
    1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
    2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
    3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
    4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
    5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
    6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
    7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
    8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
    9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
    10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
    11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
    12.) Super glue is forever.
    13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
    14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
    <FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.ffice:eek:ffice" /><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com[​IMG]16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
    17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
    18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
    19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
    20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
    21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
    22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
    23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
    24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
     
  2. Falcon15

    Falcon15 Falco Peregrinus

  3. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member

    :lol: Was actually on the way to the garage to give it a whack, but was distracted by something else --. Glad I saw the vids. It'll keep 'till the weather clears up.
     
  4. Falcon15

    Falcon15 Falco Peregrinus

    Men never grow up...inside I mean! :lol:
     
  5. Brokor

    Brokor Live Free or Cry Moderator Site Supporter+++ Founding Member


    crap. This is so true...
     
  6. Ladyhawke

    Ladyhawke Monkey+

    Every word true. I have two and my husband...and I wouldn't change it for a million bucks. Boys are great, and make life a little more interesting ! and dirty ;)
     
  7. Mountainman

    Mountainman Großes Mitglied Site Supporter+++

    That is so funny. The only thing I thought about after reading the post is trying the smoke mix out.
     
  8. Siskiyoumom

    Siskiyoumom Monkey+

    What cool set up!
    Could this be the new addition to a bug out bag or get rescued bag?
    If you can transport the brake fluid and bleach seperately then combine if you need to mark your area for rescue?
     
  9. Disciple

    Disciple Monkey+

    I looked at a couple of the subsequant vids chlorine and coke........The garage floor had a clean spot under where it spewed out. for about 2 foot around. the rest of the floor was black from dirt grease and oil.
     
  10. Joboo

    Joboo Monkey+

    80% here....This is just to cool, my wife will not think so!!
     
  11. BTPost

    BTPost Old Fart Snow Monkey Moderator

    God forbid that you boys learn about Ammonia and Iodine.......
     
  12. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member

    :lol: Ever open a window with that stuff?
     
  13. Jayway

    Jayway Monkey+

    THANKYOU FOR THAT POST - I nearly choked with laughter - -
     
  14. BTPost

    BTPost Old Fart Snow Monkey Moderator

    or Acetone and Hydrogen Peroxide...... and there are plenty more that fit into this category..... got in BIG trouble 50 years ago, while in Jr. High School... something about a Locker Door, with no hinges left, and a dirty Brown Stain.... Oh for the "Good Old Days".....
     
  15. Witch Doctor 01

    Witch Doctor 01 Mojo Maker

    Good old days amen to that.... i too spent some time fast talking in chemistry class....
     
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