Working on being a Gray Man

My boys went out to Portland a few months ago. Being that it was Portland, I was worried about what they could encounter. One of the boys answered, Mom I know to blend then peel off when it is clear. I have talked to them about being a Gray Man in a crowd for years and was proud that they immediately knew what I was getting at before I had to say it. But in today’s world it is wise to work on and perfect your skills of being a Gray Man at all times especially if you live in a city or larger town. Things seem to be erupting quickly and for no reason.

Appearance

Always work out ahead of time the type of people, culture, and weather you are most likely to be in. Plan your general appearance based on that. Remember, staying concealed does not mean wearing a hoodie in the middle of August in Florida.

If you are able to plan ahead, wear neutral colors. You want to blend in with the surrounding city colors and the people as much as possible. Sure, people will still see you, but you won’t really stand out and attract attention the way someone in bright colors would. And NO tactical clothing.

(This is a good one for women or men that wear cologne) Avoid strong smelling deodorants or perfumes. Smells can attract attention. That attention might be innocent at first, but then people might notice you have more than they have.

Use pockets in clothing and your backpack to conceal tactical gear. Nothing shiny or obvious should be visible.

Extra camouflage NEVER hurts. Scuff up your rain cover or backpack to make it look less desirable. Put duct tape, dirt, or anything else on it that will make it look less desirable.

This article has a huge list of Gray Man musts: 41 Essential Rules to Become the Gray Man - Ready To Go Survival

These are just a few things that one should think of with appearance. Being a Gray Man is a true skill and takes practice. It is a way of life. Little by little I have started working on becoming more invisible, which is very hard because it is not in my nature.

I know we have had these discussions before but this is something we should all be practicing and a skill that we should re-visit often for safety sake.

So what do you do? Thoughts and suggestions to be invisible?

 

When I went to "Spooky School" there were some pretty good things we learned about being grey men and women, and those things have always stuck with me.

For men, there are a number of "TELLS" I was trained to avoid and to also watch for.
Expensive watches/Tactical watches are a dead give away. Foot wear is another biggy, Boots, especially expensive or tactical, and fancy/expensive shoes paint you as a target. Sun glasses, if they are expensive or "Tactical" your busted. "Tactical Pants" like the 5.11's make you stand out almost as bad as the other stuff, DONT, no matter how practical and comfy. Hair styles, nothign says target like a middle aged dude with a Marine Corps Mowhawk, or an Air Force Flat Top Buzz, or a Rangers Fade. same with facial hair and Hats, ANYTHING tactical looking paints you as an Operator, all tha above might as well sport the blue windbreaker jacket tha says FED SPOOK on the back! Neutral colors should be Levies Blue, or dress slacks, NON of the modern "Tactical" colors!
Footwear should be lower to mid range looks and price, NO boots, unless their cowboy or actual work boots, again, nothing hard core or tactical! Winter time jackets will also give you away, any of the bigger/well known brands might raise the alert level, a NorthFace or Helly Hanson might fly, but a Canada Goose or Kusu, or Moose Tech, and now your a target! This is also very region specific, you show up wearing high end Salewa anywhere but a ski resort town, you stick out, likewise, there are west coast and east coast brands, and that can trip you up! Lastly, if you look too old to be "tactical" or you dress like your wealthy, you will get noticed, likewise, if your an Old Dude and dress like the modern kids, you will stand out! I fit all the above, but I control the image I project, so I have every advantage in appearing exactly how I want people to see me, or not!

Women can be more of a challenge, depending on age and body type, some can pull off the grey man easier then others, it's a womans curse! If you look like a bimbo or a model, your going to get noticed, if your busty, your going to stand out, and like my wife, if you wear fancy high heels, you stand out! Adopting the "Grundge Look" or a very toned down gym/soccer mom look will help blend in! Another big time tell is hand bags, and that's one of the hardest to make work, but it's essential! Hair styles will also make you stand out, hats can help, but then the wrong hat can be worse! Next time your out, look for the "Frumpy Chick" and notice how she blends with out trying, THATS what you want to emulate as much as you can!

 

I usually feel like I'm pretty gray 95% of the time. I'm just an old blue jeans , work boots , t shirts in the summer ,, insulated flannel in the winter. Just an old long haired hippie construction worker . With a 20 dollar pocket knife at the ready . But I do find myself consistently looking everywhere I go , for anything that can be used as a weapon ,, or a shield ,, in a pinch . This is outside the truck ,, inside the truck is a different story.

 

@Ura-Ki you are correct about the grunge look. I gave up my fun purple and blue streaked hair and went mousy, as much as I hate the look, people no longer notice me as much.

I heard a podcast that stay away from all black and wear grays or tans, those are the less noticeable.

 

If you really want to hide in plane sight, Mottled Grays are the ultimate urban camo, and pretty damn hard to beat in the wilds too!

 

I’ve never heard of this before, Gray Man. Hmm.

 

I misread it leaving out the 'r'............need to clean my glasses.......ahahhaaaaaaa

 

I was a recluse way before it was cool but…Gray, the mask, more anonymity when I pop out of my hole. (Or tree)

 

I have failed at the gray man look....except the short beard.
I pretty much look like a hobo that just rolled out from under a bridge....but clean.
With almost 3 foot wide shoulders, Skin on my neck is as thick as an old alligators, Bright blue eyes and I'm told I walk and carry myself like a western gun-hand.
If I catch you looking at me you may get the blank un-blinking stare and a very slight crazy grin.
No-one wants to be around a crazy looking old kraut for long....lol

 

anyone done business with these folks?

 

Clean'em ,,, or get new ones ,,,, I ain't wanting to be lumped up in that crowd you're talking 'bout ,,,

 

Here is a prime example:
Most mornings I got to a specific place to walk before work. Usually I am alone or there are a few seniors that walk on warm mornings. Last week because I am aware I noticed a man a little bit behind me. My radar went up. Description:

Non-de script sneakers
tan pants, beige coat
black gloves, black face covering pulled up to his black sunglasses
beige ball cap without a logo.

If an incident had happened, there was not one standout thing that could have identified him.

 

That was "Covid Man".

 

I look like what I am, a worn out working stiff. Nobody notices me except the people who get back in their car and lock the doors.
I fit in better in small towns since COVID and have traded my military haircut and shave for a pony tail and long beard. I could get people to completely ignore me if I made a cardboard sign that said "Homeless, Please help" and stood on the median by the stop light. Unless they jump up and down nobody seems to even see them. (Because we've seen them walking to their car, or rolling another couple bills around a BIG roll they hide in their coat pocket.)

The biggest "tell" that I project is constantly looking around.

 

When I bought a new pickup a couple years back, I got a white one.
A friend asked me "Why white"?

I didn't answer but thought "Do you know how many white Ford pickups there are on the road"?
There must be millions. I think just about every company work and construction truck is just plain white.

Growing up in the age of loud 'glass packs' rubber-peeling muscle cars, never liked them much. Attracted too much attention which of course was the whole point. Many of my friends at the time found out that they also attracted the attention of the cops at most inopportune times. Oh I liked fast cars, just quiet ones with dull, uninteresting paint jobs, no bright orange with flames on the hood or racing stripes.

Typically I wear jeans, T-Shirt (Plain, from WalMart) summer, flannel winter, no bright loud colors or camo, always look as if I'm about ready for a haircut, shaggy but not long hair, baseball cap, work style boots in need of polish.
I've always been about not attracting attention. My wife in the past has purchased bright red shirts, only to see them sit in the drawer.

I picked a lot of this up from my father, who was born and raised in Brooklyn. I think he may have avoided a lot of trouble and tough guys by blending in. It was a defense mechanism.

 

My truck is beat to shit. But starts everytime. My wife cuts my hair. I don't care how it looks. I don't have to look at myself. I usually dress in old dude surfer garb in FL or fishing clothes ( old style... you know...old) in NC. Cheap sunglasses (Unless I'm on the water) to keep my eye movements unseen. I hav. e cool t shirts and hats like NRA, If guns are outlawed, I'll be an outlaw, the Punisher, and Bud's guns...never wear them.

Pisses me off that my free speech is so "cancelled". But if you go the survivor route now it's " If there's trouble, don't be there and grayman". Especially for a grey haired white guy.

 

Late to this party but this is my two cents. I love being the gray man. Jeans, grey hoodie with at black semi puffy vest and an old beat up pair of Merrell hiking boots. When the mask mandates came in I was over the moon. Slide on one of those surgical masks and blend in with all the other folks. Had a conversation with a buddy of mine months back who was an ardent anti masker but shares my same passion for anonymity. Gave him my spiel on mask and he started to grove on it. He isn't wearing the mask to stop the spread of the virus now he is wearing it because it allowing him to hide in plain sight. Silver lining to every a bad situation I guess.

Godspeed

 

Gotta love the mask mandate. Banks requiring masks for entry but sign says no masks allowed.
wonder why there hasn't be a bigger rush of bank robberies ... maybe that was what the stimmy was for. Keep them flush with cash so they don't steal more than the government does.