The House Fairy and Simeon the Crane Operator

Discussion in 'Blogs' started by Seacowboys, Aug 30, 2007.

  1. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    The House Fairy

    I am always leaving things out that I know should be put back where they belong; it is sort of my disorganized way of organizing. I know where I took off my shoes. I know where I left the disc with Microsoft project on it lying on the bar. It is the natural order of expansion, to increase the limits of one’s territory throughout the house. Things disappear around my house. Yesterday’s blue-jeans are never on the dresser where I left them, last week’s pizza is never on the second shelf in the refrigerator. This is very disconcerting.

    I thought that I was loosing my memory or maybe I was hallucinating, filling my mind with false memories. Maybe the puppies took whatever I was looking for; something moved it. I now know the truth!
    My wife, whom doesn’t work, explained that the House-Fairy moves this stuff. I guess I have been too busy to notice that we have a house-fairy, especially with three dogs and step-son that only comes home after we get him out of jail. Apparently house-fairies are only visible to people with certain physical characteristics that I lack; a certain visual spectrum that requires estrogen to activate. I believe that most men lost the ability to see these things somewhere back in the Paleolithic period. We, as men, require a certain type of myopia used to focus on the capturing of a mastodon for dinner and that narrowing of the focal point renders house-fairies invisible, for all practical purposes.

    I had some doubts that man evolved from Apes, at least I did until I met Simeon. Simeon is a Bahamian. There is nothing that grows in the <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Bahamas</st1:place></st1:country-region>, no food is produced here. There is nothing manufactured here either. The only revenue is from what they can scalp from the Unite States. Tourism dollars, and what they can tax onto everything they buy in the states to sell here, is the lion’s share of the economy. The rest of the island is employed by either the Shipyard, which repairs ships that we won’t let into the <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">U.S.</st1:place></st1:country-region> or the container port; now that’s a jewel. The container port is basically a cargo shuffler. Since foreign registry ships cannot legally load cargo in one U.S. port and transport it to another U.S. port, they load them in Miami and bring the cargo to the Bahamas where it is put onto another foreign registry ship to be sent to New York. That’s all they do is move cargo from one ship to another to beat the system and add tax dollars and handling fees onto everything. Simeon is a crane operator. I offered him a job on my project in the <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Bahamas</st1:place></st1:country-region> but he wants more money than I want to pay him so he calls the Bahamas Labor Board and has them contact me to explain all the Bahamas Labor laws.<span> </span>I have to hire X-amount of Bahamians; not a problem. I have to pay them over-time after 40 hours; once more, not a problem. Where the problem is, is that that bastard is using political extortion to try and make me hire him for more money than he is worth. If he keeps this up, I am going to enlist my secret weapon; I’ll call the House-fairy and make him disappear!</span>
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