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Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend!

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Cruisin Sloth, May 14, 2012.

  1. Cruisin Sloth

    Cruisin Sloth Special & Slow

    Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

    - Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
    - Why the early bird gets the worm;
    - Life isn't always fair;
    - And maybe it was my fault.

    Just a commoner lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

    His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

    Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

    It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

    Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

    Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

    Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, launched a lawsuit and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

    Common Sense was preceded in death,
    -by his parents, Truth and Trust,
    -by his wife, Discretion,
    -by his daughter, Responsibility,
    -and by his son, Reason.

    He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;
    - I Know My Rights
    - I Want It Now
    - Someone Else Is To Blame
    - I'm A Victim
    - Pay me for Doing Nothing

    Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
  2. kckndrgn

    kckndrgn Moderator Moderator Founding Member

    LOVE IT!!
  3. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    Brokor likes this.
  4. TailorMadeHell

    TailorMadeHell Lurking Shadow Creature

    Common Sense is truly missed. Maybe one day, we will find the technology to resurrect Common Sense in the world. Until then, be wary.
  5. BTPost

    BTPost Old Fart Snow Monkey Moderator

    Actually Common Sense is alive and well in the Less Populated areas of the World.... When humans are pitted against Nature, to Survive they, largely do better, in the Common Sense Area, than their Urban and SubUrban, neighbors. Common sense seems to get lost the closer to cities and towns you get. Just an observation from a Bush Dweller. YMMV....
    Tracy likes this.
  6. Brokor

    Brokor Live Free or Cry Moderator Site Supporter+++ Founding Member

    Alas! Common sense was suddenly and inexplicably karate chopped across the larynx and suffocated by his arch nemesis, PRIDE. Now, pride resides wherever common sense once lived, surrounded by wild, hairy beasts and other furry creatures with big fangs. The humility of pride, my dear what will we do!

    Tracy likes this.
  7. Cruisin Sloth

    Cruisin Sloth Special & Slow

    A-yup , Going to the BIG smokes this week. YVR & SEA .. Once im on the love boat , im committed to stay clear of the nut jobs.

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